Zip-ties are a parent’s best friend…or maybe not.

Aussie Sabbath

Mesa woman Jaica Rowley accused of zip tying 11-year-old son to the backyard porch Read more: http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_southeast_valley/mesa/Mesa-woman-Jaica-Rowley-accused-of-zip-tying-11-year-old-son-to-the-backyard-porch#ixzz2JJpFM4FK

Mesa woman arrested after son found zip-tied to pole

Jaica_Rowley_20130125111113_JPG

Jaica Rowley

What to do with an out of control pre-teen? Some parents might say they need a good smack on the bum. Others might say take away the Xbox, PS3 or the Wii. Jaica Rowley would say use some zip-ties (or cable-ties) to exercise restraint and control. Which is exactly what she did.

A good-Samaritan neighbour rang authorities to report what sounded like a woman hitting a boy. When the cops arrived at the home in Mesa, Arizona, Jaica explained to them that her 11 year old son was out of control. She had errands to run, but the boy had been grounded and wasn’t allowed to leave the house. So she cable-tied her son’s hands and feet around the porch pole and left to pay a bill with her 2 year old in tow. She was angry at him because he’d left the house even though he’d been grounded! The boy complained that the zip-ties were too tight, so she’d cut them off and looped new ones onto him. In the process, she accidentally cut his finger with the scissors she was using. Police found the boy bleeding from a cut on his finger, as well as chafing from struggling against the zip ties.

Neighbours told police that Jaica was often heard yelling at her children on a weekly basis, and on one occasion was heard yelling at her son that she was going to kill him. The boy had been busted shoplifting and had left the house despite being grounded.

Jaica explained that “”It was I needed to make sure that he didn’t take off, because he knew he was in trouble for shoplifting, until I could get my 2-year-old out of the car seat and in to change her diaper and figure out what I was going to do, so that I could finish doing the errands or whatever that I needed to do prior to him being arrested,”

She has been arrested on suspicion of child abuse and unlawful imprisonment but has been released since. She is not allowed to come back to her house or see her kids. CPS has taken the kids into their custody.

Now I’m not interested in having children. I just don’t have that urge to reproduce. But I don’t know how I would cope with an unruly pre-teen. An 11 year old should not have run of the house or be allowed to come and go as he pleases. Grounding him didn’t work and he’s been busted for shoplifting which is more serious than just backchatting or not doing homework. I think this is just a mum who’s at the end of her rope and just needs to regroup and develop other ways of disciplining her kids. She didn’t kill them or seriously injure them, so I think maybe she just lost the plot.

 

I will get back to writing AU/NZ stories when some appear. It’s been quite harrowing over here because we’ve had ex-cyclone Oswald battering Queensland and the NSW coast. Floods, tornadoes, gusting winds etc. have been all over the news and luckily there’s been no child abuse reported anywhere. I promise I will find more Aussie/Kiwi stories soon <3 Aussie S.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 28th, 2013 at 8:37 pmand is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
  • kimbev69

    my thought is that this mom has not been the best parent ever to have had a child end up this bad at this age…and that ziptying him isn’t the first time…for all anyone knows she abused him or allowed a b/f to abuse him at some point….she could have taken him with her…maybe she’s so busy with the new baby she has pushed him to the side…

    • Steph

      And for all anyone knows this is the first time she has used the zip-ties and has never laid a hand in anger on him. “For all anyone knows” – Funny how that can go either way because the truth is we don’t know… YOU don’t know

      • kimbev69

        I know she zip tied his wrists and ankles oh and cut his finger with a scissor and left him alone that way! Take it from an abuse survivor kids end up like this for a reason, either he needs counseling for an undiagnosed issue or parenting and yes sometimes u just end up with a bad egg but if this is how she has dealt with him than i pu it on her

        • Steph

          But the fact still remains that you do not know whether this is how she dealt with him up until this point and yet you are ready to crucify her.

          • kimbev69

            Doesnt matter she tied up her kid

  • http://www.facebook.com/skyebrand Skye Brand

    I’m on the fence with this one. On one hand she has a kid who is out of control & likely to get into more trouble if something isn’t done to stop him but on the other hand she used cable ties, which were almost guaranteed to cut into him if he struggled (which she had to know he would).

