Bad Breeders

Parenting so bad, it's criminal

Family of Four Found Safe After Abduction by Dad

Jerry D. WhiteHosanna! The mom and four kids who were abducted this weekend have been found safe in a motel room. The childrens’ father, Jerry D. White, took them there by force after invading the home of his ex-girlfriend Kimberly M. Walker, shooting her sister’s boyfriend in the process. Police arrested the ne’er-do-well dad as he tried to escape through the motel heating vent.

Heheheheheh. Sorry, but I can’t get the image out of my head of White’s legs dangling out of a vent as police shout “FREEZE!!” and point pistols at his ass.

Authorities were able to trace White because Walker had been able to make several calls to a family from a nearby pay phone. It’s unclear if White let her call the family, or if she snuck out. If the latter, he may be one of the dumbest criminals to grace the Earth. Either that, or he’s just a deeply troubled man who, when push came to shove, couldn’t cause any real harm to his family. Mind you, he nearly killed a man, so let’s not give Jerry D. White too much credit.

Thank God we can laugh about it now. This is a fitting end to what might have been an awful tragedy. If only they all ended like this…

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  1. Thank God. That’s all I can say…

  2. Thank God. That’s all I can say…

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