Bad Breeders

Parenting so bad, it's criminal

Tag: mail

We get letters: No Excuses

It’s once again to dip into the bulging mail sack of the Bad Breeders inbox.

Seriously though, this is a great e-mail from another cycle breaker…

Hi I’m a big fan of your blog. I stumbled upon your link on another site. I praise the work you do and bringing these horrible stories to light and it absolutely breaks my heart at all the things these innocent children are forced to go through.

I was beaten constantly as a child as my mother said it was ”disipline” using anything from shoes to steel rods. My step father also beat me many times. I moved in with my aunt at age 14. At 16 I became pregnant and turned my life around. As before I was out all night drinking and doing drugs fighting and harassing people. When my daughter was 1 I met a man who abused me for a year. One day he choke slammed me to the ground in front of my family. That’s when i had enough. I fought back and left him for good.

I’m currently single by preference. I now work for child and family services in my hometown. I’m proud to say my daughter has never seen me hurt by another person physically. My sister asked me why my child is so polite and intelligent kind and loving. I tell her it’s what she sees. She has never seen violence at home and I instill family values and the importance of helping other’s in need and that a person speaking up for someone who cannot could save another’s life one day.

I thank you for creating this blog and not caring for the ”haters” as i say. I would never defend someone’s horrid actions nor would I feel bad for what other’s think of me as I feel it’s for the best so please continue your amazing work.

After reading an e-mail like this I find that if this amazing woman could break the cycle and make something of her’s and her child’s life it leads me to believe that there is no excuse for anyone to harm their children. Let’s try to make a world where there doesn’t have to be cycle breakers because there will be no cycle. Lofty idea I know but in the beginning most good ideas are lofty.

This next e-mail comes to us from someone who while she may not be a cycle breaker she’s willing to help children nonetheless…

Thanks for all the work you do to expose child abuse and highlight the stories on your site, painful though they are to read.

I worry sometimes I’m not a very good mother because I’m an older mom and now in my 40’s with a very active 4-year-old I sometimes have days when I can’t interact much with her. I have arthritis and though I’m still young enough that it’s not at crisis point yet I have days when I can’t run or kick ball or get down on the floor and play or even pick her up. I feel awful having to say “no” to her. Then I think of all the poor babes on your site who will never get a chance to do any of those things even once and I realise it’s not so bad even if all I can do is hug her and read her a book.

I think the worst and saddest thing in the world must be a small child who dies at the hands of their mother, still loving them to the end even though all they can see from the person who is supposed to love them most is hatred and cruelty.

One day after my daughter starts school and I have time of my own I hope to take the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children training course and work for them in some capacity, whether paid or volunteer. If I could even help one little kid to not have to go through what so many endure on a daily basis that would be something.

I forget where I picked this up but someone once told me if you believe in a cause use whatever your talent is to support that cause. If that means volunteer work, great. In my case I like to think I tell interesting enough stories to not only entertain but educate so that’s what I do.

Find your talent and try to use it to help the victims we read about on this site way too often.

And of course a huge thank you to the amazing readers of this site who support us and never fail to surprise us.

We get letters: A teacher and a cycle breaker

I’ve been trying to do the e-mails on Sunday but it just didn’t work out this weekend. But enough about me. On to the e-mails.

First from a cycle breaker…

I’m fairly new to your site and every time I read a story my heart breaks. I was a victim of child abuse and molestation at the hands of my step father and some abuse by my mother. I remember being thrown down flights of stairs at somewhere between the ages of 5-8! I have 4 children of my own and my two middle children are girls! I can promise you if ANYONE ever did anything to hurt those girls in that way they better be ready for mama near to cut their dick off and shove it so far up their ass the doctors won’t get it out! My ex has hit our 15-year-old twice and I have filed charges both times to no avail! The cops did nothing prosecutor refuses to call me back and cps is no help either. My 15-year-old son has had nothing to do with his father in over a year and on some level it breaks my heart because I never imagined this would happen to my child. On the other hand VERY proud of my son for taking a stand and saying there is no way I’m coming back to dads house! The cycle can be broken!!!! It’s hard work there are times I lock myself in my room to calm down but one look at my precious babies and I know I could never hurt them!

