Mom Has Eight-Year-Old Daughter Spending the Night with a 47-Year-Old Man
For a year, Lora Lee Hansen-Beard, 41, of Boulder, Colorado, would leave her eight-year-old daughter every Saturday night with a 47-year-old man, Joseph Cardillo, 47.
If you read the story in the newspaper, you’ll see that Hanswen Beard was a complete and total nut. She is charged with two misdemeanor counts of child abuse for placing the girl in a life- or health-threatening situation.
That’s it? As usual, the Boulder DA is doing a great job…not.
Authorities found out about the abuse after the girl’s teachers reported that she often showed up late to school, unfed and wearing dirty clothes. Her teachers say that the girl cried all the time and was unable to focus on her work.
The girl told police that she and Cardillo slept naked in the same bed, would bathe together, and went in the hot tub naked.
Cardillo is charged with sexual assault. He’s accused of using a sex toy on the girl and drinking her urine. If convicted, he faces a possible life sentence in prison if convicted on charges of sex assault on a child by a person in position of trust and a pattern of assaulting the girl. He’s free on a $100,000 bond.
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January 30th, 2008 at 7:11 am
vpormise, you say:
Quote”If you really want to understand why people behave in such ways, you must read any of Arthur Janov’s books. He describes the relationship between early childhood trauma and later personality disturbances. If you’ll read, you’ll find everyone you’ve ever known described in detail…the certifiables as well as the statistically normal.”
Wellll….I dont’ really care about the poor wittle abuser’s early trauma. Poor poor criminals…I have more concern in seeing that they stop abusing, and that the child gets help. I have no compassion for child molesters, I wish they were all removed from the general population permanently. And I don’t give one rodent’s behind what brought them to be molesters.
I have very little compassion for child abusers but being an abuser depends on what is considered abuse. Some people whip kids because they don’t know any better, but are eager to learn other methods of discipline.
I do have this to say about your post, too, you sure are verbose and boring, and absolutely more concerned with the molester/abusers in this case than the child.
January 30th, 2008 at 9:56 am
jaleja – Amen to that.
I’m still wondering how screwed up my C-section birth will make my son. Will he grow up to be the next Jack the Ripper??? Bull shi*t!!
Does anyone else think that vpromise is Carys?? Long, boring, preachy and liberal??? These are the people I think should house one of these child molesting assholes and see how dandy it is to have them hanging out with there kids. save us some tax money and let this prick live in your home. PLEASE! Let me know how that works out for you.
January 30th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
April RJ, gosh, maybe because of being birthed by a scalpel, your son might be the next Jack the Ripper?? *gasp* Maybe in some people’s twisted little logic, that might happen. vpromise for example. And, yes, now that you mention, the post was very reminiscent of Carys’s style.
I just hope this little girl is put in with people who will care for her properly as a LITTLE GIRL, not as a bed companion. Her mom and her mom’s friend need to do some time. It doesn’t sound like Mom or her friend are the type of people who would respond to counseling or therapy.
January 30th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
jaleja – Okay. Now that I have stopped laughing myself stupid… I’m glad you remember who I was talking about. Hmmmmm?!?!?
I hope that this little girl is with people that make her feel safe and teach her that what happened to her is NOT her fault. She needs to know that hugging and kissing (like normal 8 year olds should recieve) should not make her feel strange or frightened. She should also know that her mother is a CRAZY and that does not mean that she is a bad girl. I think I read that she was placed with her grandparents. I hope they have more sense than Mommy Dearest…
January 30th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
In response to vpromise’s post:
I suppose I should have demanded that my daughter be born vaginally – and refused admittance to the NICU for her 7wk hospital stay in order to preserve her psyche. And when asked WHY I would do such a thing with a 2lb baby, I should have said that I was protecting her from becoming the next deranged serial killer.
No, the hospital must NOT have had her best interest in mind… and I must be a horrible parent for wanting her to like, grow and eat and stuff.
Oh, and as an adopted child who lived in orphanages and foster homes in KOREA, mind you, I suppose I should watch for warning signs in myself, right?
