Parents Behaving Badly

Ready for a story with an “ick” factor that’s off the charts? Well, too damn bad – here it is. I owe thanks to Mr. Nice Guy for finding the disturbing story of Bruce McMahan, a millionaire investment broker who could have his pick of romantic partners. The one he really wanted, however, was the one he helped conceive. As Kelly Cramer from the Broward-Palm Beach New Times relates, McMahan and his daughter Linda Marie Hodge McMahan Schutt were “married” in a secret ceremony at Westminster Abbey.

How could a dad bring himself to do this, you may ask? Apparently, Mr. McMahan is quite the slut-puppy; he’s been spreading his seed around for a number of years, fathering a few children along the way. He didn’t even know that Linda existed until she was 18 years old. With no background of fatherly attachment upon which to draw, McMahan apparently thought she was bedpost-notch material. The faux marriage was the culmination of a years-long on-again, off-again sexual relationship. The whole shebang fell apart when McMahan’s fifth wife, whom he has divorcing, gained access to Linda’s Yahoo! account and uncovered the photos and email detailing the “passion that leads men straight to hell”, as McMahan himself put it. When he demanded that Linda deny his wife’s claim, she refused, leading to an explosion of court cases.

The legal wrangling quickly become nasty and disgusting; one of the pieces of evidence introduced was a vibrator that tested positive for both Schutt’s DNA and McMahan’s sperm (OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!). But all cases were apparently settled out of court very recently, and most of the documents sealed, with McMahan never copping to the incest allegations.

The New Times is taking a huge risk publishing this piece, which they did despite threats from McMahan’s lawyers. Good for them. While the daughter herself is no doubt flakier than a French croissant, there can be little doubt based on the evidence that Bruce McMahan went where no father should ever go. I’ve seen money and power do some fucked-up things to people, but this may well take the cake.

Judging by reader comments on my other blog, it seems that most people think it’s a foregone conclusion that Melinda Duckett killed her son Trenton. And certainly, as I discussed in an earlier post, things look grim for the dead mom. Duckett, who killed herself after being grilled on national TV by ratings sponge Nancy Grace, was found to have disposed of many of Trenton’s possessions a few days after his reported disappearance. Then there’s the social services record trail left behind by both parents, which contains numerous incidents of dad Joshua Duckett claiming that Melinda threatened to harm the child as a way to spite him.

I have to admit, though: while I find it highly probable that Melinda is the perpetrator, I can’t be as strident as some others are in condemning Duckett in the absence of a body.

Why? First of all, there are Melinda’s multiple suicide notes, in which she expresses that she’d be a crappy mother after Trenton was found. Now, these notes may be posthumous posturing on Duckett’s part – an irrational attempt to control public perception of her, fostered by the belief that Trenton will never be found and the truth will never come out. But they may also be seen as painting a portrait of an unstable woman who was pushed over the edge by her son’s disappearance. This would explain her unwillingness to cooperate with police, her tossing Trenton’s things, and her post-CNN suicide: she had given up on being Trenton’s mommy. (Incidentally, this theory lets Nancy Grace off the hook as well: if it’s true, then Duckett had decided to check out long before she appeared on the show.)

Second of all, Joshua Duckett has changed his story about Melinda’s behavior so many times that he can hardly be believed. He claimed numerous times that, during heated arguments, Melinda tried to manipulate him by threatening to harm Trenton. But then he signed a statement recanting all of these accusations, claiming that his mommy put him up to it. Now that Melinda’s dead, he’s recanted again, saying that Melinda and her attorney “pressured” him into signing that statement. Which version of reality is the truth, Mr. Duckett?

And third of all, where’s Trenton? Call me naive but if Melinda Duckett did this, I would’ve thought that they’d have found his body long before now. Both Ducketts come across in social services reports as irrational, impulsive people; they are far from being criminal masterminds. If Melinda Duckett did this, I can’t see her being very original about hiding Trenton’s body. (On the other hand, a baby is easier to hide than a full human being, and easier to kill without spilling blood, so there’s less of a chance of leaving behind clues. Yes, I know it’s gruesome to think like this, but I’m sure the cops are using even more grim calculations in their attempts to retrace Duckett’s steps.)

