Bad Breeders

Parenting so bad, it's criminal

Bad Parent Sighting: Bloody child beatdown in WalMart

Back in the day when Uncle Zeroboss ran the site he had a feature called ‘Bad Parent Sightings’. These were stories he received from readers about Bad Breeder sightings they would encounter during their day-to-day activities. Just like the er-mail we received this week from a reader from north of the border…

I’m a Canadian who,occasionally, crosses the border into the US with a friend of mine for the sole purpose of doing a little shopping. You all have better deals and way more cereal choices than we do! Anyways, yesterday was one of those days. My friend and I left the kids home with their dads and headed off to the Wal-Mart.

I had a super day checking out the products we don’t have, loading up on treats and buying my oldest son his birthday present ( a Lego set he wanted which was only available in the States). When I got to the checkout, a family of a mom and five young children pulled up behind me. They were all really close in age and were shoving each other as children do. I smiled at the little girl behind me putting the articles on the strap.That mom looked absolutely overwhelmed. She was alternately yelling at the kids, who were all pretty dirty and generally unkept.

I know it was a Sunday afternoon and maybe they were playing and got dirty, but the image was more of neglect than of kids just getting dirty from playing outside. Every time the mom would get annoyed with one of the kids, she would get in their face and shout. The cashier was just shaking her head and mouthed over to me that they are there all the time. The mom would take a kid by the upper arm and squeeze when she was yelling at them. She stopped when she realized that my friend and I were staring at her. At some point, one of the kids that was sitting in the carriage kicked another of the kids, a little boy maybe four years old hard enough in the mouth for the kid to start bleeding. The kid just quietly whimpered and the mom didn’t even turn around.

I told the mom, your kid is bleeding, ma’am. You need to rinse his mouth out to see how bad it is. She then turned to the kid who had kicked her brother, a girl maybe seven years old, and gave her a good telling off. While the little boy continued to bleed there. Again I said, ma’am, your son is bleeding. There’s a fountain right there (a water fountain about five feet away in front of the cash register). I asked her if I could take him over to rinse his mouth out. She looked at me and shook her head no. The poor kid just continued whimpering and the other girl who got yelled at started laying in on her little brother while her mother turned her attention to another kid who was touching something in a candy rack and started giving her what for.

I looked at that little boy with the bloody mouth and felt so very low and sad for him. I have three sons and I can tell you that had any one of them gotten hit hard enough in the mouth to bleed, they would have screamed the store down. Especially at this little guy’s age. The fact that he was so quiet about it, and, worse, didn’t seem to expect anyone to help him just broke my heart. I want to think that these kids were just dirty from playing hard all day and mom was just frazzled at being in a store with five little kids, but it just seemed like there was an air or neglect and anger from mom to the kids and the kids to each other.

I left the store with a heavy heart, my pleasure at all the treats and toys I had bought for my kids entirely gone. I knew that my kids had a good day at home. My husband, I found out when I got home, had taken them and the dog to the dog park that day. They had come home and gone for a bike ride. They then went to my parents house for supper and spent the rest of the evening building Lego with dad.

I don’t want to judge this lady and presume I know what’s going on, or even label her a bad parent. I know what it’s like to have kids drive you crazy in a store and to lose your temper with a kid. But not like this. Not squeezing and upper arm and getting in their face to yell. Or completely ignoring a silently crying one who’s bleeding. This doesn’t compare to anything on this site, I know. But I still think that if someone reads this and recognizes themselves or someone who they know and it makes them realize that in public we only see the tip of the iceberg of what happens at home, maybe people will keep a closer eye on their neighbour’s kids. I wish there was something I coud have done, and it really left me with a bad taste in my mouth that I left this little boy silently crying and bleeding.

Also, I wanted to commend you all on the good work you do here on this site. When we read stories on your site, it’s often too late. But stories like those little kids at Wal-Mart, well, those kids are everywhere.

If you have a bad parent sighting that you’d like to share drop us a line at our contact page.

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30 Comments

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  1. I saw a toddler only wearing a pullup in the middle of Woollies the other day. I mean, how hard is it to dress your kids properly?