Of course you’re right, you’ve read some literature on it…
January 30th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
mom2tbet – Your baby and my son can go on a crime spree. PERFECT!! They can start by slaughtering an entire maternity ward and murder all ofthe perfect vaginally delivered babies that sleep in next to their mommies in the delivery room. Oh, BTW – My son was not breastfed so he will most likely be the ringleader of all things evil. poor little mistreated, non-breatfed boy who’s mommy didn’t love him enough to push him through an unwilling birth canal possibly to his death.
January 30th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Also, when he was an infant, I changed my clothes with him in the room. I’m also a working mother and he has to go to (pardon the bad word) DAYCARE!!!! Oh, Hell. I think an exorcist is in order……. I have given birth to possibly the…DEVIL???!!! I should have know that he wasn’t normal when I couldn’t get him to drink juice. Little milk drinking freak!
January 30th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
April, I believe that vpromise is Carys. It’s the same liberal bullshit she was always spewing- anything to start some crap, you know. People like her get a rise out of it for some reason.
BTW, my son was taken emergency C-section. Without it he would have died. He almost did anyway so Vpromise (CArys) you can take your ridiculousness someplace else.
January 30th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
April RJ:
Bonnie and Clyde: The Next Generation, eh?
I must have fallen victim of a money-hungry hospital and staff. What I witnessed as concerned, caring individuals trying to give my tiny baby a fighting chance at life MUST be apathetic, psyche-damaging scrooges who saw my daughter as a huge dollar sign.
On a serious note, I cannot relay how much vpromise’s post offended me. Overly generalized and collective statements are annoying enough, but those sprinkled with contemptuous undertones incense me!
January 30th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
mom2tbet, that’s the reason she does this is to offend. It’s something that she gets off on. She’s really hard to ignore because her ideas don’t make any sense. She tries desperately to prove to everyone that she’s superior but really she’s just pathetic. I think it’s Carys too because the writing style is the same.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:58 am
rockdoll_71 and mom2tbet,
HEY HEY!! Don’t leave my three out. Caoleb and Caoilainn were both c-secetions. Caoilainn was a PLANNED c-section. Not to mention my new little man will be a c-section. So I have a rapist, murderer, and a drug dealer. I suppose you can blame Caoleb though. He is completley his fault that he had a 20 inch head. Damn him I say. He is to blame for all of the horrible things in the world.
Vpromise,
“And how come you act like you haven’t heard that the people who do these sorts of things are usually the ones to whom awful things have been done in their own childhoods? Don’t you know they need to heal?”
I had a boyfriend who raped me…..so does that mean I am going to rape someone? THEY NEED TIME TO HEAL?? Sure IN THREAPHY!! Not molesting and hurting others. Now this little girl is going to need time to heal!!
January 31st, 2008 at 4:26 am
Folks, we should be THANKING vpromise for opening our eyes. *GASP* At the ripe old age of 40, I somehow thought all functioning adults were responsible for their own actions. Now, thanks to vpromise’s insightful revelations, I realize NOTHING IS EVER MY FAULT!!! Any wrong thing I do is actually the fault/responsibility of the person who did something wrong to me when I was a child, even if I was a tiny little infant who almost certainly doesn’t remember the wrong.
I just never realized that someone else’s bad behavior could justify my own!
Wow, do I feel liberated.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:30 am
Well, some of that is dead on accurate. Understanding how an abuser came to that point in their life is probably the most important aspect of the case, even more so than the child abused. By finding out what made the abusive parent act the way they did, it can be prevented in future generations and reduce the total number of abuses that take place.
“Wellll….I dont’ really care about the poor wittle abuser’s early trauma. Poor poor criminals…I have more concern in seeing that they stop abusing, and that the child gets help. I have no compassion for child molesters, I wish they were all removed from the general population permanently. And I don’t give one rodent’s behind what brought them to be molesters.”
You damn well should care what made them abusers. Knowing what put them into the position where they thought it was ok will do a lot more toward protecting a child than giving them therapy after they were abused, and no amount of therapy in the world can make a dead child come back to life.