Am I saying it’s likely that someone else kidnapped Trenton? That he was baby-napped by some lunatic woman who’s parading him around town and pretending to be his mommy? No. I think the obvious conclusion – that Melinda Duckett killed her baby – is still the most probable. But until all the i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed, I’m not going to unleash my fury on the dead woman. There are too many holes in this narrative for it to be an open and shut case. Make no mistake, however: When the truth does come out, whoever is responsible will not be spared the wrath of PBB.

Now if only that wrath could bring dead children back to life…

Occasionally, while looking for stories of “bad-behaving parents”, I find cases in which the parents are engaged in fully acceptable behavior, but taxpayer time and money are squandered “prosecuting” them for some innocuous “crime”. We’ve all heard of instances, for example, where some minimum-wage flunkie in a photo lab calls Child Protective Services over innocent pics of a naked child, or of a dad giving his kid a raspberry. I’m dedicating a new occasional column, the False Positive Alert, to tracking such cases. While it’s important to vilify those folks who abuse their kids, it’s equally important to call out public servants when they waste time persecuting the innocent.

Today’s possible False Positive Alert comes from Somerset, England, where – tada! – a minimum-wage flunkie reported two unnamed parents to the coppers after he processed a photo of their baby hanging off of a clothesline. Now, I’m not saying that this is the world’s brightest idea. Obviously, there are any number of ways that Mr. and Mrs. Anne Geddes could’ve fucked this up, and injured their youngling. But is this a “‘crime” that warrants investigating them on charges of “child cruelty”? Hell no. They were trying to get a funny picture to post on the Internet. Compared to the crimes we’ve documented here, this isn’t even in the same ballpark.

Unless that roll of film also has snaps of the couple blowing crack-pipe smoke in their baby’s face, howzabout we drop this case, and go after the criminals who are doing actual damage to their kids instead?

Thanks (if that’s the word for it) to Southern Sass for this appalling story of adoptive parents run amock. I’ve run a fair number of stories in this space about adoptive and foster parents who treat their kids as badly or worse than they were treated by their original parents (with poor Marcus Fiesel being perhaps the saddest story of all). You can now add to this Gallery of Monsters John and Connie Oliver, the parents of two kids they adopted from Estonia. At least, they were their parents, until authorities discovered that their 10-year-old girl and 12-year-old boy weighed no more than 45 pounds apiece. According to police, the kids were routinely abused, with loving mom Connie locking them out of the house whenever she wanted to go shopping.

This is one of those cases where I think a punishment in kind is much deserved. Whaddya think, folks? These two look like they could lose about a hundreds pounds or so anyway. Hell, starvation might be doing them a favor.

Yesterday, we were witness to a genius father who brought his baby to a drug deal. At least that joker was only putting his kid in potential danger. 33-year-old Carlos Deering of Ohio took things to the next level: when police swooped in on a drug deal he was conducting from inside his van, Deering bolted, ramming a police cruiser during his getaway. Police didn’t know at the time that five of Deering’s kids, ranging in ages from 10 to 13, were inside the vehicle.

So, let’s tally this up. The guy has impregnated one or more women a total of five times since he was 20. (The article makes it sound like one. At least he has the fideltiy thing down pat.) He’s made such a career out of drug-dealing that, when his lawyer was working out a plea agreement for his previous drug felony, he stopped showing up to court and hit the streets in his Nice Dreams truck again. Not only that, but he thought he’s bring his kids along for the trip. You know, show ‘em a bit of the trade. What kind of parent wouldn’t want their kids to learn a skill? Then, finally, after eluding police for 20 minutes, he bolted from the van and attempted to scale a fence before being Tasered – ’cause if you’re gonna teach your kids about Thug Life, ya need to teach ‘em how to take 300 kilovolts to the chest.

Deering attempted to pull the “I’ve made some bad life choices” shtick in court. The judge didn’t buy it, and hit the drug-dealing dad with a 14-year sentence.