And a teacher…

I’m not even sure how I stumbled upon your site, but have been a daily visitor for a few months now. As a teacher for 13 years, I have had the heartbreaking responsibility of reporting suspicions of abuse. I have lost track of how many 51As I have filed. I have spent countless nights worrying about students, waiting impatiently for CPS to screen in or out…more oten than not only to put hope on hold when a filing was screened out.

I am also the mother of 3 amazing boys (7, 3, 1) who are my world. Since starting to read your site, I have found myself doing everything I can to get as many smiles and giggles from my boys. I drink them in and make sure that all of them know how very much I love them.

I have taken the time to read every single story on your site and promise that each of those angels will be thought of as I raise my boys with loving hands. Thank you for all you do to share the stories of the tiny angels of the world…keep up the great work!

Thanks not only to the writers of these e-mails but also to the writers of BB who have inspired and helped many.

We get letters: My Mail Sack Overflows

We’ve had a lot of e-mail gather in the BB inbox. And by gathering I mean I sat on my ass before getting permission of the e-mail authors to post the letters. So we have a lot to get through. I’m just going to list them and let them speak for themselves.

E-mail #1

I’m new to your site. My heart aches and breaks for the little ones, so helpless and defenseless at the hands of people they should be able to trust. I am sickened to my core at some of these so called “mothers” who allow their “man” to harm their child.
One such story sticks out in my mind is the story of Dominick Calhoun who at the age of 4 was tortured to death by his mother’s boyfriend for urinating on a couch. His mother was there at the time. This is a story that should be on your site. Google has a lot of information about this case. He was a beautiful little angel. His Grandparents have fought hard to pass a law named after Dominick that would give harsher sentences to child abusers. Please write about this story. More people (especially single mothers) need to know about these senseless and avoidable crimes.

We as single mother’s need to be vigilant about who we allow in our children’s lives.

I pray for these fallen angels and their families every night. Some to rest in peace, and some to come to justice. Thank you for writing and letting more people know about these horrible crimes.

E-mail #2

I just want to say that I am sickened by these stories. Little Babies murdered by pieces of SHIT. Maybe a small change could be made if all those in favor of pro-life (I mean the really crazy ones) MUST step up to the plate and put a plan in action to protect the “unwanted” children AFTER they are brought to term instead of focusing on the inevitable. All the time and energy put into the anti abortion campaign could be put forth as a voice for the abused children. I am not going to state which side I lean towards. However, I believe that an abortive death is less painful than what these children go through. AHHH It makes me so mad to know that these children are hurt this way.

Just wanted to vent. Thank you for bringing attention to these stories. Now if we could all find a voice for these little angels.

E-mail #3

I’ve been reading this blog forever, but have never commented until now. Almost 11 years ago, my 7 week old son passed away (SIDS). All while I was reading this, his perfect little face kept popping into my head. I hope her punishment is scalding. I just can’t even imagine what would drive someone to do something like this. At 7 weeks, they are so little, and so dependent and helpless… I don’t even have the words to say what I feel right now. Heartbroken for that little baby, and so much rage at the “mom”

E-mail #4

I wanted to write to you and tell you that I really appreciate this website. I’m a 21 year old mother of a beautiful 14 year old daughter named (redacted). She is my absolute world and my rock.

I came from an abusive home growing up and nothing pains me more than to read these stories.