All this about trauma induced by caesarean section is new to me, and i’m more up to date on psychological study than most. Yes i understand that a C-section or incubation can cause trauma, but you’re comparing emotional health to physical health. A dead baby without a psychological blemish isn’t quite the same as a live one with an early childhood trauma, and no individual trauma ever made a person into some slavering inhuman monster. That’s not how the human mind works. A rape victim doesn’t become a rapist from one incident. It takes years to head down that path, and everything from the initial rape, the time frame before help was received, whether the person was caught, the type of help received, and how the person faces adversity are factors in determining their future behavior.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:28 am
Yoshi – I understand your point but I don’t care what makes an abuser abusive. These people know right from wrong. If they feel urges that could harm an innocent child, they need to address them in therapy before it goes to far. I LOVE wine. We have wine night once a week with the girls. I don’t drink it the rest of the week. I may drink a little excess and wake up with a headache (FYI organic wine helps with the headache), but I walk home (don’t drive) and I don’t beat my kid and husband when I get home. The minute I feel like I LOVE it too much, I will take steps to make sure I don’t hurt anyone. I don’t have compassion for these child molesters. I don’t want them let out of jail and put them in therapy – I want them locked the Hell up and kept away from children.
Anyhow, none of that matters now. I need to focus on getting my C-sectioend, non-breastfed, deviant into therapy before he goes on a crime spree. He’s already 7, it could be days before he steals the car and robs an old lady, rapes her, kills her and dumps the body off of the Redondo Beach Pier…
January 31st, 2008 at 9:31 am
Can someone PLEASE explain to me how C-section birth is anymore traumatic than a vaginal birth? Call me a dummy, but do the babies KNOW the difference. Was a C-section baby born vaginally in a past life and they REMEMBER??? I’m so confused…
January 31st, 2008 at 9:38 am
Anesthesia, medications, increased risk of infection, severe spikes and drops in blood pressure and blood chemical composition, and extremely high levels of anxiety and stress, all passed on from the mom to the baby because they’re still attached. All of this induces psychological, developmental, and physical traumas on the child, but as i said earlier, it’s not extensive trauma and it’s certainly an isolated incident, not the recurring trauma required to warp someone’s development permanently. Also when compared to a risky vaginal delivery or emergency situation endangering the health of the baby, it’s a no-brainer to go for the caesarian.
The incubation process is traumatic as well, it instills the same feelings of alienation and distances the newborn from human interaction, but on the same page it’s only done when necessary, so again baby’s life versus minor psychological trauma. No-brainer.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:12 am
May I also point out that all these traumas allegedly associated with c-section births occur at a developmental stage when the infant’s brain is physically incapable of recording memories?
Yoshi’s right – there’s a BIG difference between a dead, non-traumatized baby and a live, once-traumatized one. Especially when the living baby isn’t going to remember the trauma anyway, but the trauma of losing a baby will haunt the parents forever.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:22 am
Its comments/opinions like vpromise that are so dangerous. She never stated that there are exceptions to the rule – that there ARE times when you go with the lesser of two evils. No, she made broad, generic comments. And there will be people who read her comments, that are laced with verbiage and other poppycock, and because it sounds intelligent, they will believe her.
I’ve known someone who fed into the notion that c-sections were so incredibly evil and self-serving for the health industry that she refused one when her daughter was breech. Y’know what? Her baby died.
I’m just hoping that people will have common sense and realize that trauma, of any sort, during early childhood does NOT automatically determine your child’s lot in life.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:34 am
That’s not to say it shouldn’t be avoided unless necessary though. People who schedule a caesarian because it’s convenient for the mother are exactly what is wrong with humanity as a whole. No matter what is designed or invented, procedure, medicine, group, or system, people will ruin it no matter what the original intentions are.