The right decision? Absolutely. But, damn, I feel for those kids. Deering’s wife is pleading that she has no money to support her children without Carlos’ drug income. For Christ’s sake, woman, cut this guy OFF already. Leave him behind, file for state support, get some career training, and get your life back together. If you loved and feared for these kids as much as you pretended in court, you wouldn’t have stuck by this four-time loser for as long as you have.

Hnag in there, kids. Only eight more years, and you’re all home-free.

Aaaah, ya gotta love religion. It can be a bastion of hope for the hopeless – a flicker of light in a dark world. Too often, however, it’s used as an umbrella defense for ridiculous and primitive ideas that society should have left behind a Stone Age ago. One such idea is polygamy, a misogynistic and abusive practice that’s revered by fundie Mormons such as Warren Jeffs.

While practicing polygamy is illegal (especially when it involves the “marrying” of underaged girls, as is common among Mormon bigamists), talking about it is not. Which is as it should be. But should a dad be allowed to teach these beliefs to his children? According to the Pennsylvania State Supreme Court, the answer is yes. The Court ruled 5-1 this week that Stanley M. Shepp can indoctrine his daughters regarding the virtue of being some Mormon knucklehead’s 14th baby-trophy.

You can read the full ruling from the Pennsylvania court yourself (PDF file). The long and the short of it is that the Court didn’t believe that teaching his daughters about polygamy was enough of a danger to warrant overriding Shepp’s right to free speech. Legally, I agree. Preventing parents from teaching their children “questionable” beliefs is a slippery slope that would lead to asshole judges applying their private morality in court – like the Indiana judge who ruled that two divorcing parents, both Pagans, couldn’t raise their daughter into their faith.

Morally, however, Shepp’s still a bastard for cramming this crap into the ear canals of impressionable children. So I’m practicing my right to free speech by plunking him in the PBB Hall of Shame. Fortunately, his oldest daughter’s a teen now – and we all know how resilient teens are to swallowing their parents’ bullshit. Here’s hoping that his daughter grows up, moves to Massachusetts, and marries the woman of her dreams.

(P.S. to Mr. Shepp: You’re lookin’ pretty snazzy in that button-down banana shirt, buddy. Ya know, if God ever gives you permission to take on a husband…)

(Photo courtesy of CNN/AP)

As readers of my main blog know, my wife was recently out of town covering the Telluride and Toronto film festivals. She came back last Sunday via a direct flight from Toronto. As misfortune would have it, she hadn’t had her feet back on American soil for more than 30 minutes when she and I were both witness to a Bad Parent Sighting.

As we were leaving the baggage terminal of Seatac International Airport, we saw a mom, a grandma, and a little boy no more than three years old walk past us. The boy was doing nothing more than fooling around with a balloon – tugging at it, letting it go, re-catching it, and skipping a few feet ahead of the adults. His mother snapped, tore the balloon out of his hand, and kicked him hard in the ass. Not a love-tap, mind you – a forceful boot that almost sent him to the ground.

Being a pussy when it comes to confrontation, I was content to let it go and just write it up later. Not so my wife. She spun around, looked the mom in the eye, and said, “Hey! You don’t treat a child like that! That’s not right.” To our surprise, the grandma nodded furiously and said, “Yeah!” To our even greater surprise, the mom bowed her head and muttered, “Sorry.” Kim said she seemed genuinely chagrined by the experience.

Let that be a lesson to us all. Sometimes, speaking out against slappy parenting will earn you nothing but an insult and an admonition to “mind your own damn business”. But occasionally, you may end up changing the way someone treats their kid.

(That’s the brightest ray of sunshine you’ll find on this blog for a while, folks. Bask in it while you can.)

Got a bad parent sighting? Send it in!

Fucking crack dealers. Here you go to the trouble to set up a sting operation to catch one of these guys pushing their rock…and what happens? The bastard brings a baby to the deal. Thanks to frequent hot tipper Rebecca for sending in this video from Yahoo! News and the Associated Press which shows that Broward County, Florida police were less than thrilled that their suspect showed up with his kid. Deeming it too dangerous to move in with guns blazing with a tot around, police had no choice but to let their perp walk.

