Bad Breeders

Now here’s one hell of a hard blog to read. Motherless is devoted to real stories by real people who have lost their mothers, physically or emotionally. It’s the latter stories that really knee you in the crotch. Take this tale from Jo of Jo’s Cafe, whose mom created an abusive home environment (a place that, as Jo writes, "would make an angel cringe"). The emotional torture has lasted well into Jo’s adulthood, to the point where Jo finally decided: "today I admit to God and everyone I know – I do not love my mother."

Is there a worse thing your own child can say about you? 

Come on down, Brandon Scott Lewis! (No relation to Daniel Day, as far as I know.) You’re next in line for Worst Father of the Year award! The 22-year-old apparently thought it was a good idea to develop a cocaine habit. Additionally, he saw no problem with leaving the substance around where his none-month-old son, whom he left alone in the house, could dip into it. You wanna hear the punch line? Lewis and friends squandered valuable time destroying the remaining coke before taking the boy to the hospital. Because, after all, we must have our priorities straight in life. My son’s life…or several years in jail? Hm, tough call, gonna have to ponder that one…

Hell, dude, you could have just trafficked in stolen baby formula like everybody else does. It’s still mega-illegal, of course. But at least that way, if your kid got into it, he wouldn’t have ended up on life support.

(You’ll be happy to know that it looks like Lewis’ son will make a full recovery. Maybe if we all pitch in, we can buy the poor kid a new daddy for Christmas.) 

Ugh. The John Hogan case has got to be the most heart-rending tragedy I’ve encountered in years. New information is leaking out slowly, come of it contradictory. One news report claims that Hogan tossed his son Liam to his death before jumping with his daughter in his arms; another report claims he cradled both kids close before plummeting to what ought to have been his own death. Whatever the truth (either version is despicable), one thing is certain: Hogan wants to do the job right this time. He’s refusing all food and water, and practically begging to die.

As an added twist in this already twisted tale, the Daily Mirror reports that suicide runs in the Hogan family: both of John Hogan’s brothers killed themselves within the past 10 years. The Mirror also mentions that, shortly before the first brother killed himself in 1996, their father died due to complications from multiple sclerosis. Having lost my own dad to MS, I’m no stranger to that pain.

Hogan has, by these accounts, tried to make the most of a fucked-up life. But does that begin to excuse what he’s done, or ameliorate his share of the blame? How many people have faced down similar suffering without chucking their kids off of a balcony? Is it a tragedy that he’s starving himself to death – or should the world simply scoff and say, "You should’ve chosen starvation the first time, asshole"?

What do you think? Does John Hogan deserve any sympathy and compassion? 

It’s nice to take a break once in a while from blogging about murderers, rapists and cokeheads in the parenting spectrum, and instead focus my attention on someone whose worst crime is run-of-the-mill stupidity. Yes, folks, it’s time for more Britney Spears-Kevin Federline dish! This is hardly news by now, but I would be remiss in my bad parent blogging duties if I failed to discuss the lumbering disaster that was K-Fed’s performance at the Teen Choice Awards.

I’m not going to waste bits describing the train wreck, when you can easily watch it for yourselves. Good rap? Uh, no. Good blog fodder? Dude, it’s the gift that keeps on giving…

(By the way, you may wonder: Why a Britney photo instead of a Federline snap? Couldn’t help it. I mean, I cannot. Stop. Staring. At. Her. TITS. Holy Mary Mother of God. I’m quite familiar with pregnancy tits, thank you – but damn, those could feed a nation of millions. If I didn’t know that K-Fed had been slobbering all over them, I might actually be turned on!)

The wife of John Hogan, the man I christened a "total bastard" after he jumped off of a hotel balcony window with his son and daughter, is defending her husband. Natasha Hogan claims her significant other’s actions were "totally out of character".

Um…okaaaay. Apparently, society’s definition of "good parent" is becoming more lax by the second.

I have to admit, there’s something oddly admirable about this "stand by your man" attitude. And in the aftermath of what’s happened, I can understand wanting to cling to what remains of your family as hard as you can. On the other hand, I know that if I were ever to do what Hogan did – regardless of circumstance, regardless of how depressed or drunk or whatever I was – my wife would leave me in three seconds flat. She’d have divorce papers filed within minutes of the funeral.

