A band of demons have been arrested and charged with neglect of a minor after their poor kids were found to be living in disgusting squalor in Evansville, IN. I nearly jumped right out of my skin when I saw the mugshots. They’d scare the bejeebus out of Stephen King!!
Police were sent to the house to investigate a narcotics complaint and to check on the welfare of some children living in the house. Hope they remembered their crucifixes and bibles… When they knocked on the door, the head demon Michael Robb warned them that the house was “a little messy”. That’s the understatement of the year! The house was past messy – it was practically uninhabitable!
Although it was a 2 bedroom house, only one bedroom was being used. Between 6 people! What happened to the other bedroom, you ask? The other one had been damaged by smoke and fire!! It was unsafe to use, and the fire probably had caused structural damage to the rest of the house, making it unsafe for anyone to live there! Perhaps if someone exorcises the demons from it, it’ll collapse like The House of Usher.
Officers discovered piles of rubbish, clothing, and food all through the house. In the bathroom, there were piles of wet and mildewed clothing around the toilet and bathtub. Silly demons, that’s not where you wash clothing! And they won’t dry if you throw them on the floor!
The children had no beds and were sleeping on the floor, along with the garbage. There was also the ubiquitous dog and cat shit lying around on the floor, as well as rotting food including chicken thighs. The children, one running around naked and the other wearing only a nappy, were eating the rotted food from off the floor. Bleurgh! One started eating a chicken thigh until the officer made them put it down! Oh my god, I think I’m going to be sick…The children were dirty and did not have any clean clothing to wear. The two younger kids didn’t have any coats (I believe it’s the middle of Winter over there, am I right?) Another child was crawling around through the filth with a blue tubular object in his mouth. Can anyone guess what it was? You’d be correct if you said it was a metal pipe with burnt marijuana in it! Nice!
The five hands of hell: Michael Robb, Candace Carnahan, Toni Carnahan-Tosti, Jerrod Fuqua and Dani York have been arrested and charged with child neglect. Michael Robb and Dani York face additional charges for possession of prescription pills (Yeah I’d need a few Xanax and Oxys too if I lived in hole like that!) Candace Carnahan, who is the mother of two of the children, is four months’ pregnant. With a demon family like that, we’d better hope it doesn’t turn out like Rosemary’s Baby…
Thanks to Steve for the tip, and to Malevolent April for the encouragement!
Thanks to techsupport for the quip about Kristen Stewart!