    1.  I’ve let my daughter pick her own clothes for a long time. Once this resulted in my 22 month old wearing two dresses, very obviously, her black and white horizontally striped pajama pants, and little brown cowboy boots with purple embroidery. She felt beautiful as she strutted through Target. I’m sure people were like “WTF?” though.

      1. I meant in actual clothing. I used to wear strange combos when I was little too (some of them are now trendy lol) But a toddler wearing just a nappy or a pullup in public doesn’t sit right with me. It just looks like the parents couldn’t be bothered to dress their child 🙁

      2. I woulda smiled. Childhood’s over way too fast; there are bigger problems in the world than the sweet naïveté of fashion violations committed by tots. I find it kind of sweetly endearing, myself.

        /mom of a tot whose version of high fashion is a dark, plastic purple headband so far back it nearly totters off her head, a faded fuschia floral tee with mesh sleeves to the wrist, a silver key and heart locket on an adult chain that leaves it dangling at her navel, a neon green petal and tulle costume skirt (Tinkerbell dress-up outfit), teal, pink, yellow, gray, and magenta striped leggings, &–even in the TX summer–tall black boots with faux feather fringe mid-shin.

        One thing to keep in mind…. My other daughter, nearly 19 months, lives in full body sleepers. I do feel that I get dirty looks every now and again, perhaps from people thinking I am too lazy to put her in day clothes.

        She has a really nasty skin condition I’m struggling to handle. Her pediatrician blew it off the first year as eczema, but my instincts were screaming otherwise. Since birth, she has had severely dry, sensitive skin. Her skin constantly flakes off. She gets rashes of virtually every kind out of no where. Even daily lotioning isn’t enough–her skin still cracks unless she gets a full body lube-down at LEAST 2x a day. She’s got nasty priuritis. She scratches herself compulsively, and will continue to scratch an area even after she’s stripped it down to a raw, bloody mess.

        I can’t let her get free access to her own skin. I can’t let her get between pants and socks to shred her ankles, I can’t let her get between a shirt and waist-band to rake her stomach/sides/back, I can’t let her freely claw her wrists, elbows, shoulders. It’s the best I can do to keep her from shredding her face, neck, and ears. It’s not practical or good for her development to keep her hands bound–so, while I’m stuck slogging from one specialist to another in pursuit of answers (I think I might have one, finally–psoriasis–but diagnosis is not official), she lives in these sleepers.

    2. Something that happened with my baby. I was changing her diaper when she wet all of her extra clothes I had with me. Luckily, Wholefoods sometimes has clothing. I had to purchase the clothing while she was only wearing a diaper. I felt terrible but it lasted only about 15 minutes.

  2. I was at Wal-Mart when some kid began loudly crying. A small child, 2 at the oldest, sitting in the front part of the cart. The woman with him responded by yelling “SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU LITTLE BITCH!” so loud you could hear it from aisles away.

    I once lost it in Wal-Mart myself. MY 3 year old daughter just kept grabbing random things and announcing “We don’t have this at home!” and throwing them in the cart over and over. I don’t even remember what I said, but people stopped to stare at me for an embarrassing couple of seconds. I soon after got down on her level and explained the situation, she wasn’t going to browse the toys if she didn’t shape up, when someone I didn’t realize was following me calmed down and dispersed.

    1. You didn’t freak out on that woman? My Lord imagine what she must do at home if that’s her in public.

      I just don’t understand why people don’t bother to learn the most basic parenting skills. I have this thing for my son called a “good jar”. When he follows the rules and behaves himself I put a quarter in it. When he doesn’t he gets it deducted. I NEVER have to freak out on him in stores, at bed time, at the table, etc. He is 3. And a ball of energy. These people need to read a book. Just fucking shameful.

  3. What’s fun is dragging a screaming Autistic kid that obviously needs to pee, into a public bathroom, which happens to be one of her phobias while everyone is staring with their hands on their cell phones ready to call the cops.  Happened to me.  She’s better with the bathrooms now..but that day when she was like 4….sticks with me still.  I was so scared I’d get arrested…It was either that or her pee in her pants 🙁

    1. I feel for you, though my child wasn’t even autistic, just… Unusually tantrum-ey. >_<. Was on a cross country road-trip, had started out at 4:30am… I'd just gotten my four year old a set of Sophia the First 'jammies and let her stay in them till after lunch. I'd packed a dress to put her in after a romp at the playland. She did NOT like the dress I pulled out, but pajamas were not appropriate for our destination, so the change had to happen.