For as long as I can remember, my parents weren’t the nicest people. When my mother became angry with my brother and I, she would hit us so hard with belts that the design on the belt could be made out in our skin. Our butts had red hand prints on them for days. It was terrifying…

I thought the terror of my mother hitting us was all that I would endure, but when she died when I was 11 my life took a whole different turn. My father became an alcoholic and we were abused even worse… mainly me, who my brother blamed almost everything on so he wouldn’t get hit that day. It seemed like it was always me getting abused while my brother watched with a smug look on his face, almost trying to tell me “Ha, It’s not me for once!” My father would grab me, throw me on the bed, and hit me with all of his might. He never hit me in the face though because he didn’t want anyone to see what was going on behind closed doors. One time, I left a cup of milk in my room for a day or two and it got moldy. My dad found it and forced me to eat it with a spoon all while he was holding my head back by my hair. I wasn’t allowed to shower for days or brush my hair and I always smelled. It was embarrassing to go to school like that because I had no friends and I was always being made fun of. My dad had a girlfriend around this time and he would stay over there for days and days and only come to check on me and my brother once in a while. I was extremely skinny by highschool 110lbs at 5’8″. Some one called CPS on him, but he denied everything and by then I was too scared to speak up and say anything because he would constantly tell me that if he went to jail, he would come back for me and bury me in the woods where no one would find me.

I remember my brother coming home too late one time and watching helplessly through the window as my brother was getting hit by a 2×4. My dad told me that it was my brother who hit him… but I watched the whole thing. When the police asked me if I saw anything, I was already advised by my dad that if I said ANYTHING that he would put a bullet in my head. I regret not saying anything to this day.

When I turned 17, I ran away and moved out after he pushed me into a space heater and broke my hand because I was too busy doing my home work to let the dog inside. I ran away and didn’t speak to him for nearly 6 months, when all of my trauma caught up to me and I tried to commit suicide. It was then when he opened his eyes and saw what he had been doing wrong the entire time.. I saw him break down to tears and wish and pray that he could start over… but it was too late. the damage had already been done. I do forgive my dad to a certain point, as now that he realized how horribly he affected me, he has been a great person… but he will never be trusted by my brother and I to watch our children… EVER. he is allowed brief visits and that is all.

It does not make up for how he ruined my childhood. I am still angry to this day, but I try not to think about it for the sake of my daughter. I could never imagine anyone hurting my baby girl and just because your parents treat you like garbage, doesn’t mean you can treat your children like garbage! Break the cycle! You’re better than that.

On this mother’s day I hope this blog has at least influenced at least one parent from thinking twice before abusing their children.

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

We get letters: You take the good, you take the bad

We received some more e-mail lately. Rather than doing separate posts I thought I would do just one mega mail post to save time since time is a luxury in my life now.

The first one is from another cycle breaker. Don’t think I’m saying ‘another one’ like I’m rolling my eyes. I’m amazed at how many e-mails we get from people who have broken the cycle of violence.

I wanted to thank you for having a site like this. Reading the stories really hurts my heart because I grew up in an abusive household. It is absolutely true that the emotional scars carry on for life more than the physical scars ever could. I wanted to share my story as I feel it has been pretty severe.

My “mother” from what my family has told me, always had problems mentally. Up until recently I really had no idea what was wrong with her, as I had never seen any other child grow up with a mother like her. Life was okay up until I was 3, because my father was around and my mom had a nanny who did all the dirty work with child raising. As soon as the family business went bankrupt my father suffered a breakdown and went to Germany in an attempt to set up a business there, and restore the lifestyle my mother had become used to and expected.

Me, my brother, and my mother ended up living at my maternal grandmother’s house. My brother stayed upstairs with my grandmother, and I was downstairs in the finished basement area with my mother… This played a huge part in the abuse. It was a strange situation and my grandmother practically raised my brother.

I was an avid ice skater as a child.. and loved nothing more… however my mother took that love and turned it into something awful… Due to her anger that my dad had broken down.. the abuse started when I was 3… It began as hitting me in the face, pinching me hard.. verbal abuse.. by the time I was 5 I couldn’t attend kindergarten and had to be homeschooled because I was always covered in bruises.