    There’s not much support available for parents of kids with behaviour issues (not attached to special needs) so goodness only knows what this poor woman will do now to protect ones child from himself & the toddler from the older child or turning out like him.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    I will take this down, but it’s stimulating a lot of discussion which is good. I think it’s more of a bad parent sighting than a bad breeder moment.

    • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

      Leave it. If trench wants it taken down, he’ll let us know. I think she’s a moron and deserves to be here.

  • Buffettgirl

    This is the place where common sense and politically correct clash. In the 70′s my Mom did this kind of stuff. Well, I guess she didn’t use zip-ties to restrain us, but we got the belt, the hairbrush, the wooden spoon ect… We got locked in our rooms, had additional chores piled on when we were in trouble AND had routine visits from one of our local cops if she deemed what we did to be a big enough offense. Mind you, we were NOT out of control delinquents running rampant through suburbia. We were the GOOD kids! Mainly because we learned early that the consequences threatened were the consequences we encountered when we did fall off of the good behavior wagon. Fast forward and she raised three stable, (for he most part, I question this about my 2nd brother!) productive adults. Sadly, the oldest has mental issues, but they are hereditary and he was adopted, so that one hit us from out of the blue, but even he is a decent, kind, law abiding citizen. Maybe zip-ties are a little much, as Lucy said, what if there had been a fire? But I get why it happened, and I can’t fault the woman. I feel sorry for her…

    • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

      I feel sorry for her too, but I imagine there is more we aren’t seeing. Was the child picked up for stealing? Leave him in jail. Tell the police you can’t control him. There are programs in place (at least in CA) for little butthole punks. She had options. Zip ties weren’t one of them. I feel sorry for her having to deal with a punk of a kid, but what sort of mother is she? Did he learn this behavior from her? My son has crazy respect for me. He doesn’t talk back, doesn’t steal, he’s a good kid. I know I’m lucky, but this is more than luck. He knows not to fuck with me. I’m a sweet mother, but he knows sweet goes all to hell if he acts like a dick.

      • Buffettgirl

        My guess is this kid has had behavioral problems from the get go. I would also guess that the Mom is beyond exhausted and frustrated with the situation. Maybe now they will both get the help they need? I hope so, I hate seeing kids and feeling like they’re just future prison inmates or worse, headed for gangs and an early grave. I agree about the zip-ties, it was not the right choice, but after seeing how kids these days get away with bloody murder, I can see how it got to where it got. I love that your son knows to NOT fuck with you, that’s how my Mom did it too. The thing I remember the most was hearing my Mom hissing in my ear “You will NOT embarrass me or your family.” if I even looked like I might misbehave. Where did that sentiment go? It’s nice to see that you haven’t lost that! :-)

        • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

          If my kid gets mouthy, I give him a look. Then I say, “Look at my face! Do I make this face when I’m happy?” He will immediately apologize and straighten up. I love it. But I started this when he was little. I have NEVER had to lay a hand on him. He’s just full of awesomeness.

  • Minerva

    I agree with the others, I think she was at the end of her rope. There are no allegations of harm to her baby, just the one who likes to get arrested and ignore her. I mean really, as a parent, what can you do? My brother was like that, starting at 9. He would lie, steal, smoke, drugs, drink.

    At 11, even though he had been arrested twice they let him go. Cops won’t do more then write kids a ticket. He was put in rehab facilities, but again, after a week or two he was home back to his old ways. As a parent, you can’t hit him (that was a play of his, he would cry abuse when there wasn’t any just to get out of something), the cops won’t do anything, healthcare facilities let him out after two weeks or so of “therapy”. Also you can get in trouble for your child’s truancy, shoplifting, but yet you can’t do much because truly bad kids don’t follow or care about rules. Our hands are tied (no pun intended).

    • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

      I have a 12 year old. Believe me, I have pointed out these types of children to my son and given the scenario of what his life would be like if he were to behave like a common criminal. The door to his room would be removed, all of his furniture except his bed would be taken, he would be give a clear container to keep everything he was allowed to have in his room, he would be issued “uniforms” (i.e. white t-shirts, black pants, plain white tennis shoes – 7 of each except for the shoes / 1 for each day). He would be treated basically like an inmate. If he wants to act like a criminal, I’ll be happy to treat him like one. No more XBox. No more $150 Dr. Martins. No more $200 Skateboard. Nothing. Legally, as long as I provide basic care for him, I am not abusing him. Denying an asshole kid ANY privileges is not against the law. I spoil my kid. He never has to ask for ANYTHING. But he’s a good damn kid. He’s worth spoiling. I also remind him that because he’s good, I love to treat him to nice stuff. The bitch just needed to use her head. There are ways to deal with asshole kids that don’t involve zip ties. Seriously, imagine being a pre-teen and having to live with no privacy, no privileges, and being forced to wear boring clothes to school (like an inmate). You probably would straighten the fuck up. I know I would.

      • Minerva

        My parents did the same to my brother. Took away everything non essential to life. He would still walk out and taunt them. Hell, he’s 19 and still never worked more then a few days. He’s a parasite that lives off people. He plays their emotions and then uses that to his advantage. He would steal anything he could and sell it (got so bad I needed to put a lock on my door that only I had a key to, same with my parents who added a safe also.) One time I was in the shower, he came in to “ask me a question” and when I got out I found he stole $100 from out of my purse.(Unlike him I started working as soon as I could and it was my paycheck i just cashed). I’m not disagreeing that most would straighten out when treated like an inmate but some people are just bad and don’t care. I don’t know this kid was anything like that, but I know my brother wouldn’t care. Hell, after I was in an accident that left me in a coma and I came home he stole pain meds while “helping ” me get downstairs to do physical therapy. Some people don’t feel period.

        • Aussie Sabbath

          At 19, he’s ready to fend for himself. Your parents should boot him the fuck out and not give him a red cent of their money. Move house. Change the locks. Sometimes a family has to ditch a bad egg for their own sanity and safety. This boy still has time to turn himself around, though. A shakedown from CPS might just do the trick.

        • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

          That’s true. At 19, he’s no longer your parent’s problem. They need to stop letting him shit on them. Sadly, it sounds like he has a drug problem. I doubt that’s the case with this 11 year old. At 11, there may be some hope of turning him around.

          • Minerva

            True, but it has been as long as I can remember. Hell, I remember being very young (I was like 11 and he was 6) and he wanted something of mine and when I said no he said “Ok”, smiled, and then hit his arm on the door and started screaming and crying out to my mom that I hit him for no reason and then turned and smiled. That’s how it started and it got worse and worse. He’s been kicked out, but he always manages to get people to do things for him. Also the years of my parents sending him to behavioral rehabs, boot camps, etc. took a toll. My parents went to meetings with other parents, took time off to come into school with him every week too. (He was kicked out of regular school at 12 and was in a county program for “bad” kids).

            it’s not even like he’s “addicted” to drugs in the sense he does one drug and will do whatever it takes to get it. It’s more like he enjoys taking from people and just happens to use it to get drugs (anything from cough syrup to pills to street drugs).

            My only point was although its rare, there is that 1% of kids who don’t care and I’m sure she was just extremely frustrated. Also, compared to the other stories I read on here this one seems more an act of desperation opposed to maliciously harming out of evilness.

          • Lucy

            I don’t like when the term “sociopath” is tossed around for every person with bad behavior, but in this case it sounds like it might fit. Google “sociopath” and start reading. Also, the book “Snakes In Suits” is a good read on the subject. If this is the case, there was nothing your parents could have done, and nothing you can do now except protect the other family members. Even if it means cutting ties with the bad seed. At the very least it means sucking it up, setting firm and solid boundaries, and sticking to them. Even if that means getting the law involved.

            Anyway that sucks for your family and I wish the best for you.

        • http://sirkissa.wordpress.com/ Sirkissa

          That’s so fucking rude! Sorry that happened to you.