      She planted her feet and cried that she didn't want it, refusing to come to the adjacent family bathroom with me. I counted to three, which usually gets her butt in gear after "two". Not this time. She elevated her pitch into yelling. I took her by the upper arm and pulled her to the bathroom, having to traverse through a stream of disturbed looking suburbanite yuppie moms staring with mouths agape.

      In completely atypical behavior, she argued and screamed and struggled… All over me pulling her jammies over her head. She started shrieking bloody murder when I pulled the dress over her head. (This was a simple cotton play-dress by the way, nothing scratchy or constricting.). I've never heard a child–any child–in real life carry on the way she was. Not even on the few occasions I have spanked her. Even though I kept my voice calm and stepped back to let her cry it out and cool down… Her meltdown continued with the same searing intensity with no sign of letting up.

      I scooped up her sister and opened the door, and being visible to others silenced my little rager for some reason, so she finally followed me out with loud, dramatic snuffling. Every eye in that place was glaring holes into me. I swear I heard one woman growl. I fully expected a cop car to pull up or to be investigated by CPS or something. These people looked at me with naked hatred and prejudice. They didn't see a damned thing…

      What the hell? Where is this furied concern for obvious, undeniable abuse? Why in the hell has the only time I've encountered such (offline) been for a preschooler wailing over clothes, out of sight no less? Messed up world….

  4. I stopped going to Wal-Mart because of things I would see like this or just the mere fact that the kids were alone in the aisles by themselves. It is really disturbing and I have reported many things I have seen to the managers, CPS and even the police because I have been concerned for a child’s safety. Some of the behaviors I have seen are concerning to me because if they do this is plain sight what will they do at home? I admit I yell at times to my kids because they are ignoring me but I have yet to yell at them in the store. At that point I walk over and whisper in their ear how they will get grounded if they do not listen. I have seen people spank, slap, hit, yell etc their kids in Walmart constantly. It breaks my heart.

    1. It’s so frustrating how many people don’t bother to try and be parents because they got pregnant by accident. My son was not planned but the minute I found out about him I loved him like nothing else and knew I would do anything to make him happy and raise him properly.

      It’s so easy to take a little bit of time to read about kids and what makes them tick and how to deal with them at different ages. Then you can come up with your own ways and do what works for you. Yelling and hitting are never going to help improve a kid’s behaviour.

      And seriously, these “parents” can’t even do lazy properly. If they knew anything about parenting, they’d know it’s much easier to use consistent, logical discipline than it is to curse and scream and hit. Most of it you can do from the couch with a bag of pork rinds in your lap. Not that I fucking eat pork rinds, just saying it fits with their lifestyle so it wouldn’t be an inconvenience.

      I’m getting so pissed right now. I’m going for a coffee.

      1.  You know lol, all 3 of my children were “accidents” I was on birth control with all of them but after my son was born I realized what a gift children truly are. I don’t have any family that I would trust because of the abuse I suffered I knew that I would not ever ask my bitch mother if she were alive. I did actually run through a few parenting classes because I thought I might be doing something wrong.

        Prior to finding out my son’s autism diagnosis and my other son’s ADHD diagnosis I felt like the world’s worst parent. I literally tried everything and it sucked but once I got the proper tools I am always complimented on how well behaved my children are. I will admit I am not immune to cussing or raising my voice because there are times that my children act like they don’t hear me. I do not cuss or raise my voice often but they know that once I say the F word (which I can count on one hand) that I am truly pissed off but I never ever do that stuff in public and I always feel bad after I have done it. 

        Kids can be difficult there is no lie about that but the thing these lazy ass parents need to realize that children need attention and they will get it the only way they know how. Acting up. Once you start doing things with your kids instead of ignoring the crap out of them they will not behave as badly, I mean all kids have the capacity to do the wrong thing because they do not know any better or they are testing their limits but when it seems they are misbehaving on purpose it is generally because they are not getting the attention that they need.

        1. Agreed. Which brings me to something that has been plaguing my mind for a while now. There is a little boy who plays at the park down the street. I’m there almost every day. I’ve known the boy for about 2 years now. His birth vessel used to accompany him and somewhat supervise him, but about a year ago he started showing up by himself. He was about 3.5 at the time. She has sent him alone ever since.