And I wouldn’t blame her one bit.

Direct from Heaven, it’s…the Armor of God PJs! Perfect for your little Crusader or Crusaderette (who will, of course, remain at home squeezing out babies while her husband slays the Muslims and the Atheists, natch). Why not? It’s been a long time since we’ve had a good children’s crusade.

Personally, I think they got the costumes wrong. Shouldn’t the text on the belts read "Chastity"?

Tip to Christian parents: Do not – repeat, do NOT – pack these pajamas with you on your missionary trip to Iraq. They may not go over as well as you planned.

[UPDATE: I've redacted this entry. Based on all reports, Tom Frazza was a good man and father who experienced a sudden, inexplicable slide into madness. My job here is to hold parents to account for their crimes; that mandate doesn't apply when someone may not be in full control of their actions. I apologize for any harm my words caused his friends and surviving family.]

People are pulling out the "he seemed like such a nice guy" routine for Thomas Frazza, a Washington Township, New Jersey man who no longer roams the Earth. Seems Frazza was stressed out by his failing business that he decided to cash in the chips. His perogative, I suppose. But, like all good cowards and bastards, Frazza wasn’t content just to take himself out of the game. Oh, no. His despair and bitterness ran so deep that he shot his sons, 20-year-old John and 14-year-old Kevin, before turning his weapon on himself. Because Goddess forbid you have to sell your home on the Jersey shore because of your debt. FAR better to kill your children in their sleep than live through THAT indignity.

Recently, I caused a stir on DadCentric when I maintained that people who commit suicide are selfish pricks. I stand by that contention. It’s perfectly possible to have compassion for someone who’s suffering to the point of self-immolation, but revile them for saddling their survivors with so much pain and grief.

At the time, I maintained that the only thing worse than offing yourself was taking your family with you. Now, I’m sorry I ever uttered such foolish words. Brit John Hogan is currently hospitalized in Greece after jumping from a hotel balcony with his 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. His son died. The daughter survived. Sadly, so did Hogan, who claimed he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. (Apparently, drunkenness is the catch-all excuse for everything from killing your kids to hating the Jews.)

The reaction in Greece has been…well, let’s say, unforgiving. A crowd of people apparently surrounded Hogan stretcher after the jump to heap abuse on him. And the director of University General Hospital, Panayotis Spatharakis, was quoted as saying: "I feel that once he recovers and understands what he has done he should commit suicide." yeah…They’re hard-core in Greece like that. They’ll gladly fix you up…then leave you alone with a length of bedsheet so you can get it right the second time.

"Okay, guys, I’ve left the engine on so you can get the A/C and listen to the radio while daddy’s out. You’ve got snacks and water on the floorboard, so you should be fine. If ya gotta piss or shit, just walk over to Como Elementary School there and do it on the playground, in the bushes behind the monkey bars there – they won’t mind. It looks like the kids in that house over there like to watch Nickelodeon, so just go peer through the window if you get bored. Now you three be on your best behavior while daddy collapses for two days at this flophouse and gets smacked off his ass, okay? That’s my little angels!"

Needless to say, 32-year-old Jibrib Ali probably won’t get to see his kids (whose kids range in age from 8 to 12) anytime soon. Judging from this story, his kids won’t be missing much.

News flash: Parents are stupid! And they’re liars! At least, according to a new report from Columbia University, they suffer from delusions of innocence when it comes to their kids and they parties they attend. The study claims that 80% of all parents believe their kids attends dry parties – while 50% of the teens say that their parties are awash in booze and reefer. Even more disturbing: 99% of parents claim they would never alllow alcohol at parties they supervise. But 28% of their kids called "liar liar pants on fire" on that one, saying they’ve had drink and drugs under a parent’s so-called "supervision".

Certainly, I’m in zero position to push a "Just Say No" policy. But this isn’t about "tolerance" for occasional drinking or drug use – it’s about being blind. This is how kids becoome addicted to drugs and alcohol: because their parents insist that their little Johnny "would never do such a thing". They usually don’t wise up until little Johnny’s wrapped the family Miata around a telephone poll, and tested for a 0.15 BAC.