        • Buffettgirl

          I had one of those in my family too. She was my step-sister so it wasn’t as horrible I suppose, since it wasn’t blood, but still, this bitch had NO abiliy to feel anything for anyone but herself. My Mom fell rollerskating and shattered her wrists, making it so that she couldn’t drive her stick shift, she had to use the only automatic available at the time. Well step-sis, (she was just barely 17 at the time) despite the fact that her Daddy had JUST bought her a brand new truck, didn’t want to drive stick to the function she was going to and tried to take the automatic, knowing that Mom had a pre-surgery appt. to get to. Mom refused to hand over the keys and the brat shoved her to the ground (mind you BOTH wrists are shattered here), kicked her and then picked up the phone/answering maching combo and threw it, hitting Mom squarely on the left hand/wrist, which was of course the more badly shattered of the two… Ten plus years later, she still doesn’t understand why it was so horribly wrong of her to have done. The only thing she had to say was that my Mom was in the way of her doing what she wanted to do and that Mom should have known better than to cross her… Sadly, that is the mentality of a growing percentage of the population. At least it seems that way to me.

      • Artemis

        Awesome, April! A local middle school has a policy where, if a child offends at school, a parent MUST spend a day following the child around…everywhere. Class, halls, bathroom, lunchroom, PE…it works so well that there is a small fund to pay poor parents for the missed work day.

        Imagine being 13 and being followed around by your “mommy”.

        • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

          Omg! That’s awesome. I’ll use that if he ever messes up in school.

        • Buffettgirl

          One of the reasons I never acted up in school is that I KNEW my Mom would have done just this… She did it to one of my brothers. That was 1983 and it was still talked about when I graduated 5 years later!

  • Aussie Sabbath

    I get what everyone is saying about the zip-ties. I wouldn’t know what to do in that situation either and restraint (either physical or chemical) would cross my mind at least once. I will ask Mal. April or Trench whether this is suitable fodder, but considering the woman was charged with it (I do think the charges were unfair but I’m not a magistrate), it will have to stand. I’m hoping that this woman finds better ways to control her child, even if she has to take him for a stint in the local cop-shop to scare him straight. It wasn’t one of her finer moments as a parent thought.

    • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

      She was arrested. Leave it.

    • kimbev69

      you guys are all going on what “SHE SAYS” he is like…not on anything that is corroborated…and to put trust in a person that ties up there kids is scary…maybe he has been tied up his entire life…wouldn’t you act out? maybe he is adhd or autistic…should he be tied up

      • Buffettgirl

        You seem to be going on exactly the opposite of what she says… Maybe she’s telling the truth? Isn’t that possible? I’m not trying to pick a fight here, it’s just that you seem to be vehemently opposed to considering that this could be the whole story. It wasn’t smart of her, for sure, but was it evil? I don’t think so myself.

        • kimbev69

          Yes it was evil u are defending her again

          • Buffettgirl

            Actually, I wasn’t. I was pointing out that you only see one side of the coin… I’ve worked with emotional disturbed kids off and on for a long time, I see this as someone reaching their breaking point, not as someone intentionally abusing their child.

          • kimbev69

            Lets see i will go out and purchase zip ties cause i grounded him and cannot take him to run an important it cannot wait type of errand! I really hope you do not work with special needs kids

          • Buffettgirl

            I really hope with your narrow vision you don’t either work with or have kids. She didn’t run out to buy the zip-ties for just this occassion according to what I re-read in the article above. Maybe it was an errand that couldn’t wait? Maybe she was in the process of getting something turned off? Maybe that was adding to her stress level. As I said, I am NOT defending her. I’m saying there are things about this story that neither one of us knows and maybe we should wait to tar and feather her until we know more…

          • kimbev69

            well maybe she didn’t buy them that day but she bought them for that purpose…do you keep zip ties handy

          • Lucy

            Yes. They’re very useful.

          • Buffettgirl

            Yes – I keep them in my truck and my boyfriend carries them on his Harley and in his truck. Not to mention that we have them in a few places in the house too. In fact we used a bunch to separate and store the Christmas lights when we packed them up for the year. They’re quite handy to have around.

          • Jenny R.

            Yep! I use em for crafts, streamlining cables together, bundling stored objects, sealing cabinet latches shut for little used cabinets (much cheaper and non-damaging than screwing or nailing in a baby-safe latch, but just as effective), and even hair styling (a “pony-noose”).

