Bad Breeders

Parenting so bad, it's criminal

Kudos to this mom!

I realize that the site is called “Bad Breeders”, and with good reason, but I really needed to post some happy news for a change.

There is *always* a safe option that everyone can live with.

Baby left with West Side firefighters
Teen Mom Leaves Baby at Firehouse
Teen leaves infant at firehouse: ‘She was overwhelmed’

“What’s so happy about a baby being left at a fire station?”, you ask?

Well, for one, this baby is alive. Second, this baby was well-cared-for prior to being brought to the fire station. And the mother, rather than harming her child when she became overwhelmed and felt she couldn’t handle any more, chose to find a local Safe Haven location to bring her baby to. She wanted to ensure that he would have a chance at life that she apparently felt she could no longer offer him.

There were other links to articles about this story that I chose not to include. One had a headline to the effect of “mother abandons infant”, which I felt was inappropriate and discouraging. To me, abandoning a child would be leaving them on the sidewalk, which happened not to long ago. Or dumping the child in a dumpster. Or worse. Not bringing them to a place set up to care for babies when their parents aren’t able. This woman didn’t abandon her child.

According to that last link up there, she felt overwhelmed. She didn’t seem to want to leave her baby, according to the firefighters that were present at the time, and she was visibly upset. She remained at the station with her baby, only leaving when an ambulance arrived to take her son to the hospital for a checkup (taking infants dropped off at any Safe Haven to the nearest hospital for a checkup is standard procedure). According to hospital personnel, the baby was in excellent condition. So this mother took good care of her baby, only choosing to bring him to a place she knew he’d continue to be well-cared-for when she felt she couldn’t.

I’m seriously in aw at the strength this must have taken, and I pray that this mother is able to get herself back into a position where she feels she can once again care for this child, because I don’t think anyone could do a better job at it than the woman who obviously loves him so much. And I hope that DCFS takes into account the fact that she did take such good care of him prior to bringing him to the Safe Haven location, and the fact that she did take him to a Safe Haven location, rather than allow him to come to harm in some way. I hope that they give him back to her when she is ready to care for him again.

We’ve all read stories here about mothers murdering their newborn babies, right out of the womb, mothers killing their babies to get out of the responsibility that was keeping them from their party-ho lifestyle, and even about one who sold her baby off to a perverted murderer to pay a drug debt, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseam. We all know that this could have turned out far, far worse for this child, had the mother not loved him enough to take such good care of him, and then to bring him to a place where people could continue to care for him when she felt she was no longer able. So I want to send a special message to that mother, in case she (or someone she knows) reads this:

Dear Overwhelmed Mother,
Thank you for taking such good care of your baby. Thank you for not harming him when you felt overwhelmed. Thank you for doing what you obviously felt was the responsible thing, what you felt was in the best interest of your child. I know you love your baby. I have faith that you can improve your situation (whatever that may be) to the point that you will be able to care for him again. Please don’t lose hope. Please seek whatever help it is that you need. Whoever you are, you are in my thoughts and prayers, as is your son.
Very sincerely, and with love,
~ Another (occasionally overwhelmed) Mother

While most Safe Haven Laws allow for only a 30 day post birth for their “no questions asked” policy, Law Enforcement is not seeking to press charges against this mother. What would be the point? She clearly took care of this child, clearly loved him, clearly put much thought into what she felt was in his best interest, and clearly put much time into preparing to bring him to the Safe Haven location. And I think that not pressing charges is the right call. My sincerest hope is that LE and DCFS will work with this mother and help her get to the point where she will feel she can once again care for her little one.

For more information about Safe Haven Laws:
National Safe Haven Alliance
Child Welfare Information Gateway
Please spread these links out, far and wide. Make sure that no one is ever able to use the excuse “I didn’t know about Safe Haven Laws.”

Thanks to the Lovely CynicalMe for this tip. It’s so nice to read about a parent doing something right for a change.

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  1. Like I said before, your voice was the perfect one for this!! 

  2. I love it, Dodia.  Thank you! 

    And special thanks to a mother who finally decided to do the right thing.

  3. Thanks for sharing this Dodia. Kudos to this mother for having the courage to do the right thing even though she clearly loved her child. To the mom if she finds us: hopes & prayers for luck, abundance and every thing good and bright for you dear so that you may retrieve your child. Blessings.

  4. Also Dodia…tried to register for your web site last night 3 times and never did get past the crazy word box. Have never had problems with those before on any other site so don’t know what’s up with that. Perhaps it has been a problem for others who gave up in frustration as I did?