The caesarian was designed and refined into an organized procedure to be used in emergency situations, later accepted as an alternative to vaginal delivery when risks presented themselves. Now it’s been adopted as a quick fix for everything from recovery time to convenience. I’ve heard the joke about the father in the delivery room asking the OB to “throw an extra stitch in there” to express how boorish men can be, but women have been known to get a caesarian for the same reason. It doesn’t seem to matter that the mandatory hospital stay time is a few days long for a C-section than a vaginal delivery, because the overall recovery time is shorter. It was a good idea, formed with the best of intentions, that has devolved into a quick fix in a fast food society.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Yoshi – agreed. C-sections should only be done when really medically necessary. I have a friend whose doctor told her she needed to have one with her first baby because the cord was wrapped around his neck. Funny, when that happened with my son, the doctor just reached in, unlooped the cord and popped him out the old-fashioned way. This same friend was told with her second child that a v-bac (vaginal delivery after a c-section) was out of the question, despite the fact that my friend was in great shape, her baby was completely healthy and her original c-section had healed really well. In both cases, it’s likely the c-sections were done for the doctor’s convenience, rather than the health of the baby or mother.
Consequently, my friend, who would like to have more kids, now MUST have c-sections if she wants to do it again. And the recovery time will be harder with each subsequent one.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Some doctors will guess as to if a woman needs a c-sec according to the size of her hips and demonstrated flexibility. It’s automatically assumed (if a woman is very petite or of slight frame) that the c-sec is better than allowing her to labor for 10 hours and perform and emergency c-section anyway. Personally, I’ve noticed that the age of the doctor seems to also affect the view of c-sections. Younger doctors tend to lean towards more natural births, as do very old doctors.
April RJ wrote:”Call me a dummy, but do the babies KNOW the difference. Was a C-section baby born vaginally in a past life and they REMEMBER???”
I don’t think you have to worry. My kids were both born vaginally (one a home-birth even) and breast fed and they are still weird little kids.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:23 pm
wendy – Ha-ha! Thank you for the laugh. my son is a crack up. Her really does hate juice and soda. He loves crab legs and veggies… Talk about a weird kid!! But I love him!
Anyhow, on the C-section topic. I was told that I HAD to try to deliver my son vaginally for insurance reasons. I went a week past my due date – I was in labor for 17 hours and my doctor told me that my dialation stopped at 7cm. At that point, they decided to perform a C-section. My son was 9 pounds 6 ounces. A big baby but not HUGE. I have since changed my GYN and the new one told me that my pelvic bone was straight and narrow – not allowing for a vaginal delivery unless my baby was very small (less than 5 pounds). She went on to tell me that since my first born was so big, that I would most likely NEVER have a small baby unless premature and also that the other doc was a dummy for trying a vaginal delivery. She said that a vaginal delivery could have harmed me and my son. WOW!! I wish I had been told that 7 years ago!! A scheduled C-sec and missing 17 hours of labor seems so much easier.
January 31st, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Wendy, I have experienced the opposite end of the “size” judgment. Every doctor and nurse that saw me during my pregnancy predicted I’d need a c-section because I was obese. I guess they assumed that if I was fat I must have less stamina than a thin woman. Guess it never occured to them how much extra muscle tone I might have developed hefting around all that extra weight. I had a trouble-free vaginal delivery that amazed even my ob/gyn.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:31 pm
After 3 relatively smooth vaginal deliveries, I was blindsighted with my daughter’s birth. It was discovered through an ultrasound at 33wks that she had stopped growing around 27wks. My placenta and umbilical cord was showing about 10% blood flow and had already started to calcify. My OB was concerned that the trauma of a vaginal birth would kill her, considering she had virtually no nutrition/oxygen going to her. I was transported immediately to the hospital and had an emergency c-section. She was vented at birth and looked like a baby bird.
