Bad Breeders

Parenting so bad, it's criminal

Tag: Doing The Right Thing

Kudos to this mom!

I realize that the site is called “Bad Breeders”, and with good reason, but I really needed to post some happy news for a change.

There is *always* a safe option that everyone can live with.

Baby left with West Side firefighters
Teen Mom Leaves Baby at Firehouse
Teen leaves infant at firehouse: ‘She was overwhelmed’

“What’s so happy about a baby being left at a fire station?”, you ask?

Well, for one, this baby is alive. Second, this baby was well-cared-for prior to being brought to the fire station. And the mother, rather than harming her child when she became overwhelmed and felt she couldn’t handle any more, chose to find a local Safe Haven location to bring her baby to. She wanted to ensure that he would have a chance at life that she apparently felt she could no longer offer him.

There were other links to articles about this story that I chose not to include. One had a headline to the effect of “mother abandons infant”, which I felt was inappropriate and discouraging. To me, abandoning a child would be leaving them on the sidewalk, which happened not to long ago. Or dumping the child in a dumpster. Or worse. Not bringing them to a place set up to care for babies when their parents aren’t able. This woman didn’t abandon her child.

According to that last link up there, she felt overwhelmed. She didn’t seem to want to leave her baby, according to the firefighters that were present at the time, and she was visibly upset. She remained at the station with her baby, only leaving when an ambulance arrived to take her son to the hospital for a checkup (taking infants dropped off at any Safe Haven to the nearest hospital for a checkup is standard procedure). According to hospital personnel, the baby was in excellent condition. So this mother took good care of her baby, only choosing to bring him to a place she knew he’d continue to be well-cared-for when she felt she couldn’t.

I’m seriously in aw at the strength this must have taken, and I pray that this mother is able to get herself back into a position where she feels she can once again care for this child, because I don’t think anyone could do a better job at it than the woman who obviously loves him so much. And I hope that DCFS takes into account the fact that she did take such good care of him prior to bringing him to the Safe Haven location, and the fact that she did take him to a Safe Haven location, rather than allow him to come to harm in some way. I hope that they give him back to her when she is ready to care for him again.

We’ve all read stories here about mothers murdering their newborn babies, right out of the womb, mothers killing their babies to get out of the responsibility that was keeping them from their party-ho lifestyle, and even about one who sold her baby off to a perverted murderer to pay a drug debt, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseam. We all know that this could have turned out far, far worse for this child, had the mother not loved him enough to take such good care of him, and then to bring him to a place where people could continue to care for him when she felt she was no longer able. So I want to send a special message to that mother, in case she (or someone she knows) reads this:

Dear Overwhelmed Mother,
Thank you for taking such good care of your baby. Thank you for not harming him when you felt overwhelmed. Thank you for doing what you obviously felt was the responsible thing, what you felt was in the best interest of your child. I know you love your baby. I have faith that you can improve your situation (whatever that may be) to the point that you will be able to care for him again. Please don’t lose hope. Please seek whatever help it is that you need. Whoever you are, you are in my thoughts and prayers, as is your son.
Very sincerely, and with love,
~ Another (occasionally overwhelmed) Mother

While most Safe Haven Laws allow for only a 30 day post birth for their “no questions asked” policy, Law Enforcement is not seeking to press charges against this mother. What would be the point? She clearly took care of this child, clearly loved him, clearly put much thought into what she felt was in his best interest, and clearly put much time into preparing to bring him to the Safe Haven location. And I think that not pressing charges is the right call. My sincerest hope is that LE and DCFS will work with this mother and help her get to the point where she will feel she can once again care for her little one.

For more information about Safe Haven Laws:
National Safe Haven Alliance
Child Welfare Information Gateway
Please spread these links out, far and wide. Make sure that no one is ever able to use the excuse “I didn’t know about Safe Haven Laws.”

Thanks to the Lovely CynicalMe for this tip. It’s so nice to read about a parent doing something right for a change.

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