  • Rachel

    It’s totally FINE if you don’t find anymore stories for us! I wish that this would stop, everywhere, around the world. Maybe the storms are wiping out all the Bad Breeders in Australia/NZ? We can hope, right? This mother didn’t harm her child, per se, but if the neighbors heard a lot of yelling and screaming there’s a deeper problem going on and she needs to get help before she really does end up becoming a Bad Breeder!

    • Lucy

      Yes, I hope the judge is reasonable here and agrees to let Mom off in exchange for some parenting classes. And maybe it’s actually a good thing that CPS is involved, because they can help the older child access the services he obviously needs.

      • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

        Let’s face it, she will get off easy. Even skanks who beat their kids to near death get off easy.

        • kimbev69

          i cannot believe the two above you are defending her actions…zip tying a kid because the mom says he’s trouble..makes me think she’s the problem…

  • Helen

    Does she really deserve to be listed here? I don’t really think what she did was so wrong. The kid was being a disrespectful punk, he’s bigger than her, and the cops told her she could restrain him. Would it have been more acceptable to just allow the kid to run off to hang out with his no-doubt punk ass friends so they could go get into more trouble? I think not. And sure, she cut his fingers with the scissors but it was an accident? Surely, no one has ever accidentally nicked their kid’s finger with nail clippers before, right? The chaffing on his wrists were his own fault. Just stand there and do your time, kid. Had she left him there for hours, then, yeah, she’d deserve to be on here but as it stands, definitely not bad-breeders material.

    • Aussie Sabbath

      She did leave him for a while – she went off to pay the bills. I’m hoping that she does get her kids back (at least the 3 year old) Maybe a stint in a strict foster home might scare the 11 year old!

      • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

        Children are a product of their environment. Just sayin’. Zip ties are not sold at Babies R Us, they come from Home Depot. She’s an asshole.

        • Lucy

          She’s not a gold medal mom, that’s for sure. I think it’s less that she’s intentionally an abusive bitch, and more that she lacks skills and is overwhelmed. Which is good news, because those things are fixable. She was probably raised by not-great parents and is just passing on what she learned. Only she ended up with a kid who isn’t easy and won’t be bullied into compliance, which seems to be the technique she is using. I often think that parenting education should be mandatory (yeah, imagine the political discussion on THAT one). So in this situation I think that the propper course of action is parenting education and counseling/anger management for her, some heavy duty counseling for him, and court/CPS supervision for the whole family. In a perfect world, that would be. But this isn’t that and we all know how often balls are dropped and kids fall through the cracks, so we’ll see.

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            Agreed. I don’t think she’s a wretched hag of a mother, but is painfully stupid. Parenting classes should be a must, but she also needs to think of a course to get that boy on the right track before it’s too late. Have you seen beyond scared straight? Best show EVER!!

          • Lucy

            Yes! I love it when the big, tough bullies (both sexes) cry like little girls!

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            We make my kid watch it. Tell you what, I would TOTALLY put him in that program if I thought he needed it. Like I said, I got lucky. He has never been a bad kid. Even as a toddler. I can’t even remember a single tantrum. He’s a pre-teen now, so we get the lip sometimes, but even that isn’t horrible. It’s the usual “Okay okay, I heard you the first time”… Um….. Did you just say that to me? Do you want to lose your Xbox for a week? That usually buttons him up quickly. I’m worried that he’s been so amazing this far that I might be in for it when he’s a teen. Gawd, I hope not! I kinda doubt it. This kid opens my car door and whe nI get home from work he runs out to the car to carry in my gym bag and purse. How many 12 year olds do you know that do that. He’s a super sweet kid. I guess I can think his dad for being an awesome influence.

          • Lucy

            Aw. He sounds like an awesome little guy!

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            I think he’s pretty awesome. Maybe that’s why I can’t get my head around the zip ties.

          • Steph

            Whether he can be scared straight is highly dependent on whether or not he has any emotional or mental disorders. My son has toured a juvenile facility, he has been admitted to impatient services… there is no scaring him straight because he does not have control over his emotions and reactions.

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            I’m sorry. I imagine it’s tough for you. But…. You don’t zip tie him. You know how to handle him, right?

