Woman gets life sentence for smothering 4-year-old
Mother sentenced to life for daughter’s slaying:
Tomika Cantu of Bexar County, Texas was sentenced recently to life without parole in the smothering death of her 4-year-old daughter. She had just recently given birth to another child and claims she was suffering from post partum deprerssion among other sob story defenses. The 4-year-old threw a tantrum because she couldn’t open her Christmas presents early so Cantu put a pillow over her head until she stopped moving.
Merry freakin’ Christmas.
Thanks to Stephanie for the tip.
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March 7th, 2009 at 4:12 am
this breaks my heart. I have a four year old, and let me tell you, she has fits. She had a fit tonight because we put up her new trampoline and she was up an hour past her bedtime playing on it, and she wasn’t ready for bed yet when we said it was time to come in. Oddly enough, we didn’t smother her. We took her up to bed and promised her she could be out on the trampoline bright and early the next morning. Weird, huh, how easy that was? I also am kind of on a roll tonight because my one year old keeps waking up crying, and it’s two in the morning, and as I was rocking her back to sleep, I kept wondering how anyone could harm such a precious little thing. I read this site too much. I am far from the perfect parent, and I’m not trying to make myself out to be June Cleaver…no way… but hoenstly… if you have children, love them, comfort them, don’t beat them, and for God’s sake, don’t kill them… holy crap. They’re a gift. I don’t know why I keep reading this site, it kills me. But it makes me really appreciate every hug I get from my girls.
March 8th, 2009 at 2:20 am
I remember being up at 4am for too-manyeth time in a row with my second daughter and just beside myself with anxiety, grief and frustration that this little demon wouldn’t stop screeching and that there was no escaping for me.
Around about the same time there was a guy in America about my age with a daughter about the same age, and he was sitting up with his daughter and he literally crushed her skull to death in his fist because he was so stressed out. He’d just gone past the limit of what he could cope with – and when he came to he found that he’d killed his girl with his bare hands.
It’s not ok – it’s just that this level of stress happens even to non-evil people. Getting so bad that you smother your kid is pretty bad – but sometimes it really is almost impossible to communicate to a little kid “I am waaaaay past my ability to cope with this situation and you need to stop squawking at me right now.”
Not condoning it. Just saying that in some of these cases it’s just as much a case of failure of support network to step in and say “You need my help” as it is failed parenting.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:17 am
I do not care how upset you get at your child. I am a mother of 3 (ages 5, almost 2, and 18 months) and sure, I get upset sometimes, but I never think about hurting my child. Even if you don’t think you are going to hurt your child you should step out of the situation for a moment. It is not gonna kill your child to cry in their room for a few moments as you regain your thought process, especially if you are that frustrated! They are kids… they throw temper tantrums… every single one of us was that ago once and threw them… and GUESS WHAT! Our parents did not decide to smother us! If you get that stressed out with your kids… please seek help so this does not happen! KateRo… I agree with you… I read into this site way too much and it breaks my heart but it makes me appreciate my children more and more. It makes me realize how complete and happy they make my life!
March 8th, 2009 at 6:18 am
Sorry, my middle child is almost 3… she is currently 2
March 8th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I have a newborn, and I know what Brent means. You all know what he means. Just most of us have someone to hand the kid off to while we shower, take a nap, go for a walk…while we calm down and gather our thoughts. I never took his post as condoning or excusing the behavior.
March 11th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
It’s not possible to be fully informed from the brief blurb posted, so I’m not going to express any opinion as to the guilt of the mother in this case, but I think the out of hand dismissal of post-partum depression as a “sob story” defense is reprehensible.
True post-partum depression is a very real and devestating condition. My sister experienced post-partum depression so severe she was committed to psychiatric care for several weeks. Fortunately, she never did anything to harm her children, and with the help of a loving husband and family, she was able to recover and lead a perfectly normal life as a loving mother. The sad fact is that not every sufferer is as fortunate.
