So this drunk bitch walks into a tattoo shop…
Stop me if you’ve heard this one. One little detail I failed to mention in my joke-opener is that she was pregnant too, which we all know is no fucking laughing matter.
Stephanie Irene Santana, 20, of Houston, TX walked into a tattoo shop to get a piercing this morning around 2:40am. While that seems like a bit of a weird time to get an itching for a new hole in your body, just wait. …. Stephanie was 7-months preggo and hammered to boot. She asked how long the wait was, because her baby was in the car. The folks at the tattoo shop refused service to her because of her inebriated state and promptly called the po-po on her ass after following her to her car because, “I could tell she was on something.”
When the police arrived, they found her passed out in the front seat of her running car sleeping off her buzz and her 1-year old baby girl in the passenger seat next to her. Unbelievable! When the cops searched her car, they found empty beer bottles and xanax in the diaper bag! The DIAPER BAG! Fuck me.
She was arrested on charges of driving while intoxicated, endangering a child, and possession of a controlled substance and was taken to the hospital to get checked out. Her little girl was placed in the care of child protective services.
Fucking irresponsible dolt. I sincerely hope that someone willing and able can care for those babies while she fucking shapes up. If there’s hope for her shaping up, that is.
Silver lining? No dead kids and that makes this a good fucking day.
Thanks to Venus and Samantha for the tips.