Police say they want to find this guy so they can check on the kid, and make sure he’s safe and well cared for. And, oh yeah, throw his dad’s ass in the slammer. Personally, I think everyone should go easy on this guy. Come on, parents, you know how it is. You’re rushing out the door, trying to get to an important drug deal – and at the last possible minute, your babysitter cancels. What’s a drug-running dad supposed to do – leave the baby by himself?! Besides, if the deal went bad, how would dad ever manage to escape without a human shield?

See, this is why he’s the drug dealer, and you’re not. He’s willing to make these hard decisions.

Okay, official announcement: I hereby forgive Lindsay Lohan for anything she’s ever done or may ever do. (Unoless she does something unforgivable, like go on a psychopathic killing spree, or make a sequel to Herbie: Fully Loaded.) I mean, I knew Michael Lohan was a fucked-up hunk o’ beetle-turds, but if this report is true, it takes "fucked-up" to new and astonishing levels. According to an anonymous inmate at the prison where Senor Lohan is being detained, the father figure does nothing but brag about himself, his fortune, and his sexual exploits. Among those exploits: banging his own daughter’s stunt double.

Eeeeeeewwwww. I mean, okay, it’s not like this woman was Lindsay’s body double, but…EEEEEWWWWWWW. "Close" doesn’t just count in horseshoes and hand grenades – it counts toward fucking anyone who even has a vague resemblance to one of your offspring.

The New Kerala of India sources the report back to the New York Daily News. The NYDN’s report is here (scroll down for La Vida Lohan); it’s freely available now, but will likely become gated, pay-per-view content shortly. The letter was reportedly "kited" out of the facility on foot in order to avoid scrutiny by prison officials, who are apparently rabid Michael Lohan fans hellbent on preserving the man’s dignity. (*snort*) The anonymous writer delivered a final knee to dad’s balls by claiming that Mr. Lohan never even chats about his sons – it’s all Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. (Again, say it with me….EEEEEWWWW.) In light of this, Lindsay’s recent public behavior seems downright trite and…well, expected. What kind of child grows up with that as an influence, and turns out normal?

Jesus fucking Christmas CHRIST!! What is UP with you fucked-up parents and your attempts at forced abortion?! It wasn’t bad enough, apparently, that a Maine couple attempted to abduct their 19-year-old and drag her into an abortion clinic against her will. Nooooo. 44-year-old Rozelletta B. Blackshire of Columbus, Georgia had to go this one better by attempting to kill her 16-year-old daughter’s baby through oral injection of turpentine. The teen’s cousins, Shonda Y. Blackshire and Monica M. Johnson – both in their mid-20s, more than old enough to decide on their own that Mama Blackshire was a stark raving psychopath – decided to force-feed the poison to the girl after she was reportedly raped.

That’s exactly what a teen needs after being assaulted by a stranger or acquaintance: to be assaulted by her own family.

The good news: the teen doesn’t appear to have been irreparably harmed by the second assault (at least, physically). And there is no medical evidence that drinking turpentine can induce abortion. Indeed, if this brain trust had done even a smattering of research, they would have discovered that women have attempted to use turpentine as an abortive agent…by douching with it, or administering it via intrauterine injection. The usual result? The death of the baby. And the mom.

I need a drink. Actually, just give me a bottle of Everclear and come scoop me off the sidewalk in the morning.

It’s videos like this that make me lose all hope for the world. Ex-Christian.Net is hosting a scary, scary clip in which a Muslim woman "interviews" a three-year-old named Basmallah.  Asked whether or not she likes Jews, Basmallah says "No". When asked why, she responds with "Because" – a typical three-year-old’s reply, which is both tender and heartbreaking given what she’s going to say next. When the interviewer presses her by asking, "Because they are what?", the girl replies after only a moment’s hesitation: "They are apes and pigs."

The girl is then prompted to recite a story she’s been taught about how a Jewish woman attempted to poison Mohammed, but God resurrected the lamb he was about to eat and made Mohammed privvy to the Jewess’ wicked ways. Basmallah knows enough of this tale to know that Mohammed then vowed to kill his attempted poisoner. (Actually, according to many historians, the poison killed Mohammed three years later. But, hey – who needs facts when you have religion?) The broadcast ends with a chilling reminder about how important it is to teach this hate to all good little future bomb detonators.