As I got deeper into ice skating, any mistake I made was used against me. After practices, the car ride home was unbearable… She would smash my head against the car, and take her fingers under my tongue and dig against the side of my mouth… the amount of pain I felt I couldn’t explain to you in words… she would twist my arm behind my back… she used the car lighter on my tongue when we got home, she would stick needles under my nails. This one time when my grandmother and brother weren’t home, she tied me up and left me in the dark in the basement and used a horse whip on me.

The most evil thing she ever did I will never forget. She took pliers and squeezed my tongue and ripped a part of it… I was maybe 7 when this happened? I saw a dentist 2 weeks after that incident and was threatened to say that I was playing with a candy cane and it punctured my tongue… and he believed it… She broke my nose another time… Broke my tailbone.. I wasn’t allowed to eat much…. at 8 years old I was 48 pounds…. and at 13 years olds I was 77 pounds…. there are pictures all through my child of me emaciated… my whole life I walked around and was too afraid to talk, but I would look at people and in my head beg them to see me and take me away from her. Nobody ever did.

Other things she did was walking me to the woods a few blocks away from my house and leaving me there, saying that some man in the woods would come and drown me in the lake. One night I remember being awakened by literally being thrown across the room as a young child. Just because she felt like it. As far as emotional abuse, everyday she had me sit down and write over and over again “I am worthless, I am ugly.” What hurts me the most is that people knew what was going on…. and they never rescued me. Because my brother was being taken care of and a burden on them… I was just too much to take on apparently. I didn’t ask to be born, especially into this.

My family recently told me she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder….. which explains how she would manipulate her way out of any questions ever asked to her…

To fast forward the story, I was homeschooled until high school… and did not adjust well in high school.. The day I graduated high school, my “mother” left me in NYC with nothing… I was 17… so I got a waitressing job and lived in a little room… Sadly.. I got into an abusive relationship because I didn’t know any better and had nowhere else to go. I became pregnant with my son at 18… the day I found out I was pregnant, I promised my little guy that I would do right by him… He deserved a chance. I googled all about being a good parent. And getting away from my ex… at 5 months I went food shopping and had him drive me, and he left me 3 miles away from where we lived in 95 degree heat to walk back…. at 9 months pregnant he smashed my head into a car window… just as an example of his behavior. It doesn’t stop there.

I was preparing to leave him… and when my son was a month old, after having a C section, because the dishes weren’t done.. he smashed my head in with a ceramic dish….and ripped out a bunch of my hair right in front of my son.. and I somehow had the strength to grab my son and run outside… to a neighbors bleeding all over the place. When the cops got there they arrested him.. I had a concussion, lost my sense of smell….permanently. With my newborn and the clothes on my back, and my cat, I left for good. I left behind everything.

I started over completely. We lived in a little place by ourselves. I worked 3 jobs… and went to school. Now I am 23 years old in my last year of my masters as a Physician Assistant, engaged to be married in September to the sweetest man anyone could ever have. He loves my little guy like his own. But child abuse is nothing you ever get over… I have nobody to relate to… I have nightmares at night…. I feel like the scared little girl still I feel an emptiness in my heart… especially now that my wedding is coming, and I’ve had to (as usual) figure out everything on my own… there is no mother sitting there for my dress fitting etc But my biggest goal has always been to have a loving sweet family… My son has ADHD and can be extremely difficult… however never once have I ever been tempted to hurt him in any way… I always tell him how smart he is, how good he is, how much he is loved.

My whole point in this story, is no matter if you were abused it is no excuse whatsoever… I look at these children and wish I could have them… I wish I could rescue them… I plan on being an adoptive mother as well… I’ve considered writing a book about my experience as a child but who knows if it would be popular… It would be nice.. There was a child called it book… sounded very similar to my situation.

Please keep speaking for these children that can’t speak…… they need all of us!

I think the book is a great idea and you never know, it could be a success.

We got the next short one from a reader and although it’s short in content we appreciate every e-mail we get.