I have never thought twice about the decision to be sectioned with her. I am perturbed when people talk badly about c-sections in generalized terms, as it was to great benefit in our case. People are quick to say ‘Oh, I wasn’t referring to you….you had every reason blah blah blah’ but when you make blanket statements, you ARE talking about me and every other woman.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I had both of my children by c-section. Now that I am pregeant again a c-section is my only option. There was no way I would have been able to deliever my son without having ripped horribly. He had a 20 inch head. My daughter would have been an easy delivery but, 1 and 1/2 months before she was due I ran out of amniotic fluid and her umbilical cord was acutally wrapped up inside of one amniotic sack. I did not even have time to go to the restroom before he told me they had an OR ready for me and she would be here in 20 mins. I am also 100% positive that my doctor did not do it because it was eaiser for him to do. WIth both of my children he was on his way home. He could have very eaisly said “Well you are going to be in labor for a few hours so I am going home.” I would not say that my births were extreme emergencies. I will say that Caoleb could have suffocated or I could have bleed to death and Caoilainn would have starved to death if I did not deliever her the way I did.
As far as recovery I did very well. I was up and walking the day after and home the day after that. I have had plenty of people tell me that there is not a huge difference between a vaginal and c-section, as far as pain and being uncomfortable.
I honestly don’t care how babies come into this world. As long as they are happy, healthy, and screaming that is all that matters. Not to mention they won’t remember going through a c-section. I would also think that being bunched up in mommies belly would be more tramatic. Caoleb was almost 9 lbs, Caoilainn was a 7lb premie and Rauri was already 2 1/2 lbs when I was 6 months along. I am sure they are scrunched up in there like pigs in a blanket.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Ihavekidstoo– some doctors just do what they learned in med school and assume that all pregnancies outside of the norm are “high risk” obviously they aren’t (you’re proof of it.)
January 31st, 2008 at 9:07 pm
I don’t think that because a baby was born by C-section that they are going to become the next serial killer, come on, that is just ridiculous.
I do think it is sad that our national C-section rate has reached one in three births, though. That isn’t saying anything *bad* about C-sections; they are wonderful when they save a life, but one in three births? I think that’s a bit nuts. My heart goes out to the women who get them unnecessarily and then have to recover from major surgery with a newborn to care for.
I’ve had all vaginal births myself (so far); I’ve actually had three homebirths also (Wow, Wendy, you had one of those too? It’s nice to meet another one!) I’ve been blessed enough to have low-risk pregnancies where I could do that. My SIL has had two C-sections, one for a baby that wouldn’t fit and another for a previa (placenta covering the cervix).
And yes, like Wendy said, my kids are still “weird”, even though they weren’t born by C-section heh, heh!
They get that from their dad, though!
January 31st, 2008 at 9:50 pm
fourkidzmom– my daughter was impatient and when she wanted out, she wanted out NOW (after four years her patience hasn’t improved much) but the difference between home and the hospital was night and day, loved the home birth and if I were to have any more children I would (intentionally) do it again.
Frankly, anything that people do or don’t do there will be a bit of snobbery involved. Go check out a knitting list and you’ll see people who would rather die than touch acrylic yarn. The people who flick *stuff* for having a c-sec, or not breast feeding, or (goodness forbid!) not using 100% organic unbleached cotton diapers handwoven by indigenous peoples in the Andes are the ones who’ve lived such privileged lives that these things are able to be perceived as so important.
So long as mom and baby are happy and healthy who cares how the stork delivers?
1/3rd of all the births though? I didn’t know that– medical emergencies aside, I think that number proves that there are some doctors that want to make their timeshare payments or simply recommend a c-sec for any non-typical (but not necessarily risky) pregnancy to play CYA for the insurance company.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Fourkidsmom and loving mom, I agree with you. It’s ridiculous to believe that just because you have a C section your child is going to be deviant in some way. Anybody who believes that crap has got a screw loose. Also, mom2tbet was right on the money when she said what she did about being perturbed when people talk badly about C-sections in generalized terms, as it was to great benefit in our case. Let me tell you, for me, it sucked to recover from my C-section because it was so painful to get up and walk around. The catheter wasn’t so wonderful either. I was begging the doctor to release me early though. My son was in Brennars Children’s Hospital. After two days, I still had not got to hold him. He was so sick when he was born and the doc plainly told me that if he hadn’t been taken by emergency C- section, there was no way he would have survived. He only weighed four pounds. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen or circulation from me during his last week in the womb so I don’t care what anyone says, my doctor did the right thing.