          He is ALWAYS dirty, rarely wears shoes and sometimes he’s bare chested whith no sunscreen, the results of which I see the next day. Often, he has minor injuries due to the lack of supervision, though all the parents make a joint effort to look out for him.

          Recently, though, he’s started showing up with more serious injuries, a black eye, cuts on his face, he looks sleep deprived. He acts out constantly, telling the other kids things like “I’ll kick you in the face”. I have asked him about the injuries and he always has a reasonable explanation.

           I am really worried about him. I feel sad for him because the other kids won’t play with him since he’s so mean, but I know it’s just because his mother ignores him. Is this something I should be calling CPS over? I think it is, and I came to work today, after seeing him last night with another injury to his face with the full intention to do so. But a second or third opinion would be nice.

          1. Hell yes call CPS.  What kind of a parent will let their 3.5 yr old child go to the park ALONE???  Not a responsible one, that’s for sure!  The bitch is probably hoping someone will take him so she doesn’t have to have him around anymore.  I’d call the cops too just for good measure.

          2. I don’t let me 11 year old play in front of my house alone. Before anyone calls me overprotective, I live in California – not some small town. There are too many creepers lurking for me to think he should be unsupervised outside of my home.

          3. Next time he’s there alone, call the police. Let them know he is there often and you are concerned. They will certainly take him home and look into his homelife.

          4. Sarea,
            Call. By all means, call. It won’t hurt a thing and it might help that little boy.  Do you know where he lives? Can you direct CPS there?  Do you have a local policemen that you could mention this to?  Let us know how this comes out, I’ll be looking for updates in the OT>>>Good luck and bless you.

          5. Already called. They told me next time to call the cops too. Will be doing that as well.

          6. Good, let us know what happens.  Sounds like that youngster needs help.

          7.  ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY! Please give that child a voice, I would hate to see him gracing these pages. Remember that behavior is learned, not predispositioned. I would rather make a false call about a child than have something bad happen to one.

          8.  Call CPS and report it immediately.

  5. You’re not over-protective, just responsible and you love your child.  Obviously, the bitch with the gaping maw doesn’t give a shit about her son…so sad.

    1. I love him oodles. He’s my one and only so if he’s gone I have no reason to keep living.

  6. I completely understand.  My one & only daughter is now 27 & I still protect her like a mamma bear!  That will ever wain…at 50 yrs old, I’d still kick anyone’s ass if they harmed one single hair on her beautiful head!

    1. As it should be, Mama.

  7. well thanks lady for the story, and thanks for letting us know how cowardly you are that you just went home with a heavy heart, why not wait in car and watch them come out then write license plate down and report to police and do a welfare check oh yeah and call child protective custody for a welfare check,,, errrrr

    1. And you must be some kind of prosecutor who has put thousands of child abusers behind bars with that kind of talk. 

  8. Thank you, Trench for the defense, but the truth is Carolynn hit a nerve with me. I was hurt by the comment, but only because deep down I know she is right. I certainly should have tried to do more for that poor kid. I know here in Canada, we can report true cases of abuse and see nothing get done. In the case of this family, I saw a mother whose actions didn’t sit right with me and made me sad that the kids were being yelled at, looked dirty and were ignored despite being hit hard by a sibling.
    That being said, I was hesitant because I was afraid of creating a situation where there may not have been one. In future, though, I’ll go with my gut and call it in. Better to call and be wrong than not call and have been wrong.

    1.  Absolutely. I hate when people see abuse or possible abuse and do nothing. It’s hard because people don’t want to be in that position but it’s better to do the right thing than letting something bad happen to those kids.

  9. I was at the supermarket recently when I saw a man out of control smacking a 4 yearold kid and going crazy. Being a victim of child abuse I went up to him and asked him what was going on. He explained to me he was sorry but he had just left his wife in the store to come back to the car when his kid ran away from him into traffic and almost got hit by a car so he was so upset he was freaking out on his kid because he came inches from being hit.
    Had he not given me that explanation I was ready to call the cops.
    I then saw the wife coming out of the store and they drove off. Had he beat him for any other reason I was ready to turn him in.

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