March 12th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Well Neil, considering they just sentenced her that means she has been tried and found guilty. So since the courts have found her guilty and Im sure they took into account the post partum depression defense I think its OK to express opinions as to her guilt. So yeah I think that it was a sob story, something to try to get away with what she did. Otherwise we would be reading an article about a mom not being sentenced due to post partum depression. Just my opinion.
March 17th, 2009 at 5:05 am
I gotta say I agree with you Brent. I’m not saying I’m condoning hurting a child because you are over-stressed, but I am agreeing with you that it’s a definite fact that people who are not evil simply get stressed to a point where their ability to make a good decision is completely shot to pieces.
To me it seems like they either need to learn and internalize skills to cope with stress more effectively, or in our own communities we need to find ways to reduce the amount of stress parents face by inventing the means through which the amount of stress they face is reduced.
March 17th, 2009 at 5:48 am
I had this happen to me tonight.
I’ve had enormous stress at work, with a huge failure in my project and a demand that I formally apologise for my poor performance. I’ve just recieved a one paragraph rejection letter from a dream job that I stayed up to 3am writing my application for. Credit card debts. I’m frustrated in my relationship (it’s getting much better, but there’s frustration)…
…so tonight when the kids were in the bath and we overheard the oldest say “If you don’t give me the toy, I’ll bite you” bath time was over. I walked in, washed his face FOR him, grabbed him out of the bath and dried him off. He didn’t like this, so he ran around the house throwing things and screaming.
I finally had to literally chase him up the hall and grab him and hold him trying to subdue him enough to calm him down. I WANTED to smack him, but I don’t do that. So I just held his legs telling him that I have to hold onto him until he calms down enough to not throw things around the house.
He was writhing and screaming at me that he WON’T calm down. I found myself thinking “Right now I wish you hadn’t existed.” I didn’t feel any need to _hurt_ him, or anything. I mean, I could have just smacked him if I wanted him subdued.
But, having thought that, I didn’t then go to murder him with my bare hands. I was outside myself. I wasn’t coping. I wasn’t handling the situation. I wasn’t the parent that I wanted to be.
So I picked up, took him to his mother, and said “Can you please help him get dressed? I’m getting angry.” Then I went outside to look at the sunset and get some cool air.
March 17th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Brent…. I totally get it. My husband is in the Army and has deployed twice, and has at LEAST one more to go, and being home alone with two kids while your spouse is in a war… yeah, the stress can really wear you down. I had so many days where I was ready to just walk the hell out. I don’t hit my kids, and I have been making a very concentrated effort lately to not even yell at them. It’s hard. They’re one and four, and I swear, sometimes I think they’re hearing impaired. Except they can hear the word “popscicle” from half a mile away. I get that normal people can snap under pressure, but I can honestly say the thought of murdering or even beating my kids has never entered my mind. That said, there has been a day or two that I’ve almost wished I’d remained childless. That thought thankfully goes away quickly, because the good always outweighs the bad. They’re actually pretty good kids.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
brent, the difference is that you DIDNT harm your child. You did what was right, you knew you were getting angry and overwhelmed (we all go there sometimes) and you handed him off. Not all of us have sometime to hand them off to, I know that first hand. I have an 8 yr old and a soon to be 3 yr old and let me tell ya… they are spoiled rotten. They can be bad, they can annoy me, they can push every single button I have but ya know, even though I dont have anyone to give them to when I get angry, the fact that I love them so much keeps me from doing anything. It doesnt even cross my mind. And when they look at you and tell you they love you, it just makes it all worth it. I dont believe that people that kill their kids “just snap”. I just dont believe it.
April 14th, 2009 at 8:05 am
I have a three and a half year old you bet he throws fits, at least here in the house. Out in public he’s completely different, very subdued. What’s up with these people? Toddlers throw fits, it’s nothing new, folks! I could not ever allow my son to be hurt, by anyone . I’ll do my best to make sure he has a fair shot at life.
April 14th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
This breaks my heart — most 4 yo’s do want to open their presents early. Death by smothering takes awhile, and that little angel struggled and fought for her life all the while. It crushes my heart to think about her last moments — that little girl’s flailing and struggling should have snapped the mother out of her rage.