To the parents of Basmallah, and any other parent who raises their child in this despicable manner: You think you’re being honorable and holy and serving your God. You’re not. You’re making God weep. If there is a Hell, please give the Devil my kind regards.

To the fundamentalist parents of America – whether Christian, Muslim, Branch Davidian, or what have you: Ask yourself how much of your own parenting is reflected in this.

(Note: The video is taken straight from Iqra TV in Saudi Arabia, and is made available to the English-speaking world through Memri TV. Memri also has a full transcript of the broadcast.)

The case of Molly Campbell is one of those where you know someone’s on the wrong side of their child’s best interests; it’s just not straightforward determining who that someone is. In this case, the nod appears to go to Molly Campbell’s father, And Sajad Rana, who stands accused in a Pakistani court of "abducting" his 12-year-old daughter from the remote Scottish island where she lived with her mother and taking her back to Lahore. Why did I scare-quote "abducting"? Because Molly Campbell looks perfectly content to be with her dad…and has nothing but contempt for her mother, Louise Campbell, of whom Molly says: "If she loves me she’ll let me stay here."

Louise Campbell, of course, counters that this is not in Molly’s best interests, and that Rana is a monster of a man who has "brainwashed" his daughter into preferring him to her mother. She also contends that Rana wants to force his daughter into an arranged Muslim marriage – a contention that Molly denies. Sorry, but mum lost me with the "brainwashing" charge. Whenever a parent accuses another of "brainwashing" their child, you’re almost certainly dealing with a case of sour grapes, involving a heavy denial of reality on the part of the accuser. Let it go, Ms. Campbell. You’ve obviously screwed the pooch on your relationship with your daughter; time and distance is obviously what she needs right now.

Apparently, in India, it’s still in vogue for some men to view their wives, not as human beings with rights, but as lumps of flesh with a plump purse attached. There’s no other way to explain the actions of Naveen Kumar of New Delhi, who beat his pregnant wife Poonam to death when he was unsatisified with the dowry he netted. Kumar, of course, didn’t mean to kill the woman and his four-months-gestating child; the woman’s condition simply "deteriorated" during the course of her punishment. Congratulations, Mr. Kumar: You are officially the Worst Father of the Week – and your child wasn’t even born yet. Quite an accomplishment. Let us know to which jail cell we ought to send your award.

It’s one thing to be down on your luck, and be forced to live out of a car because you can no longer afford cheap motels. It’s quite another thing to make your children live in the car with you, especially when they have a father and a stepmother with a roof over their head. But, man alive, it’s quite a third thing to slip your two kids some crack cocaine to help ease their worries. Hot tipper and loyal reader thodora sent along this twisted tale of an unnamed woman from Wichita, Kansas, who had her two kids carted away for failing to bathe them and pumping ‘em full of ramen noodles. (Isn’t forcing people to subsist on ramen noodles a Geneva violation?)

The kids are now in the custody of their father and stepmom, who apparently are neither feeding them ramen noodles nor rock cocaine. Authorities say that the kids appear to be doing fine, physically, but haven’t yet been told about mom’s attempt to turn them into crackwhores.

(Got a hot tip of your own? Send it in!) 

Hot tipper and good friend Genuine has sent me what may be the saddest, most disturbing story I’ve ever read. Savarin Dejesus of Harlem will have to live out the rest of her days knowing she’s responsible for her daughter Niah Ford’s death. What’s most disturbing, though, is how the tot died. DeJesus, who’s 18, went out for a night of underage drinking and partying. Up to this point, I can’t necessarily guilt her out. She’s a teen mom; she deserves to cut loose once in a while, no? But then she returned home. To sleep with her baby. While drunk.

Obviously, her potential for smothering the child while wasted is high. But that’s not what killed Niah. What killed Niah was the bucket he rmother vomited into before drifting off to sleep. Niah Ford fell into the bucket in the middle of the night…and drowned in her mother’s puke. Dejesus, of course, was too drunk to be aware that anything had happened until it was too late.

Pardon me, folks. I need to go shoot humankind in the head.