Tag Archives: Carron Washington

Bleach: The New Albuterol

Florida dad jailed after giving baby bleach; he thought it would help her asthma

Hey, Parents, guess what? No more lengthy waits in the doctor’s office are needed for your kids who have asthma! No more expensive medications! Now, you can cure your child of this horrific breathing disorder by simply feeding them BLEACH!!! NO! Not really. But, apparently a father in Florida has spent too much time sniffing bleach fumes (or something stronger?) himself, and thought that a cap full of bleach was just what was needed to improve his two-month old daughter’s breathing problem.

Little Caelynn Washington is recovering in a Gainesville, FL, hospital after her father added bleach to her bottle and fed it to her. He said he thought it would improve her breathing, because “someone had told him it would”. Yeah, I remember those days…I had friends tell me all manner of things when I had my first child. Luckily, I had the requisite number of brain cells to distinguish between good and bad advice. For instance, I had one friend tell me that giving my child tylenol would help her sleep at night. I’m sure it would, but Tylenol is not a sleeping aid for babies, and I figured my babies slept quite enough without that nutritional additive, thankyouverymuch. I was also told that rubbing whiskey on my baby’s gums would help with teething. Again, are you freakin’ kidding me?!? You don’t give alcohol – in any form – to a baby. Teething rings worked fine, and were much cheaper than a bottle of Jack – and reusable, as well.

Apparently, 20 year old Carron Washington, of Ocala, FL, has fewer brain cells than a dead turnip, however. He thought that the bleach would help his daughter. Right. Sorry, folks, I don’t buy it. No one with an education higher than third grade would think that bleach is an acceptable medical treatment for anything, except, perhaps, assisted euthanasia. Which I also disagree with, by the way. This guy’s sister has told reporters that her brother made an honest mistake, because this was his first child, and he didn’t know it would harm the child. Again…right…not so much. Did he drink any of this ‘miracle cure’ himself? I think not. I’m sure if he had, he would have realized that the burning sensation caused by the bleach as it traveled down the esophagus was not an indication of healing properties. Besides, as anyone who has ever cleaned with bleach knows, it has a warning right on the bottle that states there should be adequate ventilation while using the product because it can CAUSE respiratory problems. In simplified terms, the fumes from bleach can burn the lining of the lungs. So, how in blue Hell did this guy think DRINKING such a toxic substance would help his child’s asthma? He didn’t. I don’t buy it, and I hope he gets sent to jail until his baby is grown. Who knows, next time, he might try giving her gasoline thinking it will make her run faster. Or antifreeze to cool her off when she has a fever.

If ever there was a time to enact a law punishing criminal stupidity, this is it. It has long been my opinion that such high levels of stupidity should be accompanied by excruciating pain, so that the idiots who think up such asininity would be so incapacitated by the pain that they would be unable to move well enough to act upon such thoughts. And if wishes were nickels, I’d be a millionaire.

Carron Washington is being held on $25,000.00 bond and has been ordered to stay away from Caelynn when she is released from the hospital. Oh, and in the article, it mentioned that when the baby threw up, the “parents” called 911. If the mother was at home at the time and was a party to this ill-conceived ‘medical treatment’, then why is she not being charged as well? Just a little something to wonder about, I guess.

Well, I need to go and give my kids their medicine, now. I think I’ll let them have a cup of Tide detergent instead of bothering with those long tedious baths. And give them Miracle-Gro plant food to help them grow strong and healthy. After all it says right on the bottle of plant food that it will strengthen and make plants grow faster – so it should work for the kids, too, huh? No, I’m not really gonna give that stuff to my kids…because I’m not stupid.

Sorry for the snarkiness of my post – wait, no I’m not. I’m only sorry I couldn’t come up with something even more harsh to say about the stupidity of this moron. I must be slipping.