Bad Breeders

Parenting so bad, it's criminal

Children: They Make Great Outdoor Ornaments And Their Beds Make Great Gun Cabinets

Warning: Severe sarcasm and snark ahead. Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all time. I’m not responsible for you punching your computer screen in rage at this woman and breaking your hand, or worse, your computer.ย 

Note: This post is set up far differently than usual. If you don’t like it, let me know and I won’t use something like this again. Let me know what you think, good or bad. Please and Thank You!

Cheryl Darlene Dudley

AdminRaptor: Welcome to the Bad Breeders Internet Game Show (otherwise known as BBIGS)!

Jimmy: The game no one wants to play because contestants generally lose!

Adminraptor: I’m AdminRaptor,and tonight, along with co-host Jimmy, who is actually just a sarcastic fictional extension of myself, we have a new contestant! This is Cheryl Darlene Dudley of St. Peters, Missouri. She is 37 years old and a “mother” of two children. One child is one year old (22 months, almost 2) and the other child is seven years old. She doesn’t look too happy. Why isn’t she happy?

Jimmy: She’s sitting in jail right now on a $30,000 bond!

AdminRaptor: Indeed she is! Although that sounds a little low, doesn’t it Jimmy?
Jimmy: Very low.
AdminRaptor: Ridiculously low
Jimmy: Insanely low.
AdminRaptor: Indescribably low.
Jimmy: Lower than what I predict this woman’s IQ is.
AdminRaptor: I stand corrected.

Anyway, you’ll understand the “low” comments when I tel you what she’s n jail for. Well, it’s simple really… She tied her 22-month old (one year, almost two) child to her garage, outside, so that the child wouldn’t run out into the street.

Jimmy: I think the real reason is so the child wouldn’t run away in general from their lunatic mother.

AdminRaptor: More than likely. Police came to her house when a neighbor/witness called them reporting that a child was tied to the garage. When they got there, the child was no longer tied to the garage…But of course, Cheryl forgot rule #2 of dealing with the police during an investigation.

Jimmy: What’s rule #2?
AdminRaptor: Rule #2 is “Shut the fuck up.”
Jimmy: …What’s rule #1?
AdminRaptor: Rule #1 is “Don’t break the fucking law.”
Jimmy: Ah, good rules to abide by.

AdminRaptor: Indeed they are. But Cheryl broke rule #2 and didn’t shut the fuck up. Instead, she did admit to tying her child to the garage so that she wouldn’t run away. Then, when police searched the house, they found a loaded rifle in the one-year-old’s crib.And how did Cheryl explain that? Oh, ย she heard a noise out back and grabbed her gun, set it down in the crib, and forgot that it was there.

Jimmy: Hey, that’s a legitimate excuse! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve walked by my child’s crib and thought “Hey, that there bed would make a mighty fine gun cabinet!
AdminRaptor: Not funny.
Jimmy: Okay, how about this one: Maybe this is just some liberal conspiracy cover-up and the gun really belonged to the one-year-old and the police were just trying to deprive her of her Second Amendment rights?
AdminRaptor: What the fuck.
AdminRaptor: Rule #2 applies to this situation too, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Shutting the fuck up, now.
AdminRaptor: Good. Thank you.
Jimmy: Maybe that’ll be the headline for this case on Fox News…
AdminRaptor: JIMMY!
Jimmy: Bazinga!

AdminRaptor: Anyway, as the police continued to search. They found pills in the bedroom that was shared by the 7-year-old child, within reach of said child. Cheryl said she didn’t know what the pills were–just that they helped her sleep and she had trouble sleeping. There were also 5 dogs in the house that were removed from the home along with the children after this search. Dog feces were scattered about the house, and the basement had a number of used diapers on the floor, and things near the water heater that presented a fire hazard. There was also spoiled food in the kitchen/refrigerator, and brown smears of unknown origin in the refrigerator as well. `

Jimmy: Ew. Just. Ew.

AdminRaptor: And she is sitting in jail with a $30,000 bond with 7–SEVEN–counts of endangering the welfare of a child and 1 count of child abuse. So now you understand why Jimmy and I feel that this is a ridiculously low amount for bond. Oh, and there was physical abuse as well. Not only were flea bites and scratches found on the toddler, and bruises on her that Cheryl admitted to causing. The bathroom also looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in months as well. Oh, and the back door was always open because the glass of the door was broken. The full details can be read on the probable cause papers in the sources.

And unfortunately, I can’t think of the best way to end this blog post except to say that I hope that she is held responsible for her actions and that the children (and the dogs too) find a good home with loving families that will love and care for them like they deserve.