          • Steph

            I have never zip tied him. I couldn’t imagine I ever would. There are certainly MUCH better ways to manage him however I am the first to admit to some creative parenting that some would likely frown upon… Example – I have kicked him out of my house before. – “This is your home but this is not your house. You do not pay the mortgage, I do. You do not pay the electric, or cable, or water. I do. You do not buy the groceries. I do. So while this is your home, this is MY house and in my house you must abide by my rules. If you are unwilling to do so, there is now a tent in the backyard. I have supplied you with plenty of bedding to be comfortable and warm. There are crackers and cans of food with a can opener, a spoon and a jug of water. There is a bucket that has been fashioned with a toilet seat for you to relieve yourself. Until you are able to live by the rules I have set in my house, you may not live in my house.” – All of his needs were provided for. He was warm, had plenty of food and water and had shelter provided for him on MY property under MY supervision. When you have a child like mine, taking away his XBox or putting him in a time out (ha… this isn’t even possible unless I literally hold him there) or grounding him from this, that or the other does not work…. Sometimes other options have to be thought of. – I also feel it necessary to mention that I have a bright, happy, well behaved five year old daughter – She has been raised with the same rules and in the same family as her older brother. She IS a product of her environment.

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            I agree. I think this woman did have other options. She is either stupid or lazy. Either way, she what she did was potentially dangerous.

          • Lucy

            OMG I just flashed back to my childhood. Not with the tent in the back yard, but with the ongoing room-cleaning argument:
            ME: “It’s MY ROOM!”
            DAD: “No, it’s MY room. My house, my mortgage, my room. I let you live in it. That can change at any time.”
            Good times, good times.

          • Steph

            But you cleaned your room, didn’t you? ;)

          • Lucy

            LOL, that day… But this discussion is timely because I was just upstairs cleaning my messy bedroom (only now it seems to be messy with other people’s crap – those are NOT my Polly Pockets I just stepped on!) I was thinking I should just keep going and get it done, and I actually said out loud “Nope. That’s enough for today. Which is fine because it really IS my room now, Dad!”

          • kimbev69

            so it’s ok to zip tie your kid cause you are a lousy friggen mom…i can’t even believe all the support on this article..for this mother

          • Lucy

            Where did you get that I said it was okay to zip tie the kid? In fact I said the exact OPPOSITE of that. I stand fully behind everything that I actually did say. This mother lacks the skills and knowledge to be a good parent, and it sounds like she is dealing with some anger issues as well. So you think sticking her in an overcrowded prison system at great taxpayer expense and dumping two children into an overburdened foster care system that will not have their best interests at heart (there’s a thread on the home page all about that) also at great taxpayer expense is the best way to handle this situation? Do you think the older boy’s behavior will be improved by bouncing around in foster care for a few years? Do you imagine mom will leave prison with newfound parenting skills? Will the parent-child bond benefit from that separation?

            The best way to handle this situation is with education, support, counseling, and supervision for the whole family. And as much as that costs in tax dollars, it is far cheaper than the alternative.

          • Steph

            Amen Lucy.

          • kimbev69

            So all these other people that tie up their kids or duct tape them or put them in cages are just not experienced parents and they need classes wow!

          • Lucy

            Every situation should be judged individually, based on that situation alone. And for this situation, I stand by what I said.

          • kimbev69

            Yea i keep a supply of zip ties around the house just in case oh i don’t know i wanna restrain someone! She purposely purchased these to restrain her kid so I’m certain it wasn’t a first time thing

          • Lucy

            I have several bags of them in the basement, and a bunch kicking around the junk drawer. And I’ve never restrained anyone. They do have other uses.

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            I have a bage of rubber reusable zip ties. THEY ROCK!!!

            Sorry. Totally off topic.

            ***(ALL CAPS FOR THE APPEAL)

            I THINK WE ALL AGREE SHE FUCKED UP!!! NO ONE IS DEFENDING HER. SOME CAN CLEARLY SYMPATHIZE, BUT DO NOT AGREE THAT THE ZIP TIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED….

            am I wrong? Of course not! I’m April…..