February 1st, 2008 at 4:24 am
There’s no question c-sections save thousands of babies every year and they’ve been a great boon to humanity. There’s also no question that any good mom, faced with the choice between her baby’s safety and a longer recovery for herself is going to put her baby’s safety first. I applaud the women who selflessly make that decision, like rockdoll and lovingmom. And I agree with you all that it’s ridiculous to think that because a child was born by c-section he/she is going to grow up to be the next Ted Bundy.
I do, however, think the numbers show that a lot of doctors are pressuring frightened moms into unnecessary c-sections. Maybe it’s because the doctors are afraid of lawsuits if anything goes wrong with a vaginal birth and they feel more in control with a c-section. Maybe it’s just because they don’t want to deal with a lengthy labor because they might miss their t-time later that day.
And some women really are opting for c-sections as a matter of convenience. I worked for a woman who did that. Both her kids were born by c-section because she was a very busy working mother and it was just more convenient for her to schedule it. It’s those ones that I object to, when the mom’s convenience or the doctor’s convenience takes precedence over what nature has planned for the baby.
I had a vaginal birth, but it was induced. Because I was so “high risk” my doctor didn’t want me going a day past my due date. Dire predictions included that I would run out of ammniotic fluid, the baby would grow too big for me (PLEASE! Did she take a look at the width of my hips? I could pass a watermelon comfortably, thank you very much.), I’d develop diabetes, yadda, yadda, yadda. If I’d been a younger first-time mom, I might have gone along with their knee-jerk reaction that I’d need a c-section too.
As it was, after delivering my perfectly healthy, normal sized son, the doctor admitted to me that he could have been left to “bake” and come out on his own time and would have been just fine.
And I can also attest to the fact that my vaginally born son can be totally weird and downright evil too! So that has nothing to do with c-section versus vaginal birth for sure!
February 1st, 2008 at 9:19 am
Oh, I here you, Wendy. I think people tend to go crazy about really stupid things. I remember before I had my children I knew how everyone else should raise theirs @@ I must have been a really irritating person to be around. I don’t know, now that I am 29 years old and I’ve had four, soon to be five, I’m more of the live-and-let-live mindset, as long as it isn’t bothering my family, who cares about what someone else does with theirs, kind of thing (unless it involves abuse and neglect like the parents on this site of course). Every family is different; every CHILD is different, it doesn’t matter what you do with your children, someone is going to gripe about it anyways and complain that it’s “wrong” so you might as well please yourself and do what you know is right for your child and your situation.
It goes the other way, too. People might get crap for their C-sections, but believe me, if you go the other direction, you get the snarky remarks and teasing from other moms. I’ve had all natural births without drugs and I’ve always used midwives instead of doctors and people have a lot to say about that, too! I hear all the time “You don’t get a medal for a natural birth; why would you torture yourself, using midwives is selfish and negligent and about mom needing to be “one with mother earth” so get a “real doctor”. Oh, I could go on and on and on. I’ve had people compare my births at home with midwives to squatting on dirt in the woods like I’m some animal, it NEVER ends@@. I mean, if someone has a completely elective C-section at the hospital like that co-worker that ihavekidstoo has (which I don’t completely agree with either, but hey, it’s a free country and if they want to pay for it, that’s their right, I guess) or if someone has their baby in the living room in a blow-up fishy pool with a midwife and three generations looking on, then what business is it of mine?
February 1st, 2008 at 9:24 am
HA!! All I can picture now is a bunch of Cabage Patch Kids terrorizing people with home made weapons…. Too funny. I think instead of worring about the C-section issue – We should all be worried what the Rugrats are teaching our children. I would bet that Angelica was a C-section baby…
February 1st, 2008 at 10:12 am
“I would bet that Angelica was a C-section baby…”
Do the Rugrats even HAVE parents? I mean, seriously, those kids run around in diapers all day out in the yard with no supervision. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were ALL hatched from eggs.