You guys do a great job thanks . From a mother of 7 wonderful kids ages 23 to 1week. Thanks

As usual it is we who thank you. Without our readers we are nothing.

And last and certainly least we have the usual defender bullcrap we’ve come to know and ridicule…

Fuck you and your website! you have no power nor right to run your dick sucker about peoples lives and problems! NEWSFLASH you werent fucking there! Your website is fake as fuck just like you!

You got us. Every story we post on here is fake. No kids are ever abused and all the people being locked up are innocent. The secret is out…moron.

Ask BB: Should I sign over guardianship?

We recently received the following e-mail from a reader on what would be the best step for her child.

I know this site is a blog site, I started reading the site when I found it bored one day and reading a few horror stories about children in dryers and stumbled onto this site. Stories here absolutely horrified me and when I found out I was pregnant I had vowed to be an excellent mother.

I am a cycle breaker my father was an abuser verbally saying and calling me everything in the abuser’s handbook, physical my memory I remember the most was when I was two I was strangled and lived, and sexually assaulted by not only my father but by a close friend of the family. My mother the neglectful worker, left me in the care of people who had questionable motives and still talks to my father to this day. Growing up moving from house to house and a few times to different states only to return to my home state doesn’t make a very stable life for a growing child. Just trying to get by. From state assistance to almost begging off the side of the street to finally landing in my grandparents home where I grew up.

I never did any drugs, I only drank at my rite of passage as a new 21 year old, and yada. My biggest mistake not graduating high school it is held against me. I am now struggling at the end to not give in to my boyfriend’s parent’s demands and sign guardianship over to them a temporary thing till I can get key binding things in life to support. I don’t want to do it but as best interests go for my son this temporary offer may be a forced thing against my wishes. I’m not a bad breeder, I swear I’d turn myself into this site and let myself be a permanent disgrace. I make sure my son is clean, fed, and happy I don’t have great financial support but I make sure he’s cared for. The only reason I can’t take him with me is threats of CPS called the moment I take him with me to another place that has questionable means but any move isn’t grand. I’m literally hours away from signing anything and I’m hoping that there is a chance someone has any information for me.

My baby’s father is really a great guy nothing like what we read here. He is in his life and helped amazingly after the birth. I had the options before he was really considered to be kept to abort but I chose to keep him I am pro-life and proud of it. I had the option to give him up for adoption… the moment my son was born I chose to keep him… even after having lots of scares he would’ve been premature or small for date he came out beautiful at 7 pounds 12 ounces. He was a good induced labor, induced at 10:30 am on March 27th 2011 was born 3:49pm. Almost parallel to my own birth time which was 3:43pm.

But I know this site has some things on young mothers specially struggling to support their child ones. but I am honestly trying to do my best for my child. I’ve broken my own abused cycle to ensure he will have a great life the moment he was conceived and I found out I know it is never about me anymore everything I do is for my son.

I really hope I can get help somehow and be able to keep my son. The only reason I can’t take him with me is my bf’s parents dislike my own mother. but it is his parents that are evicting me out and now trying to keep my son… in what I feel is unfair intent. I have a great support net my mom is willing to provide and I have this feeling now that my rights as a mother are being trampled under the “what is best for the child” saying.

I have the means to care for my son, I even have a job lined up… what can I do to protect myself in short time?

Any thought Breeder Readers?

As always Bad Breeders takes no responsibility for any actions resulting in following or not following the commenters’ advice.

We get letters: After years of torture a cycle is still broken

Once again we received an e-mail from someone who suffered years of abuse and torture and still went on to treat their own children with love and respect. This one speaks for itself…

I was adopted , Born in a small clinic in the midwest.

I was adopted at birth by two people from the Appalachians, it was hell from day 1.

When I cried I was smacked, my mother said I cried on purpose, trying to get attention. I was an ill baby , allergic to milk and my tummy always hurt , always throwing up. This didn’t sit well with my mother, her remedy was to give me more to what ever I was allergic too.

