Wow! They really do have something for everybody at Mickey D’s these days. Everybody gets to leave happy…or pass out…or whatever. I guess in Florida, anything’s possible. At least nobody died or got raped in this one, which is a vast improvement over the other recent stories I’ve had to report.
It seems that Jessica Jones, egg donor of an 8-year-old boy, wanted the little man to have some food and fun, so she did what many good moms do, and took him to McDonalds for a Happy Meal and some play time on the McD’s playground. Fine so far, but this is where her actions deviate from those of the REAL good moms. Most moms would also buy themselves something to eat, or for the ones (like me) who don’t care for fast food, at least purchase a drink to slurp on while watching our little angel(s) play. Not McDruggie. She went back out to her car and proceeded to get McStoned on some McOxy and some McAlprazolam. For those who don’t know the various uses of today’s pharmacological goodies, that’s pain pills and anti-anxiety medication, respectively. Why in the name of Satan’s jockey shorts would you need to take both of these at the same freakin’ time? I’m just guessing here, since I don’t use painkillers, but wouldn’t the oxy knock you out and make the anti-anxiety medication unnecessary? Maybe she wanted to make sure she didn’t have any nightmares…hmmmmm…could be. Nah, she’s just your average junkie who likes to get her stupor on more than she likes to take care of her kid.
The details are as follows, according to cops and other patrons at the fine dining establishment:
Jessica took her son inside, bought him a happy meal, and then deposited him in the play area. She then went back out to her auto, leaving the little boy to play alone, and downed a little ‘happiness’ of her own. Two other customers noticed her return to her car, and a short time later found her slumped over in the driver’s seat. They notified authorities, who came and relieved her of her son, her auto, her drugs, and her freedom. Wow! That’s a lot of relief from just a few tiny pills. When the cops were finally able to get her conscious, her speech was slurred and she was disoriented. Gee, I wonder why???
Now, I know there are people out there who have a legitimate need for such strong medication, but since her ‘meds’ were in an unmarked bottle and she was hiding in the freakin’ car to use them, I’m betting Jessica was not one of the legitimate users. Even if she did acquire them legally, and they were necessary, she had no business taking her child out in public before ingesting psychoactive substances. I can think of at least three other options she could have used to avoid such a horrid outcome:
1. Get the freakin’ Happy Meal to go (I haven’t seen a McD’s without a drive-thru in YEARS), and take the kid home to eat and play Wii or nintendo, or whatever.
1. Stay home with the kid, make some mac-n-cheeze or beanie weenies (or even a bowl of Cap’n Crunch, if she was too lazy to heat anything up), and put on a movie or video game for the boy. Granted, that’s not as healthy as physical exercise for the boy, but at least he’s safe at home.
2. Call a sitter or friend (or the boy’s father) if she just HAS to have a medicated moment.
I could go on and on, but I won’t bore you any more. Most of our readers KNOW how to be good parents, and don’t need further examples of the benefits of using common sense. McPillhead up there apparently has no common sense, or traded it for the pills or something. Regardless, she has been charged with neglect and possession of prescription pills. No mention was made of the disposition of the child, but I am assuming they did not allow him to remain in her custody – perhaps the father showed up? I’d really like to know, so if any of you hear anything please add it in the comments below. I’m just glad that no children were physically harmed or killed as a result of this wench’s poor judgement. Thank God for small favors…..
Thanks go to Marsha and Erin for sending in tips about this one. Go have a Happy Meal – on me.