Warning: Severe sarcasm and snark ahead. Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all time. I’m not responsible for you punching your computer screen in rage at this woman and breaking your hand, or worse, your computer.
Note: This post is set up far differently than usual. If you don’t like it, let me know and I won’t use something like this again. Let me know what you think, good or bad. Please and Thank You!
Cheryl Darlene Dudley
AdminRaptor: Welcome to the Bad Breeders Internet Game Show (otherwise known as BBIGS)!
Jimmy: The game no one wants to play because contestants generally lose!
Adminraptor: I’m AdminRaptor,and tonight, along with co-host Jimmy, who is actually just a sarcastic fictional extension of myself, we have a new contestant! This is Cheryl Darlene Dudley of St. Peters, Missouri. She is 37 years old and a “mother” of two children. One child is one year old (22 months, almost 2) and the other child is seven years old. She doesn’t look too happy. Why isn’t she happy?
Jimmy: She’s sitting in jail right now on a $30,000 bond!
AdminRaptor: Indeed she is! Although that sounds a little low, doesn’t it Jimmy?
Jimmy: Very low.
AdminRaptor: Ridiculously low
Jimmy: Insanely low.
AdminRaptor: Indescribably low.
Jimmy: Lower than what I predict this woman’s IQ is.
AdminRaptor: I stand corrected.
Anyway, you’ll understand the “low” comments when I tel you what she’s n jail for. Well, it’s simple really… She tied her 22-month old (one year, almost two) child to her garage, outside, so that the child wouldn’t run out into the street.
Jimmy: I think the real reason is so the child wouldn’t run away in general from their lunatic mother.
AdminRaptor: More than likely. Police came to her house when a neighbor/witness called them reporting that a child was tied to the garage. When they got there, the child was no longer tied to the garage…But of course, Cheryl forgot rule #2 of dealing with the police during an investigation.
Jimmy: What’s rule #2?
AdminRaptor: Rule #2 is “Shut the fuck up.”
Jimmy: …What’s rule #1?
AdminRaptor: Rule #1 is “Don’t break the fucking law.”
Jimmy: Ah, good rules to abide by.
AdminRaptor: Indeed they are. But Cheryl broke rule #2 and didn’t shut the fuck up. Instead, she did admit to tying her child to the garage so that she wouldn’t run away. Then, when police searched the house, they found a loaded rifle in the one-year-old’s crib.And how did Cheryl explain that? Oh, she heard a noise out back and grabbed her gun, set it down in the crib, and forgot that it was there.
Jimmy: Hey, that’s a legitimate excuse! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve walked by my child’s crib and thought “Hey, that there bed would make a mighty fine gun cabinet!
AdminRaptor: Not funny.
Jimmy: Okay, how about this one: Maybe this is just some liberal conspiracy cover-up and the gun really belonged to the one-year-old and the police were just trying to deprive her of her Second Amendment rights?
AdminRaptor: What the fuck.
Jimmy: ‘MURIKA. THEY’RE TAKIN’ OUR FREEDOMS!
AdminRaptor: Rule #2 applies to this situation too, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Shutting the fuck up, now.
AdminRaptor: Good. Thank you.
Jimmy: Maybe that’ll be the headline for this case on Fox News…
AdminRaptor: Anyway, as the police continued to search. They found pills in the bedroom that was shared by the 7-year-old child, within reach of said child. Cheryl said she didn’t know what the pills were–just that they helped her sleep and she had trouble sleeping. There were also 5 dogs in the house that were removed from the home along with the children after this search. Dog feces were scattered about the house, and the basement had a number of used diapers on the floor, and things near the water heater that presented a fire hazard. There was also spoiled food in the kitchen/refrigerator, and brown smears of unknown origin in the refrigerator as well. `
Jimmy: Ew. Just. Ew.
AdminRaptor: And she is sitting in jail with a $30,000 bond with 7–SEVEN–counts of endangering the welfare of a child and 1 count of child abuse. So now you understand why Jimmy and I feel that this is a ridiculously low amount for bond. Oh, and there was physical abuse as well. Not only were flea bites and scratches found on the toddler, and bruises on her that Cheryl admitted to causing. The bathroom also looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in months as well. Oh, and the back door was always open because the glass of the door was broken. The full details can be read on the probable cause papers in the sources.
And unfortunately, I can’t think of the best way to end this blog post except to say that I hope that she is held responsible for her actions and that the children (and the dogs too) find a good home with loving families that will love and care for them like they deserve.
Jimmy: Too serious, bro.
AdminRaptor: Rule #2, Jimmy.
 Missouri Mother Cheryl Dudley Left Loaded Gun In Crib, Police Say – The Huffington Post
 Cheryl Dudley Probable Cause Statement – Scribd
 St. Peters Woman Accused of Leaving Loaded Gun In Crib – CBS News St. Louis
 St. Peters mom left loaded rifle in crib, police say – St. Louis Post-Dispatch