Foster parent charged with taping pacifier to baby’s mouth
Foster Mom Accused of Taping Pacifier To Baby’s Mouth:
9-month-old Curtis Williams was placed in the custody of foster mother Angela Dukes in Columbia, South Carolina when Curtis tested positive for marijuana. His biological mother was arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
However Dukes is charged in the death of Curtis after he died from asphyxiation from having a pacifier taped to his mouth. To make matters worse Dukes is a neonatal intensive care nurse so she above all people should have known better.
She sounds like just another foster parent who was in it for the money. I am not saying that all foster parents are like that but there are too many who are taking advantage of the system.
Thanks to Christina for the tip.
Sphere: Related Content
May 9th, 2009 at 11:55 am
my first thought on this article was “there goes another foster parent giving the rest of us decent ones a bad rap”. the more i thought about it, the more i realize that you can’t catagorize ALL foster parents as being a risk to children any more than you can say ALL birth parents are neglectful, abusive monsters that should be sterilized. there are the few foster parents who use extremely poor judgement or just outright neglect and abuse the children in their care. those would be the ones that are in it for the money and come out financially “on top” each month. then there are the majority of us foster parents who are usually a bit in the hole at the end of each month….because we take our positions seriously. we take the children who are societies most vulnerable into our homes and try to provide them with everything they were lacking in their birth homes. as a foster parent, you should beyond reproach. the children in our care should be cleaner than the average child…have more and better clothes than the average child…more toys…more food..excellent medical care…very clean living arrangements…exposed to a variety of outside the home experiences (softball/baseball/; dance and music lessons; gymnastics; etc. if things work out that they can return home…they take these life experiences with them, even if they are never again able to participate…for that one time period in their lives, they had it all.
foster children need and require more love and understanding and PATIENCE than other children. i could go on and on. any one on this site who’s a foster/adopt parent knows what i’m talking about. we don’t make money doing this….if we’re providing the way we should be.
i know on this one we’ll take alot of “foster parent bashing”. just for the record….i don’t think all of the birth parents out there are like the ones on this site…and not all foster parents let the charges die.
my heart goes out to the family of baby curtis. i wish he could have been placed with me.
May 9th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I was reading the article and thinking to myself, “Why not give the baby to someone who knows how to take care of babies?” Because of course no one educated in such an area would tape a pacifier into a baby’s mouth. Then I read more. Neo-natal nurse? WTF?
Also, I’m all for legalizing marijuana, despite this poor child’s dumbass mother’s poor judgment. Same as with alcohol or cigarettes, but even with that being said don’t smoke weed (or cigarettes for that matter) around your baby and certainly don’t smoke weed while you’re breastfeeding. I’d like to even know what prompted them to drug test the baby in the first place. She must have already been neglectful or something?
May 9th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
@skanky: i was wondering the same thing. if the baby had been removed at birth because mom and baby tested positive for anything…pot, cocaine, vicodin, xanex…anything like that, then yes remove the baby. the usual routine if a relative can’t for some reason have the baby placed with them, then the baby goes into foster placement while mom works on her program. the program is a good one…giving mom a chance to get things together and have a future with her baby. it usually involves parenting classes; home management; substance abuse program; random drug testing; obtain and maintain suitable housing and a stable job; and anything else the mom ask for or is court ordered to do.
i had many drug babies (i normally pick them up from the hospital). God has blessed me by making it possible for me to adopt several of them. there’s also a few of the parents who have kept in close touch with me after the child returned home. they email me pictures and updates and have always been gracious in extending visitation whenever i want. it always makes me feel better when i know the child’s safe and happy.
back to the topic though…i don’t quite understand if the baby was with her from birth or maybe had been returned and when she was tested it was positive? i know after a child returns home they do a 6 month or so follow up. i think maybe there’s a little more to the story as to the removal.
again, i agree with you as far as placing the baby with someone who has experience. this time (unless there had been prior problems, which there didn’t seem to be) what better placement for a child than with a neonatal nurse???? dca would have had no clue that something like this could have happened to that poor baby. you know, i would never have even THOUGHT of taping a binky or pacifier onto a baby’s mouth until i started reading these blogs. this isn’t the first time i’ve heard of an adult doing something like this. if it keeps falling out and the baby wants it, then hold them in your arms and gently, GENTLY, hold the pacifier in their mouth for them. but tape???
May 10th, 2009 at 12:17 am
This may not seem like a very good analogy, but isn’t taping a pacifier to a baby’s face to keep it from crying about on the same level as taping a ziplock baggie on your drunk friend’s face at a party to keep him from puking on the floor? What in the world could make anyone think something like that could possibly have a good outcome? Stupid people REALLY piss me off….
May 10th, 2009 at 3:38 am
MY DID TRENCH SHUT IT DOWN’
May 10th, 2009 at 3:40 am
WELL OK
May 10th, 2009 at 11:52 am
It seems that all too often the faoster homes are worse that leaving the kids with the bio parents. Sometimes fosters are only in it for the money.