February 1st, 2008 at 11:25 am
fourkidzmom – HA! I know that Chucky has a Dad and his mother died. I think at some point he got a Step-Mommy (from China or something). Angelica has a Dad, I’m sure… This morning he bought her a new doll because her other one got ruined in the dirt, dog ate it or something. All I know is that little bitch calls everyone stupid and dumb and I have yet to see her prove that she is any less stupid or dumb than those other kids.
February 1st, 2008 at 1:08 pm
LOL fourkidzmom, I think there’s something in us that knows everything just up until we have our own kids– then it’s all erased. I was probably just as irritating (maybe worse, I still do other people’s dishes if they are piled up in the sink, and clean their fridges– and I’m not even a neat freak!)
You’ve obviously not hit upon a group of extreme “autonomous birthers” yet– they are even worse than the ones that insist you need drs and drugs (my friends by the way asked “What? Couldn’t you find a coupon for the delivery room?”) and insist that only “true mothers” go out into the wild (or a room) and give birth on their own to create an uninterrupted mother/child bond. Yup, I screwed up the bond by allowing the husband in the room due to my selfish desire for comfort. Gack! We are demoted to “brood mares” when we allow a man in our sacred space.
When I was 15, a 17 year old friend (who was a little overweight and completely ignorant of pregnancy) delivered a lovely baby into a toilet (I suspect that she either was in denial of her pregnancy or in complete ignorance.) She fished him out and cleaned him up, and we worked on warming him up until the ambulance arrived. Honest to goodness he’s one of the smartest, sweetest nicest people you’d ever want to meet (he turns 19 this year– I feel old now.)
So how does he work into vpromise’s theory? It’s got to be traumatic to leave a warm womb and hit a cold toilet– perhaps more so than a c-section.
February 1st, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Wendy, I think I know the type of women you are talking about and yes, I have read some articles written by their ilk and they are nuttier than squirrels. I think you mean the ones who are so hardcore they don’t even do any prenatal care at all and when it is time for the birth they just go off all by themselves, not even your husband around.
The thing is, they ignore the fact that historically and around the world today, the human species does NOT typically give birth alone. Even in very primitive tribal cultures there are usually a few women who are birth attendants who learn how to deliver babies from the elder women of the tribe. I have never heard of an area of the world where the women typically go off all alone into the bushes and birth their babies.
I couldn’t imagine my dh not being at a birth; in fact, he is actually going to miss our upcoming baby’s birth and it makes me sad
This was a TOTALLY unplanned pregnancy and he will be on deployment at the time the baby is born. We timed our other four children around his deployments so he was there for all of their births. He even caught our babies himself with the midwife’s guidance; I know the whole catching the baby isn’t for every dad, but my dh isn’t squeamish and he really enjoyed catching our babies and handing them up to me. It bums me out that he won’t get to do that this time since it is like a tradition now!
February 1st, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Wendy – what a way to enter the world! But kudos to your friend for fishing him out, cleaning him up and becoming a real mom when the chips were down! So many other girls in the same boat would have tried to flush!
February 2nd, 2008 at 4:57 am
A comment on the rugrats!!
There is:
Tommy and Dill Pickles their parents are Stu and DiDi Pickels
Chuckie Finister and his dad Charles (Chazz) Finster. His mom passed away when he was very young and his dad remarried Kira and she had a daughter named Kimi.
Phil and Lil DeVille. They were twins. Their parents were Howard and Betty.
Angelica C. Pickels. She is an only child. Her parents are Charlotte and Drew Pickels.
Susie Charmichael. Here dad was Randy. She had a mom but, she was not not on the show a lot. She also had an older brother and sister who only appeared once or twice.
There were also several other characters. Grandparetns, aunts, uncles, people that only showed up once or twice.
Excuse me for the ranting I just LOVED rugrats when I was a kid
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February 2nd, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Ha-ha! That is way too much for me to know about the Rugrats. I do feel enlightened, though…. Thank you!