Jimmy: Too serious, bro.

AdminRaptor: Rule #2, Jimmy.

[1] Missouri Mother Cheryl Dudley Left Loaded Gun In Crib, Police Say – The Huffington Post
[2] Cheryl Dudley Probable Cause Statement – Scribd
[3] St. Peters Woman Accused of Leaving Loaded Gun In Crib – CBS News St. Louis
[4] St. Peters mom left loaded rifle in crib, police say – St. Louis Post-Dispatch

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Add a Comment
  1. I like it!
    In other news, stupid bitch. What a redneck.

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ˜€ I was afraid I overdid it on the attempted humor/sarcasm/snark.

  2. Didn’t like it. Too busy, hard to find and follow the story. Sorry, but I am just being honest.

    1. Honesty is good! I like honesty haha. Thank you for letting me know! I don’t plan on writing like this again on this blog, so next time will be much better and more professional/decent than this one. I want to thank you for being so mature in your expression of discontent. ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. Ditto @ everything you said, Tway. Still appreciate the effort and intentions behind it, but would take the old format if I had my druthers

  3. I liked it. Maybe not for every post, but once in a while it’s nice to have something different.

    1. Thank you! I won’t do this often and most likely won’t do it again, but thanks for your feedback anyway. I’m glad that you did like it though. I’m also glad that even with those who did not like it, that they were able to express that maturely ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. I agree with Twayblade.

    1. Noted! Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate it. I won’t be writing like this anymore more thank likely. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I thought it was great, but it would be too much for every story. I did make me laugh though! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Thank you! Yeah. I was just so tired and for some reason this seemed like an okay idea haha. I won’t do it again, at least for a very long while if ever at all. But I am glad that you did like it ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Oh I think you should do something similar again, just not too often, keep it fresh! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. The 2 children and the dogs deserve better than that filthy beast. Just imagine the stench from the rotting food and shit!

    1. I agree. I can’t even imagine. I hope that the dogs and the children get into a much better home with a loving family.

  7. Bazinga……I love you Sheldon. It’s good, I am a fan of the alter ego. But not for every story.

  8. I enjoy the way that you write! Keep up the good work. Wish everyone could miraculously run out of these stories though. ๐Ÿ™

  9. I admit to being an indifferent housekeeper but I don’t understand how people can leave messy diapers and dog poop on the floor. Seriously, how hard is it to clean up after the dog?And how does an Orc like that get sex? She could burn a blister on a mirror at ten paces!

    1. Some people are little more than two-legged animals.

    2. Skye Belle Matilda Brand

      I think you & I might be similar in that my house always looks like a tornado hit a Toys R Us but there’s nothing dirty out of place…soiled nappies go straight in the big bin outside, dirty crockery/cutlery goes to the kitchen to be washed up & surfaces are wiped down immediately after the activity (meal, craft/art, etc) is finished…

      My sister calls it “clean but messy”!

      1. I maintain there is a difference between “clean dirt” and “dirty dirt”! My daughter’s room (and mine too, sometimes) often looks like WalMart exploded in there but you can still walk around safely barefoot, nobody’s ever going to get sick from eating out of my kitchen and I keep the common areas clean and tidy so nobody will ever feel embarrassed if a visitor drops by unannounced.

  10. I loved it , it followed the Aussie way of humour. Thanks again.

  11. I loved the set-up! I giggled at “Murika,” -it reminded me of the Stephanie Miller show (liberal radio).

    1. I know I’ll get flamed ten ways to Sunday for saying this, but, since opinions are being solicited–even though it was meant as a jest, I found the ‘Murika line to be offensive. Not anywhere in the same galaxy of offensive as child abuse, of course, but it’s not something I personally want to read.
      /let the lynching begin :/

  12. In one closet in my apartment there is a water heater, on the one side (the other side has space to hang up coats). My property manager told me, when I first moved in, about not having things around the water heater (look at the Scribd document, she had stuff around hers). So I’m careful to keep things as far away as possible in that closet.
    My 11-year-old son, who’s on the autism spectrum, knows not to put anything around that hot water heater. I told him “it can start a fire.” If my son knows better, why doesn’t she?
    (Maybe it’s because he likes watching me play Sims 2 or 3…and if a Sim dies in a fire, I tell him, see, that’s what happens. I don’t let them “try for baby” when he’s watching me play, though, just so you know….)

  13. In Oct. 2013, Dudley got a 10 year suspended sentence and 5 years probation. One condition is that she has to stay on birth control! I wish that was a frequent condition for probation for these types of disgusting, lousy mothers. I can’t post the link but the article is in the St. Peters Patch.

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