          • kimbev69

            well i wonder what she bought them for? oh yea to “restrain her kid” which she was allegedly told by the police she could do

          • Lucy

            You “know” that she bought them for the purpose of restraining the kid like you “know” that she wasn’t out paying a bill but was instead out buying meth, an accusation you leveled with absolutely no evidence behind it. You are determined to see this woman in the worst possible light, even if it means creating an imaginary drug habit for her. This says more about you than it does about her.

        • Steph

          Some children are not a product of their environment but rather a product of a mental disorder/disability. We do not know if this child has any emotional or mental disorders. We do not know that how she has raised him is why he is the way he is. While I will agree that restraining a child to the post and then leaving the home is a bad parenting move, I do not feel we have enough information to label her a bad breeder.

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            That is the exception. No – not all children are, but a majority are a reflection of their home lives. My neighbor’s kid is ADHD, but he is also an asshole…. Like his parents. He’s arrogant and competitive. He acts like a hothead. The parent blame the ADHD. I think it’s more because they hide behind that excuse. Even an ADHD child should be forced to face consequences. Am I wrong??

          • Steph

            No you absolutely are not wrong. No matter what the disorder is, a child should know that there is a consequence to their actions and it is sad that so many parents hide behind their child’s disorder or even worse… insist their kid be diagnosed with a disorder that they probably never had and some correction and proper nurturing on the parent’s part would have halted the behavior that earned them their “diagnosis”. I will agree 100% that my personal situation is more the exception than the rule. It is just frustrating to see blanket statements like that when you have a child who is “out of control” despite all of the time, money, love and energy you have put into raising and helping them.

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            I know there are kids who are the exception. I feel for parents who have these chidren. I also know puberty plays a role in behavior.

      • kimbev69

        she went off to pay bills..i’m not buying that..she prob went to get some meth

    • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

      Zip ties? Seriously? Hard plastic ties? I think there are better ways of dealing with an unruly child.

  • Lucy

    Hmmm… this is a tough one. On the one hand, she was probably at her wits end with this out of control kid. (Although from the neighbor’s comments, it sounds like this mom’s behavior might be contributing to her son’s issues.) There simply are not a lot of options out there for parents of emotionally disturbed kids, especially lower income families. On the other hand, I can not support what she did. She locked him to the post and left. If there had been a fire while she was gone, he would have burned to death, locked to that post. I can’t think of many things more horrible than that. So I feel for this mom (sounds like she is in it alone, too. No mention of Dad) and I don’t know what the answer was for her. But this isn’t it.

    Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t look like a large woman at all, and the time is fast approaching when he will be bigger than her. If the only tool she has in her parenting kit is to manhandle him and restrain him with zip ties, she’s screwed, because that won’t be an option in a few years.

    • kimbev69

      how can you defend her, all the info on the boy comes from her a woman that thinks ziptying a kid to a post is ok

      • Lucy

        Perhaps I have lived long enough to understand that it is possible to condemn a person’s behavior and actions and still have compassion for that person. And maybe I also understand that it is often possible to look for a solution to a problem that benefits all the people involved, instead of jumping to the knee-jerk, emotional response of, “WOMAN BAD! MUST PUNISH!”

        Did this woman act badly? Yes. Did she do something criminally wrong and in doing so put her child at risk? Yes. Is she a vile, evil creature deserving of hate and scorn and unable to ever improve her behavior or situation in any way? Hell no.

        So instead of going all primal hulk-smash on her, I’m going to take a step back, a deep breath, and say, “Lady, you screwed up in a big way, and you’re lucky all that happened was a cut finger and some wrist burn. Now let’s look at the best way for both you and your children to see that it never happens again.”

        Does this make me wrong in your eyes? Well, I think I’m going to be able to live with that.

        • kimbev69

          Yes must punish woman who ties up kid to run an errand

  • Steph

    I have an almost 11 year old son that has a mood disorder. He is VERY difficult to manage and often times loses complete control of himself. To say that more often than not, he is “out of control” is a gross understatement. He has a mouth that his little body cannot back up and has ZERO respect for authority, rules, etc…. That being said, I can totally understand where this woman was at when she made this decision. Having your 11 year old son brought home in a police car is very scary. It starts making you worry about when they are 16 and how much more trouble they will get into for the same exact thing.