My earliest memory was her holding me on her lap and restraining me, forcing me to eat, if i fell asleep during my feeding I was rudely shaken awake. I have scars on my face where she has pinched my cheeks to hold food in my mouth so I wouldn’t spit it out.

My toddler years consisted of being thrown out of the crib onto the floor busting out my teeth and giving me two black eyes, my leg was broken because my mom said I fell off the bed, I was always being chased, hit or force-fed.

AS I became older, I was always told I was ugly, and I acted stupid. I was tied up by my ankles to a bed post and stripped of my pants and under garments, my mom then sat across the small of my back so I couldn’t reach around to stop her from beating my butt with a shoe heel, a thick wooden paddle this all the while stuffing my dads tube socks in my mouth so I couldn’t scream. This beating would go on until her fury drained out of her and I was left bleeding through my bruises. Before any type of beating she would walk through the house closing windows so the neighbors wouldn’t hear.

She stood me in a corner naked and flipped me with rubber bands, put my feet in a frying pan on the stove. Made me eat dish soap and whenever I had chapped lips she would put hot pepper sauce on them.

When she was potty training me, she would make me sit on the toilet for hours. During summer vacation she would get me up, feed me breakfast and then make me stand in the corner until it was time to go to bed that night , usually standing 13 hours or more a day.

She beat me ( along with my father) on my female private parts with a paddle or a paint stirrer, and when it was bruised, she would remark….” look , your pee-pee is wearing lipstick.” She then would apply muscle rub to my genitalia. This happened more than once.

I think she was poisoning me, I had sores all over my body, my tongue always had red bumps and my nails had white spots on them. I was always very sick to my stomach, but I was never allowed to rest, I had to stand in that corner very ill. Sickness was a sign of weakness.

She didn’t like it when I had to go to the hospital. She took me out and brought me home. She would wrap me up in bed sheets with a peroxide or alcohol solution with all of those open sores on my body, it hurt so bad!! then she stood me in front of the window air unit wrapped in wet bed sheets, She would make me stand there for hours. I would freeze and shake.

At night when I was in bed, she would come in and scream at me that I wasnt sleeping in my bed correctly and then she would grab me by the hair and throw me to the ground this would happen over and over, it got to where I was afraid to go to sleep. I wasnt allowed to have friends and I couldn’t play with my toys, I either stood in the corner all day ( from time of getting up till time for bed) or sat in the corner of my room.

I was tested at school and they wanted to put me in a gifted class and she told them no. So when I got home after school, she would take away my books and not let me do homework, so I would flunk out. See? she said, you’re not so smart.

She made me clean the bathroom and mirrors with my tongue, she wrapped me up in my dads thermal shirts and tied my hands behind my back like a straight jacket I was often made to eat off the floor like a dog . She also made me eat whole cakes and a bottles of ketchup when I told her I was hungry and wanted a little bit more.

She would make me stand and make faces at myself in the mirror. She would send me to my room to cry and when I stopped she would come in with a belt,extension cord. She was also known to punch me in the stomach.

I had a horrible life, I was always afraid, afraid to sleep, afraid to speak. And my dad would just go along with it.

I still suffer.

I went through 38 foster homes after this, it was just as bad.

I am a single mother with a son and I could never even imagine doing these things to my child. I want everyone to know for the record that past abuse is not an excuse for abusing your own children, you can rise above it.

My son is a straight A student, charming and precocious and I love every hair on his head. I am thankful he is here and I never want to see him cry because someone hurt him.

I hope others read your stories and learn.

To this day, I don’t date because I am afraid of putting some idiot in my child’s life. I had him, and I am here to take care of him and see he gets the best start possible, my social life can wait.

Be well and do good work………

It is the person who sent this e-mail who is doing the best work of all.

We get letters: You can break the cycle

It seems that our recent wave of e-mails has prompted another reader to write in. Now we don’t post these e-mails to pat ourselves on the back. We don’t post them to make ourselves feel good even though they do. We post them to let survivors of abuse to know that they’re not alone and that they do have a choice.

