Do You Like Pina Coladas?
The culprit
Nicole Gonzalez, 28, has been arrested for DUI – among other things. It seems that she decided a couple of drinks would be a good idea before driving her 10-year-old son home. After initially denying to the hospital staff and authorities that she had been drinking, she admitted to having consumed two pina coladas. Since I have been around people who were drinking before, and have observed their relative mathematical abilities, I would be willing to hazard that the two drinks she claimed to have had might actually have been a square root, or cube root figure instead. Just my guess, though.
In addition to having her 10-year-old in the car, she was also PREGNANT! Maybe it’s just me, but I think getting drunk while pregnant is probably just as bad an idea as driving while drunk – maybe worse. In addition to the danger the unborn baby was in from the accident, this selfish drunk also put her child at risk for FAS. For those readers who don’t know, FAS is birth defect caused by consuming alcohol while pregnant. It can range in severity from mild developmental delays to severe and debilitating physical and mental deficiencies.
In addition to the DUI charge, she was also driving with an already suspended or revoked license. The police, being thorough, tacked on an additional charge for that as well. Good job, guys! It seems that Nicole had plowed her auto into a fire hydrant – you know how those hydrants just LOVE to jump out into traffic! – and had also been seen swerving into oncoming traffic more than once.
After being taken to the hospital to be checked for injuries, she became abusive with the hospital staff. Wow! I would’ve never seen that one coming! Not a drunk who is abusive! She also made the comment that she hoped that she would have a miscarriage so that she could “sue everyone”, according to the report. What a great mom! Wishing for the death of your child so that you can receive monetary compensation. My head spins.
Thanks to Michelle for the tip, and you can thank Trench for the title.
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