    1. Spruz (the network platform) was supposed to delete all the inactive accounts by now, and they’ve lowered their max for free accounts to boot. I’m going to go in and remove the inactive members to make room for the newer folks to join. If you’ve got a facebook account, we’re on there, too. You’re email and such should be in there, so I’ll shoot you one to let you know it’s all set. 🙂

    2. Clevo, you should be able to join now. 🙂 Let me know if you have any problems.

  5. I can only imagine the thought and love this mother put into making the choice to leave her baby, and leave him in the safest possible way. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her son. This truly was an act of love.

  6. Very well put!!! Kudos to you for giving credit to her for knowing when it was best for her baby to be with someone else, and bringing him to a Safe Haven BEFORE things got too overwhelming. The letter you wrote was truly heartfelt.I hope the mother featured in this story reads it! God Bless you……..

  7. Good for you young lady for doing the right thing with your child. Its a great thing when you can set aside your needs and wants to see what would be in your childs best interest.

    I am in tears right now with how proud I am right now.

  8. And THESE thoughts are what this website represents! Not ONE nasty comment, when most ALL of us that read this site find comfort and INTEGRITY in a mother who PUTS HER CHILD first!!! This baby will certainly find love and acceptance in a woman that wanted the BEST for him, and was wise and loving enough to know that she couldn’t provide that!!! I wish ALL stories here at BB were as selfless! THANK YOU for a positive write up and “thata girl’s” for this unselfish Mom!!!

    1. <3 you Crystal.

      I wish all the stories at BB could be like that, too, but then it wouldn't be BB. It would be GB. 😉

  9. A little good news for once =)
    God bless this young mother and her son. I too am so very proud of her courage and maturity. I hope others learn from her selfless act and give up their children instead of the ugly alternatives.
    Thanks for the great post and touching letter. I hope it finds its way to her!!

    1. I am really proud of this young,teenage mom too.She made a responsible decision and that’s great!You should see my earlier post,as it details all that I feel about this story.

  10. Finally, someone who decided to do the right thing!  After reading about babies being beaten, killed, sold and stuff, I’m glad there’s still one person who cares enough about her baby to leave him at a Save Haven.

  11. I wish there were more messages out there about Safe Haven Laws, more Public Service Announcements.  I actually (dork) wrote a letter to MTV after Tyler Dasher was killed and begged them to put a message about Safe Havens on after “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom”…they put up a message about how “pregnancy is 100% preventable” and a hotline number to call with questions.  I don’t think it would be unreasonable to also put up an ad about Safe Haven Laws.  Of COURSE, have heard nothing from them, though I have sent the message to them multiple times and included plenty of pictures of Tyler to melt their evil, corporate hearts.

    This is a happy story.  Finally, an unselfish, caring mother!  I cannot imagine the pain of giving up a baby that you love…if it is the best thing for both of them, then I pray that they are reunited.

    1. I think it’s a great idea for them to put messages on after (and throughout) shows like those.  Maybe they’ll get the message.

  12. Bravo to this young mother for doing the right thing!!!  that had to have been the hardest thing she’s ever had to do, especially after bonding with him for six months.  this completely unselfish act of love almost restores my faith in humanity.

  13. Not everyone can be a mother. It is a super tough job at times and I can’t imagine doing it alone as a teenager!

    But she IS a mother and made the most important decision that only a true loving mother could make. It broke my heart for her to hear she was hesitant to leave him and how she so obviously cared for him these last 6 months!

  14. Good for this mom!!!  She did the right thing and should get the kudos!!!

  15.  Oh my God. I don’t have a maternal bone in my grizzled, cynical body and I’m in freaking tears right now.

    Even if baby was being taken care of by grandparents, even if the mom isn’t coming back for him ever, that decision took some serious big girl britches. I too am in awe.

  16. This had me in tears. As a mother of two girls, I can’t even imagine how hard of a decision that was for her. It is overwhelming at times, even at 28 years old. She did the best thing for her and her sweet boy. Thoughts and prayers to them. 🙁

    1. Ditto! (In more ways than one; I’m a 28yo mother of two girls too)
      For a teenager to be so courageous, and in her own way, selfless…. She is wise beyond her years. The majority of teens can’t look farther than a few days and consider what consequences their actions will bring.

  17. I think it is great that happy news,such as this one,gets posted on Bad Breeders.This allows us to have a break from reading terrible stories.This story set me thinking.The baby boy was 6 months old and his mom was only 19.His young,teenage mom felt that she was unable to cope with the demands of parenting.Instead of abusing or neglecting her son,she chose to give her son a better chance at life,when she dropped him off at the fire station.She was trying to put him up for adoption.I am glad to know that this teenage mom was making a responsible decision for her son.I am also glad that the baby boy is healthy.I hope he gets adopted into a loving family who will provide him with the family life he deserves. 

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