I was just reading a letter you received from a lady who reads on this site. I have to admit I come to your site daily, even though it breaks my heart I still read it daily.

I too had one of the worst childhoods imaginable. My mother had 5 kids, with 4 different men. My oldest sister was a product of incest and rape. My mother IS a drug addict and drunk still to this day. We endured beatings, rape at the hands of her boyfriends, being sold for drugs and much more. When I was 4 I remember my older brother teaching me how to steal food. Because if we did not steal we did not eat.

My mother is still a drug addict drunk and still says she did her best, never admitting the damage she has caused. However out of 5 kids, there is only one that is not addicted to drugs or alcohol. Me.

My older sister is in prison for 16 years due to a meth addiction. She got into high-speed police chases with all 3 of her kids in the car. One of her 3 kids is in a gang, and one is already having sex and doing drugs at 14. The other is younger but still always in trouble.

My little sister lost custody of her son when he was 3 weeks old, cops got a tip she was using drugs in front of the baby, found her in a motel room passed out with cocaine all over and the baby crying.

My little brother has been a heroin addict since he was 15 years old. My older brother is an alcoholic, although he is a functioning drunk. He works and takes care of his family.

I am the only one out of 5 that does not use drugs or drink. I have 3 kids as well, and I am so hard on them when it comes to drugs and drinking because of all the disaster I have seen.

We spent our lives back and forth between foster homes and with my mom, the state foster homes they put us in were almost as bad if not worse than living with mom. I was raped there too. We were beat and for some reason I can justify my mother beating me but I could never justify a pure stranger doing it, as they we supposed to be better.

I guess what I am saying is I agree the excuse that it happened to me is bull, but my sibling are helping to prove that theory. I have never and would never hurt a single being. I can’t even bring my self to hate my mother for all she has done. I just forgave and let it go. Some people are just like that for whatever the reason, and I feel they should be locked up and the key thrown away.

I am going through the classes to be a foster parent right now, trust me there are not many of those homes that are good. If I can be just one and save just a few kids that is the blessing to others I am able to do. But more good people need to step up and take on the responsibility that these sperm and egg donors do not.

We all need to be accountable for the kids that live close by. You can see and tell when there is abuse, quit being chickens and report it. That is what people need to do.

I love your site although I hate that there is a need for it. You guys are awesome. Thank you.

We Get Letters: A Life Changed

I’ve literally been overwhelmed with some of the e-mail that we’ve been receiving lately. The next one is no different. I am just going to let it speak for itself…

Every time I start to wonder if I am doing the right thing by not allowing my ex any contact with our child I get on here and remind myself what happens when immature psychos are allowed access to their kids. I have even resorted to emailing stories to my ex’s other ex-wife (who has custody of another child of his) whenever she is feeling sorry for him.

He lost his kids for a reason and he only wants to see them so he can get some attention. He kidnapped our child when they were 1 just to scare me. He didn’t care that they were terrified because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. I thank God everyday that I got out before he was ever able to do any lasting harm to my baby.

I don’t EVER bring anyone around my kids after reading stories on here. I have encouraged my friends to read this too because so many of us are single and lonely. No dick is worth losing my babies over. I have a wonderful vibrator who never hits me, never insults me and will never hurt my kids! Vibrator can’t knock me up, cheat on me or snort my paycheck…starting to wonder why I need a guy at all????

So thank you for this website. I know it must eat away at your soul to read this stuff day after day. It makes me really fear for our future. If it weren’t for people exposing these scumbags, I fear that child abuse would be swept under the rug and all the mistakes by Child services would go unnoticed. We need more people to be outraged and to do something about it. People can’t keep closing their eyes to abuse. I have no doubt in my mind that my wonderful kids would be gone today if I hadn’t had the courage to leave while he was on a trip.