    My son has bit me, thrown things at me, run from the house when being held accountable for his actions. I TOTALLY feel for this woman and do not think that she belongs on the same page as all of these monsters. She did not beat him, she restrained her out of control preteen because she was at the end of her rope with the boy and didn’t know what else to do

    • kimbev69

      a mouth his little body cannot back up? that says alot about how you have handled him up to this point…

      • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

        I didn’t defend her. I think she’s a damn fool.

        • kimbev69

          not you the two commenting above your other comment…lucy and rachel

          • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

            I don’t believe she is the worst parent, but def a stupid ass. She deserves to be charged. And she deserves to be on BB.

          • Lucy

            If you think I defended her actions, you need to go back and reread my comment. Here, I’ll help:

            “…I can not support what she did. She locked him to the post and left. If there had been a fire while she was gone, he would have burned to death, locked to that post. I can’t think of many things more horrible than that. So I feel for this mom (sounds like she is in it alone, too. No mention of Dad) and I don’t know what the answer was for her. But this isn’t it.

            Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t look like a large woman at all, and the time is fast approaching when he will be bigger than her. If the only tool she has in her parenting kit is to manhandle him and restrain him with zip ties, she’s screwed, because that won’t be an option in a few years.”
            Does that translate into defending her actions? Really?

            “

      • Steph

        I have never once put my hands on my son so you have NO idea how he has been handled up to this point. I have however on SEVERAL occasions had to run out of the house to keep my son from getting his ass kicked by other kids.

        • kimbev69

          I never said you beat him but that stmt says alot

          • Steph

            That statement only says that my son has been in situations where his mouth has gotten him into physical fights with older kids – I have read a lot of what you have posted and it seems to me that you make an awful lot of assumptions without facts to back it up.

          • Angel25

            It seems she likes making those types of assumptions. I’ll not judge you as I’ve not walked that mile. Good luck. God bless.

          • Steph

            Thank you Angel. Judgement is so readily thrown these days. When my son has a complete and total break down in public, the accusing eyes are immediately upon me. They have no idea the commitment I have made to my son. They do not realize what I have given up for him. They do not know that I am the one that is holding him and rocking him when he is “just so sad and can’t stop crying”. They do not know that more often than not, I cry myself to sleep, terrified of my son’s future… knowing that the path he is on is one that leads to a cell and feeling helpless to stop it. They see the mom that is allowing her son to have a complete meltdown in the grocery store. They don’t take even a moment to wonder if perhaps there is nothing I can do to stop it and that I have to wait until he is back in a state of mind that I can reason with him. So – Even if I do not agree with someones decision, even if I do not agree with their view, I am not so ready to cast judgement upon someone with out more evidence.

  • ME

    I personally don’t see anything wrong with what she did. He was out of control and wanting to run. We can only do so much as parents. And authority can help only so much. What else could she have done to keep him from running? Called the cops? Yea and what are they gonna do? Talk to him?? HA. Please. definitely don’t think this story belongs on BB.

    • http://badbreeders.net/ Malevolent April

      I beg to differ. I have a pre-teen son and I can think of WAY better ways of dealign with him that zip ties.

  • wastintime

    The kid does seem to be out of control. He could be acting out because of the way she treats him. Or a devorce, death in the family, some big change in his life. Perhaps they could use with some counseling?

    • Angel25

      My father died when I was 10. Follow right after my next door neighbor molested me. When I told my mother her words were, “it’s your fault you were so gullible” I was 11 years old. I spun out of control soon after. Running away, ausaulting 2 police officers, destroying our home, citing myself, doing drugs, you name it. I did it. I’m sure my mother was at her wits end with me. No one knows why that boy is acting out or are dealing with the behaviors. I can’t see myself doing that to any of my children. But I’ve not had to deal with an out of control child. I’m sure my mother would have zip-tied me I she had thought of it. I was definitely a danger to myself and others at my worst. Would it have been better for the boy to run away and preyed on by a predator? Then she would have been on here for “allowing” that to happen. Of course being villified for that by judgmental people who are not in her situation.