Bad Breeders

Reno police: Intoxicated man arrested after letting son, 11, drive car:

Not a lot of detail on this one but police in Reno, Nevada arrested Carl Richard Buchanan for allegedly being drunk while letting his 11-year-old son drive him home. Luckily no one was hurt.

To be honest the real reason I wanted to post this story was because of the mugshot and so I could give one of my infamous panty bunching statements.

Soul patches are for douchebags.

Thanks to Christina for the tip.

Mom’s designated driver: her 13-year-old son:

32-year-old Heather Choulos and her boyfriend got bombed at a restaurant in San Anselmo, California. Both have prior convictions for DUI. Rather than doing the sensible thing of calling a cab or not getting drunk when they know they have to drive they allegedly made Choulos’ 13-year-old son drive.

Apparently he couldn’t handle the pressure of driving a Land Rover with two drunk adults in the vehicle and stopped the SUV in the middle of the street.

Good for him, he probably saved everyone’s life by doing that.

6-Year-Old Drives After Mom Smokes “That Stinky Stuff”:

Police: 6-Year-Old Driver Says Mom Was ‘Smoking The Smelly Stuff’:

Is that a mugshot of the year candidate or what?

Anyway, that my friends is 30-year-old Lakisha Hogue of Coatesville, Pa. She was arrested after the Dodge Durango she was riding in was pulled over. The reason her SUV was pulled over is because her 6-year-old daughter was driving it.

Officer Robert Keetch said he had to do a double take after seeing the little girl driving. “There were two white knuckles and a little head popping over the stearing wheel,” he said.

Hogue was allegedly laughing her ass off when police pulled the vehicle over. The girl told police that she was driving because her mom was ‘tired’. However when police contacted her aunt the girl admitted that Hogue was smoking ‘the stinky stuff’. Hogue allegedly said she was teaching her daughter to drive. I didn’t know you could get your learner’s permit at 6 in Pennsylvania.

I’m curious to know where they were driving from and to. So not only did Hogue more than likely tell her daughter to lie to police but a Dodge Durango is not a small car. So because her need to get high was greater than the need to keep her child safe she put her daughter’s and God knows how many other drivers’ and pedestrians’ lives in danger.

Thanks to Cassandra for the tip.

Troopers: 7-year-old was mom’s designated driver:

37-year-old Karen K. Koch (nice initials) of Fairbanks, Alaska was arrested for letting her 7-year-old son drive the car while she was drunk. Not only was she drunk but police say that she was also passed out. When police finally caught up with her and woke her ass up she didn’t see what the big deal was.

Not surprisingly she has previous DUI offenses and failed a sobriety check that night.

What is surprising is that she still has her kid as far as I can tell and only had to pay $250 to get out of jail.

Thanks to Winter for the tip.

Father charged when 8-year-old driver causes damage:

This story is almost comical if it wasn’t so dangerous.

34-year-old Mark A. Belanger of Sarasota, Fla. was arrested in Bradenton for letting his 8-year-old son drive his van. He claimed he was ‘feeling woozy’ and wanted to have a bonding moment with his son. The son then proceeded to take out two trees and almost hit a couple of pedestrians.

When police rolled up dear old dad fell literally flat on his face. The mugshot confirms that. The boy said his father was taking ‘liquid medicine’ which turned out to be a bottle of Canadian whiskey.

There’s nothing like jeopardizing not only your son’s life but those of innocent bystanders just so you could get your drink on. I have no sympathy for drunks like this.

Thanks to LadyJade for the tip.

9-year-old makes beer run; dad charged with child abuse:

The driving age in most states is 16. In New Jersey it’s 17 and I think one of the Dakotas has a driving age of 14. Still, none of those are 9-years-old.

That didn’t matter to Joshua Fagan of Cape Coral, Florida. When Fagan needed to make a beer run on Thanksgiving he was already half in the bag. Rather than driving himself or, God forbid, actually going without beer for a day, Fagan made his 9-year-old son drive the truck. Police pulled them over three blocks from the house and there was an open case in the vehicle. Fagan allegedly told police he didn’t do anything wrong.

The local news station, whose article I’ve linked to, decided they would tell his neighbors about Fagan’s arrest. If you can’t find news make it, right? Anyway let’s see what one of his neighbors said…

Jim and Leslie Gower say Josh Fagan is a good father. “They go camping, they go fishing, they love each other,” Leslie Gower says. “I know he’s a good father, but he’s probably stressed,” Jim Gower adds. “He lost his job in construction, his wife divorced him, and he takes care of two sons.”

Cry me a freakin’ river. It’s enablers like this in our society that allow actions like this to continue. Would they have said the same thing if the 9-year-old ended up flipping the truck and killing everyone inside it?

I don’t care if Hitler kicked his dog. Your child’s well being should be a much higher priority than getting your drink on.