There are times when I could gleefully smack the ever-loving snot out of someone I don’t even know. This is one of those times. Smiley Joe up there (aka Joshua Schulkers, 22) apparently thought he was being photographed for the cover of GQ rather than getting a mugshot done for almost killing his 7-week-old daughter. I doubt GQ would take him anyway, since last time I checked they weren’t going for the “grunge in a dirty orange jumpsuit” look. That smirk he’s wearing just makes me want to chew up a hubcap and spit nails at his face. He looks like he’s thinking, “Look, Ma! I’m a big man – I beat up babies!”
The details are as follows: Last October, Joshua was arrested when his daughter, Destiny, was taken to the hospital with six broken ribs, another in early stages of healing, a fractured skull, and a lacerated liver. She was only seven weeks old, and it was her mother’s first day back at work after the birth. What a great dad! He won’t work to support his family, but he is at least trying to save money by getting rid of that extra mouth to feed. Since I’m sure he eats more than the infant, though, I think the better idea would have been for him to go jump in front of a bus or something. That would have been a lot more cost effective, AND the mother wouldn’t have had all those medical bills for the baby’s injuries.
Like all thoughtful child abusers, this one gave authorities several different options to choose from concerning the cause of Destiny’s injuries. I think he got them from pages 6, 42, and 63 of the “Baby Beater’s Handbook”. He alternately blamed a couch, a baby changing table, and …..wait for it….the baby herself. Yup, he said she fractured her own skull because she was wiggling around while he was trying to change her, or some such garbage. Oh, another explanation was that he ‘squeezed her’ until she ‘made a sound’. I bet he liked playing with those little packing bubbles when he was a child too. I think his cell mate should be allowed to squeeze his head until it makes a sound. Preferably a “POP”.
Destiny’s family went to the court proceedings, and both the grandmother and an aunt spoke out against this monster and wished him the best in prison. By the best, I mean a lengthy stay and punishment equal to (or greater than) what he dished out to their precious angel. I agree whole-heartedly.
Although this waste of genetic matter initially denied any wrongdoing (because, as you know, Destiny caused her own injuries), he eventually pleaded guilty to the charges and was rewarded with 15 years in prison. The good news is that his child will be substantially bigger when he gets out and can avoid all the ‘squeezing’ activities – the bad news is that old Josh will still be young enough to create a few more babies that he can squeeze to death or seriously injure. Let’s hope he loses his attraction for women while he is in the grey bar hotel being Bubba’s babe.
I haven’t received any tips on this one from BB, but if April has any, and sends them to me, I will include my thanks to our fine supporters. For now I’ll take all the credit for the research, since I’m greedy that way.