Tag Archives: teenager

Son shot for shoplifting

Dad shoots son after teen caught shoplifting

Correctional Officer Accused Of Shooting Son After Shoplifting Arrest

A prison guard from Queens allegedly shot his teenage son after he was busted shoplifting from a Home Depot in Long Island City. Quasaun Smalls (17) decided he needed some drill bits from Home Depot, but didn’t quite have the coin required for their purchase. So in his teenage wisdom, he used the ol’ 5 finger discount. This resulted in a desk appearance ticket and the po-po sent him on his merry way.

When Quasaun got home, his Daddy Dearest Robert Smalls (39) was beyond furious. Apparently Smalls thought his son should have gotten jail time for pinching a few drill bits, rather than just a ticket. A fight broke out, and Robert shot his son with a 9mm handgun. Neighbours say they heard yelling and a gunshot, but probably put it down to background noise associated with living in New York.

Dad called 911 himself (that’s something) and Quasaun was rushed to hospital in a stable condition. He’s expected to make a complete recovery. Dad was charged with felony assault and criminal possession of a weapon. I presume that means he was supposed to turn in his gun at the end of his shift at the jailhouse, and hadn’t.

It would have been a hell of a lot easier to march young Quasaun down to the Home Depot and apologise over the PA system for stealing merchandise, driving up the costs of the merchandise and causing the need to increase security at the shop.

Clint and Lynn Engstrom to be Evicted from Their House

Clint and Lynn Engstrom, the couple accused of forcing their teen daughter to stay in a barren room 22 hours a day for two years, are being evicted from the prison-house for close to $5,000 in past due rent. Seems fitting, no? (Hat tip: Sinthyia)

Jamie Lee Knox Gets 3 to 15 for Sexing Up Son’s Friend

Jamie Lee KnoxHoly crap, folks, there’s just too much to write about today. Tips are flying in fast and furious; I can’t keep up with them. It seems that bad parents are coming out of the woodwork. What the hell? Did someone taint the world’s water supply with a few metric tons of Crazy-Ass Juice?

That’s the only way I can explain cases like that of 42-year-old Jamie Lee Knox, a Farmington Hills, Michigan mother of a teenage son who’s gonna serve 3 to 15 because she couldn’t resist fucking her son’s 15-year-old friend. Mom was caught when the boy’s parents noticed him hiding his computer use; they snuck into his accounts and discovered emails from Knox. Knox, like all good sexual deviants, decided neither to fight the charges nor defend herself against them; instead, she pleaded nolo. She apologized in court for her actions, mind you, so she admits that she’s guilty as hell; she merely pleaded no contest, you see, to spare her family the pain of a trail.

Gee, Jamie. That’s mighty big of you.

Someone please explain to me: what makes a sexually inexperienced, under-ripe 15-year-old boy attractive to a 40-something woman? Perhaps Knox could explain it to me. Then again, never mind; I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.