May 10th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
HOW HORRIBLE. I LOOK AT MY 3 MONTH OLD AND CANNOT IMAGINE HIM ANYWHERE BUT IN MY ARMS. WE NEED BETTER FOSTER CARE I GRIEVE FOR THESE LITTLE ONES.
May 10th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
@ April:
Thanks for getting the other thread closed.
May 10th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Why are you even still here, Utah? You can’t defend your friends on this thread – it’s devoted to a different child. Now go away, please.
May 11th, 2009 at 12:05 am
@ Utah
I got the thread closed? No, your moron ass friend Jack ass j did a fine job of that. Besides, Trench didn’t say why he closed it. Doesn’t matter – I hate people who defend baby killers. If Trench doesn’t want me posting here, he will throw me off the site – or he can ask my not to post and I’ll pound sand. I have nothing but respect for the man.
May 11th, 2009 at 3:53 am
Many times, when I hear cases similar to this, I feel the caretaker maybe was extremely ignorant and didn’t know better. unfortunately, this cannot be the problem here..This foster “parent” was a nurse!!!!!!!!!Obviously this woman was heartless and in it for the money..Hopefull someone will tape her mouth shut in jail.
May 11th, 2009 at 11:34 am
@April
I was going to say the same thing to Utah (I read through the last comments), but I thought I would give you the pleasure. I wonder why Trench didn’t just ban Utah or JAJ. I guess he had his reasons. Maybe now Utah will go away, though…I hope so, anyway.
May 11th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Angel – Thank you! I didn’t realize that JAJ was a troll. Utah is clearly a family member or friend. JAJ was trying to start shit. I wouldn’t be shocked to learn that JAJ is one of them and was trying to get the page closed.
May 11th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I didn’t realize he was a troll, either, until his last string of messages. Most of his previous posts seemed reasonable enough….but, I guess you just never know, do you?
May 11th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
HA! I thought the same. But if you get right down to it, he must be one of them (defenders). And he didn’t show his true colors until the end. I don’t knoqw why he chose me to unleash on. No mater. Like I said, if I overstepped my boundries, Trench can shoot me an email a nd ask me not to post on this site. I have enough respect for him and the other posters here to walk away (even if I do love the site). It’s not about me, it’s about the kids. People that come here to defend often divert the attention where it doesn’t belong. All I did on the other thread was try to take the attention away from Sam. SHAME ON ME!!!
Anyhow, thanks for your support.
May 11th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Let me say that with more than 21 foster kids through my household that I have never taped a pacifier to anyone’s face. I have never struck a child. I have never refused to feed a child. I have often gone out and purchased necessities not covered by the initial clothing voucher (toothpaste, toothbrush, hair brush, other grooming essentials) only to have the kid go home the next day and never get the $$$ back.
I don’t do it for the $$$. I do it because there are too many people who think that children are punching bags, sex toys, useless objects, etc. No child should have to feel that way.
Now, unlike Karen… sometimes the kids don’t look that much better than normal kids. For example, the 6 y/o in my home refused to brush his hair this morning and insisted on wearing sandals and white socks. No matter how much I explained that he would look better with shoes and combed hair, he wouldn’t comply. And, he wore camouflage pants with a red and black spiderman t-shirt.
As a foster parent, you are required to provide $80-$100 a month in clothing. You have to give an allowance. You are expected to enroll them in some extra-curricular activities. You are expected to put together a “life” or scrapbook for them. If you follow the rules, the boarding care payment doesn’t provide much of a profit.
There are foster/adoptive parents who are awful. But there are far more who care. Same with birth parents.
May 11th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
I agree with you Kathy, I wish there was more publicity about the good foster parents out there. All the news ever reports on is the bad. As far as this story goes, I also read it on a nursing forum I go to. Im not a foster parent, but I am a parent and I am a nurse and this story made me so mad. What was she thinking?!?!? Well obviously she WASNT thinking. But geesh. She is a NICU nurse, she cant be hurting for money anyway so I dont see her doing it for the money, I think probably just a bad person period. Kind of makes you wonder what kind of things she has done to the babies she has taken care of at the hospital.
May 11th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
KAthy,
thank GOd for fosters like you. There are too many that take advantage. And it’s not just children. Sometimes it’s the elderly. It’s good to know that there are good people out there that love these unfortunate children. As if they weren’t given a shitty hand to begin with. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you had a great Mother’s Day.
May 11th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day! I havent actually gotten to be on here in a few days… I see I missed quite a bit!
May 11th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
http://www.thestate.com/154/story/696846.html
I found a better article turns out mom was smoking with bb in the room. The baby was only tested after he was discovered crying with mom in a hotel room. The marijuania smoke was so thick police suffered inhalation headache from the smoke. The baby also tested positive for Benadryl. maybe overdose of Uncle Bennydryl? Mom’s 3 year old tested positive for cocaine as well.
MY mother knocked my teeth out when I was 5 years old. Would beat me with coat hangers. OD’d on heroine when I was 13 years. Made me quit school to work and help pay bills. She was also charged with collecting child support on all of her children when they were in foster care. My dad got a refund check for over $1500. However, for the record I have nothing to do with any of them. It took me requesting removal from the home at 17 to be taken away. I was never removed b4 because her guilt was considered reason to leave me in the home.