I still worry that he will come after us. He is a coward that will kill the kids just so i can’t have them. BTW, I can’t get a restraining order because he hasn’t actually said he will kill me. He just likes to send messages about his gun or that he knows where I am. You can’t rely on the police for anything but to arrest him AFTER he kills. To all the abused women out there – it’s scary and hard to leave but I have never felt freer and my kids smile everyday now!!! It is worth dying for – just to know they are happy.

We get letters: Not all who are abused abuse

Many of our readers have admitted to being subjected to abuse as children.  I have heard many stories and cried many tears after hearing some of your stories.  This particular one was the hardest for me to read.  This email came from a reader who, shortly after sending this, became one of my favorite regulars.  She has a passionate voice that is what I find makes readers the best!

I read through almost your entire site, tears on my face and unable to look away.  Over and over I see the idiots claiming they had rough lives and suffered abuse and thus, do the same to their children.  It’s a cycle that is based on sheer and pure bullshit.  Boy do I hope you have room for this in your comment box LOL I’ll attempt to condense this. 

My earliest memory was 3 men, covered in blood and banging on the windows to my home.  My older brother hiding me in a closet and covering me with jackets saying “Don’t make a sound, you’re safe in here.”  Only later did he tell me the full story of my mother selling me as a ‘sexual toy’ to abuse and then kill in order to pay off her drug debts.  I spent each day of my life being told by this horrible waste of breathable air that I was worthless, and told often that any abortion she tried wouldn’t work because I was too stupid to know how to just die. 

By the time I was 11 the two older siblings who tried to protect me were thrown on the streets and it took all the way into my adult life to find them again.  I was kept away from all relatives, not allowed to speak to anyone, and told that the spirit of ‘nigger’ was in me because my blond hair was darkening as I grew older.  My immediate older sister was blonde and blue eyed and treated like royalty.  I wasn’t allowed shoes, new clothing, or food other than ramen. 

I was forced to live in the closet on a blanket, and if I refused to agree to my mother’s opinion of white supremecy, I was told to sleep on the ledge outside her bedroom window … three floors up.  Yeah, I didn’t sleep much. 

My father begged for custody of me, tried over the course of my whole life and was always denied.  My mother was a WONDERFUL liar. 

My point in all this is that I grew up in all this shit … and Not ONCE in my life have I ever considered hurting another person, much less an innocent child. I SAW with clear eyes and knew what the difference between right and wrong was.  So these complete ass-hats blaming their abuse of children on their upbringing? Give my ass a break!  You CHOOSE to hurt others in retaliation of your own pain.  You CHOOSE to be an involuntary muscle is an ugly flesh suit.  You weren’t forced into anything.  So I say kill them all. Make it lethal injection or voluntary sterilization for these people.  End of story. They do NOT deserve children. 

I’m heartbroken at the thought that ANY mother could treat her child the way your mother (and I use the term loosely) did.  At the same time, I am in awe of your strength and courage.   Thank you for sharing your story.  It reminds me why we come to this site every day.  Thank you for being an amazing woman.  The more I get to know you, the more amazing you are to me.  Thank you for being a new regular.  You fit in perfectly with the rest of us in Trench’s cult.  Thank you for being you.  I consider myself lucky to be in the company of greatness.

We get letters: Making a change

We get a lot of comments from people who accuse us of just being a gossip blog and not really doing anything to actually help the children. One reader of the site disagrees. I’ve edited the following e-mail to protect the readers identity with the sender’s permission…

I am 19 years old, a mother of an infant, and a current university student. Your site has inspired me to get into social work. I just changed my major to social work today and after my bachelors degree, I plan on going to law school. I want to protect children from things like I read on this site. I also want to make sure the sick bastards that do all of this get the time and punishment they deserve. Every child deserves to be loved like I love and care for my son. Thank you for your inspiring help! (:

While inspiration is a great thing to instill in people it is we who should be thanking you. I think I speak for all of us here at BB when I say we wish you well in your studies and that you become a positive force in defense of the children in this country.

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