I had 4 foster families in 10 months, 3 of which were worse than my family.
My husband and I are planning on becoming foster parents when I finish college. I hope that we protect a child from being placed in a foster home like this one. HOWEVER N THIS CASE EVERY1 FAILED THIS BB. JUST SICKENING.
May 11th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
JAJ – I don’t know Sam or where he is. I don’t want to know the LaPrairies. You should go back and read your posts. Of course I am offended.
May 11th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
@kathy:Now, unlike Karen… sometimes the kids don’t look that much better than normal kids. For example, the 6 y/o in my home refused to brush his hair this morning and insisted on wearing sandals and white socks. No matter how much I explained that he would look better with shoes and combed hair, he wouldn’t comply. And, he wore camouflage pants with a red and black spiderman t-shirt.
LMAO….mine aren’t perfect like that ALL the time. my one little boy (he’s almost 9 now) when he was 3 and in preschool, he insisted on wearing his incredible hulk costume to school, complete with the mask. you know how it goes kathy, we pick and choose our battles….he got to wear it. then he comes home with this little tone in his voice like it was MY idea that he wear it and says “ummmm mom? teacher says you don’t wear coustumes to school cept halloween”…lol….ok with me…let her be the bad guy…at least i said yes.
May 12th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Karen that story was precious; thanks for sharing it. It brought a picture to my mind of my own son in shorts & cowboy boots and a clashing shirt. LOL
Anyway, I want to say thank you to all the good foster parents out there; Karen, Kathy & any others. I believe that foster parenting is a full time job. I’d like to think that there are many more good experiences than bad; but good experiences don’t increase newspaper sales or court dates, so we hear about the bad.
Trench, are there any sites devoted to reporting GOOD stories about kids & parents? Or would they not get as much interest?
May 12th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Jen, I clicked on that article & read it.
The Benadryl was given by the FOSTER mother “for his congestion.” First, he might have been breathing differently from all the pot smoke he ingested; ya think? Second, I find it even more outrageously offensive that she taped the binky in if she thought he was congested! Gee, ya think he might have trouble breathing through his Nose?!?
I think what happened was; she got a call in the middle of the night, accepted the child & then realized she had a very cranky, upset baby to deal with & she wanted to go back to sleep. Thus, the Benadryl & paci were artificial soothers when he needed to be held & comforted; essentially- babied.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:35 am
@ karen & Kathy:
Foster kids aren’t the only ones who want to wear ’special’ clothes to school or elsewhere outside the house. My three girls who are still at home like to wear dresses and skirts….but they also loooove their boots. Even when the boots don’t match, or they have gotten ‘ratty’ from being worn so much.
My eight year old daughter has a pair of pink cowgirl boots that used to belong to her older sister (can you say old AND ratty?). She loves these boots, and wants to wear them constantly. When we went to the beach on vacation, she packed them and wore them with a green shorts outfit. She has also worn them to school with skorts, dresses, dress slacks, etc. Apparently she has not been made fun of at school for doing so, because she still likes to wear them at every opportunity. The few times I have tried to throw them out, she put up such a fuss that I decided not to press the issue.
My nine year old is another story. I have always picked out her clothes for her, because her choice in ‘outfits’ frequently makes her look like she goes wardrobe shopping out of local dumpsters. I don’t think she is color blind, because she draws the most beautiful and intricate pictures (with proper use of color), and she has a good eye for painting and watercolor, too. But she has come downstairs for school in some of the most outlandish outfits I have ever seen. Plaids with polka dots. Thin vertical stripe pants with wide horizontal stripe shirts. Bright pink with neon yellow. When I point out the problem, she usually will just shrug her shoulders and say ‘oh well’. Sometimes I let it go, but if it’s something really off-the-wall, I will make her go change.
I think all kids learn to express themselves by experimenting. We moms are just here to nix the REALLY bad ideas…..lol
May 13th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Angel your 9 year old sounds just like my 8 year old! My son (hes 3) does the cowboy boot thing. And he always wants to dress himself. So sometime his shoes end up on the wrong feet, or pants backwards but I just tell him… bubba your clothes are backwards and he changes them. Now day care is another story. He does it all himself there and there are days he comes home with his underwear inside out and backwards, along with his shorts, and his shoes and sometimes his shirt! But as they say… they are learning to do it themselves, so as long as its on its on!
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I am a former foster parent who was blessed with being able to adopt not one, but three babies from foster care. 2 f these babies were twins. The case worker working their case had taken 10 pages of complaints and things she had witnessed herself. One of which was the caseworker made a visit and found our baby girl with a pacifier tied around her neck and tied tight to stay in her mouth. This could have ended tragically like this. Not to mention the many times this biomom left these babies all alone in the apartment while she went out and partied or when she left them in a hot car so she could go visit a disabled relative. God was good to my twins and blessed us with these babies as well as our 1st adopted daughter. It is sad when you hear of any child being hurt or killed by someone wh is supposed to be caring for them. Esp when they are foster or adoptive parents who has been brought into these children;s lives because they were already in a bad situation before being removed.